Page 77 of His to Possess
“Nate says he took time off work to show you around the city,” Harper says. “Philipnevertakes time off work.”
“Philip also never sees the same girl more than once,” Emma says bluntly. “Unless it’s a sub he’s training for another Dom. And he never sees subs outside of the club.”
“But I’m not…I don’t even…” I’m flustered and it shows. “I don’t know if Iama submissive,” I finally blurt out. My stomach sinks as I look around the table at the three girls, all of them so secure of their place in this crazy, mysterious world I’ve only gotten a glimpse of. “Why would someone like Philip want to waste his time with me?” I ask, hating how the words send a stab of pain into my chest. “I’m completely naive about all of this. I have zero experience when he has tons. I don’t even know if Iwantthis.”
Emma fixes sparkling eyes on me. “Does the thought of getting tied up and spanked do it for you?”
“Emma!” Harper says, smacking her friend on the arm. “Don’t be so crude. She’s freaking out!”
I bury my face in my hands, wanting to disappear. But Emma reaches out and pries one hand away, squeezing it gently before letting go.
“I didn’t think I liked any of this before I started things with Jax,” she says, her voice much more gentle now. “I thought Harper was a kinky little nut job when she first went to Club Wyld.”
“Gee, thanks,” Harper says drily.
“For me, it wasn’t about all the BDSM stuff,” she continues. “Jax was dominating in bed and I liked that a whole lot.” She shrugs. “Everything else just happened naturally. The most important thing is that I trust him. So it was easy to try new things with him, you know? We don’t get into the hardcore stuff as much as these little hussies.” She grins and Harper makes a face at her. “But we figure out what works for us. Together.”
“And what if what works for Philip is too much for me?”
“Then you tell him that,” Rebecca says, her voice stronger than I’ve heard it all day. “That’s the most important part of all of this. You have to talk to each other, and you have to communicate.”
“Maybe your interests and limits won’t perfectly align,” Harper says. “But you don’t know until you try.”
“I don’t even know what I like,” I admit. I take a deep breath, looking around at all of them. “I’m not just a virgin to the lifestyle.”
I expect to see pity in their eyes, or maybe for them to look at me like I’m a circus freak. But I don’t see even the slightest hint of surprise. “He told you?” I say, realization making my stomach drop.
“Philip didn’t say anything,” Rebecca assures me. “Or if he did, Luke didn’t tell me.”
“Then how did you—”
“It’s a small community,” Rebecca says gently. “People talk.”
I feel like I’m going to burst into flames. When I entered the auction, I hadn’t expected anyone there to recognize me. But Philip had. And my spending time with such a notorious Dom turned every eye in the community in my direction. And I had never once even thought to worry about that. How naive can I be?
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed by,” Emma says firmly. “No one should have sex before they’re ready.”
I shake my head. “Agreed. But what the hell do I think I’m doing with a guy like Philip Matthews?”
“It must not bother him,” Harper says. “Because he’s clearly crazy about you.”
I blink at her. “He’s not—”
She cuts me off with an eye roll. “Girl. I saw the two of you together, remember? He couldn’t take his eyes off you.” She shakes her head. “I’ve seen Philip with a lot of girls. But I’ve never seen him look at anyone like that.”
I don’t know if I should feel flattered or nauseous.I’ve seen Philip with a lot of girls.Great. Just what I want to think about.
“Maybe he likes that you’re not experienced,” Emma says, that wicked glint back in her eyes. “He can train you just how he likes it.”
“God, you’re such a jerk,” Harper says.
Emma holds up her hands. “What? I’m serious! He obviously likes something about her more than the experienced subs he’s used to, or he wouldn’t have spent a million dollars to—”
Harper slaps a hand over Emma’s mouth, giving me an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry about her. I can’t take her anywhere.”
For some reason, the whole thing suddenly strikes me as hilarious. I’m drinking sake in a crowded restaurant with three near strangers talking about kinky BDSM sex. I let out a strangled giggle and then another, unable to hold it in. Soon we’re all giggling and the last remnant of embarrassment fades away.
When we’ve calmed down, Rebecca changes the subject to Harper’s upcoming wedding—apparently, she and Nate are newly engaged—and the conversation flows on without any more mention of spankings or my virginity. At least until we’re all gathering our things to go.
