Page 105 of His to Possess
I curse against her skin. “I won’t apologize for hiring a PI,” I say, ignoring her little incredulous squeak. “It’s my job to keep you safe, and I needed information to do that.” I finally put an inch of space between us, just enough to be able to look into her eyes. “But I am sorry you found out that way. And I’m sorry if you heard Jane being crude.”
“She wasn’t the only one.”
Guilt worms into my belly, but I need her to understand this. “I’m sorry for that, too. It’s not unusual for Doms to talk that way to each other, especially in an environment like the club.”
“I didn’t like it.”
“Then I won’t ever do it again.”
It’s her turn to pull back, staring up at me with confused eyes. “You won’t?”
“Of course not.” I narrow my eyes. “Why does that surprise you?”
“You told me you were different inside a club,” she says, voice small. “That you were different when you were acting as a Dom. I thought that meant…I thought you would just decide how things went and I would have to deal with it.”
“No,” I say fiercely. “That’s not how this works. And if we’d had more time to explore the lifestyle, you would know that.” I cup her face, needing her to understand this. “You have the power here, Lilah. Yes, I need to be in control. I need to dominate. It’s part of me. But you tell me what you’re comfortable with, what I’m allowed to do. I might push you sometimes, but only as far as you can handle. You want more privacy? You don’t want me discussing you with other Doms? I will respect your limits.”
She chews on her lip. “I don’t want you to have to change for me.”
I grin at her. “It’s adorable that you still don’t know the effect you have on me. I already changed for you, love. Because you, this, the two of us together—that changed everything.”
She presses her lips to mine, so sweet and soft, and I groan, pulling her tight against me, my tongue immediately darting out to plunder her mouth. “I need you,” I say against her mouth. “Will you let me have you now?”
“Yes,” she whimpers. “I’m so ready, Philip.”
My hands slid down to the back of her dress, reaching for the zipper, but the moment I feel the leather against my fingertips, it rushes back once more. Lilah on that stage. Lilah offering herself to someone else. Leaving me.
“You’re angry again,” she says, and I look up to see her watching me, her expression knowing. She takes my hands between hers, no doubt noting the way they’re shaking once again. “Tell me what you need, Philip. What can I do to make it better?”
I grit my teeth against the answer threatening to spill out. I do need something, but I refuse to give into it. The last thing I want to do right now is scare her off. If we make love tonight—and fuck, do I want to make love to this woman—it needs to be gentle for her. It will be her first time. It needs to be perfect.
Understanding crosses her face. “You want to punish me.”
I close my eyes, shame swelling in me. “Yes.”
“For leaving. For going back to Rendezvous.”
“Yes,” I bite out, anger licking my insides. “But I can control it. I know that’s not what you need tonight.”
She’s quiet for a long moment. Then she shocks me when her perfectly calm, even voice says, “you should do it.”
I gape at her. “What?”
“You should punish me. Get it out of your system. Then you’ll feel better.”
“Lilah—”
“I told you I wanted to experience this lifestyle with you.” I’m shocked to see something dark and needy dancing in her eyes. “This is part of that, right? Submitting to you. Pleasing you. Giving you what you need.”
I groan, my cock throbbing at her words. “It’s your first time,” I argue weakly.
She leans in close to brush her lips against mine. “Punish me, Philip. Punish me, and then claim me. Make me yours.”
I want nothing more than to do what she says. To take and claim and devour this woman. But Lilah means too much to me to mess this up. She needs to be sure.
So I pull her up into a sitting position and tilt her chin up so she’s facing me, our gazes locking. “Are you sure you want this?”
She bites her lip, looking both nervous and excited. So fucking cute and sexy and I think I’m going to explode right now. “Yes,” she says in a clear voice. “I want this.”
