Page 80 of His to Possess
But I don’t tell her any of that, because I know she’s not ready to hear it. She still doubts me, is still keeping things from me. Everything I learned from Jane this morning is proof of that. Lilah doesn’t trust me yet. Not with her secrets or her body or her heart. I want all three, without reservation or question. And I always get what I want.
Maybe tonight will be the night I finally make it happen.
We have a drink in the front lounge with Nate and Harper. The two girls talk like they’re long lost best friends and the sight makes me feel all warm inside because apparently, I’ve grown ovaries in the last week. The worst part—I don’t even care. I see the way that Nate looks at Harper, the way they’re constantly touching each other, almost subconsciously, like it’s simple instinct to always be in physical contact, and I want that.
All the reasons why I shouldn’t don’t matter to me anymore. Our age difference. Her innocence. The fact that she’s my little sister’s best friend. Her inexperience with the lifestyle.
It feels like an electric shock goes through me as the realization echoes in my head. I don’t care about her inexperience with the lifestyle. That’s a dangerous way to think. Lilah’s inexperience means she doesn’t know what she likes and doesn’t. And that means that she may very well not want the same things I do.
Am I really okay with that?
As I sit there watching her chat with Harper, I think about that question. What would I be willing to give up for her? What parts of this life are less important to me than a relationship with Lilah? What if she doesn’t like to be fully restrained? What if she doesn’t like it when I use a whip or a paddle? What if her pain limits are far lower than what I’m used to, what I crave?
Would I be willing to give those things up? From our night at The Chambers, I can be reasonably certain that she enjoys light restraint and moderate spanking. She likes it when I take control, when I tell her what to do during sex.During sexy times,I think, smiling at the memory of her adorable term.
She liked everything we did that night, and god knows I did too. It was the most satisfying sexual encounter of my life and I hadn’t even gotten into her pussy yet.
But would that be enough? Could I be satisfied with what we did that night forever, if that’s what she wanted? If that’s what it took to keep Lilah?
I have no idea, and that’s not a sensation I’m at all used to. I’m a decisive person, always have been. I don’t do uncertainty.
So why does it feel like uncertainty is all I have since the night I saw her in the auction?
It takes the others standing up for me to snap out of it.
“Aren’t you coming?” Nate asks. I blink up at him in confusion. “Luke and Rebecca’s scene?”
“Right,” I say hurriedly, jumping up. My old friend gives me a strange look, like he’s not quite sure what to make of me.You and me both, mate,I think as I take Lilah’s hand and follow the others to the steel door.
“You remember all the rules?” I ask her before we step through.
“Yes, sir,” she whispers, and I force my earlier questions away. I may not have any fucking clue what I’m doing, but I know that Lilah calling me sir is the rightest sound in the world.
Luke and Rebecca’s scene is taking place in one of the smaller theaters. There are several people milling around in the hallway outside—a common sight when the two of them perform. They’re a very popular couple here at Wyld and their rare scenes always cause a stir. The interest is intensified by the fact that they keep their audiences small and hand-picked—you need an invitation to get in to one of Luke and Rebecca’s scenes.
As we approach the theater, one of the primary reasons for their insistence on semi-privacy steps right into view. Aden fucking Roth. The same man I saw last weekend at Rendezvous. The same man who bid against me for Lilah. The man who, I’m sure, pressed Victor Leone into taking a hard line on her contract when I requested to take her to bed in private.
He’s giving Lilah an oily smile that makes me want to kill him. The way his eyes drift up and down her body so casually, as if he has a right to it, makes me want to ensure the death is painful.
I nudge her behind me. “Roth.”
“Matthews,” he sneers.
“I wasn’t aware you’re allowed in the building.”
A flash of rage crosses his face before he can cover it with that smarmy smirk of his. “My suspension ended Monday.”
“Pity.”
Anger flashes hot and hard in his eyes. “And what about you?” His gaze goes to Lilah and I have to resist the urge to block her body with mine completely. “Bringing your little whore around? Isn’t that beneath you?”
She stiffens beside me and it’s only the feel of her standing so close that keeps me from reaching out and shoving the bastard against the nearest wall.
“Watch your fucking mouth, Roth.”
He grins. “I don’t think I will, actually. Contrary to what you seem to think, you’re not the lord and master of the entire club. I pay my membership dues just like you.”
I want to point out that he’s currently one infraction from losing his membership entirely, but I refuse to stand here in the hallway arguing with this piece of shit. Glancing over his head, I see Nate standing just outside the theater, watching us with barely controlled anger on his face. There are few people at this club who hate Roth as much as Nate. The longer I stand here entertaining his nonsense, the greater the chance Nate is going to start throwing punches.
