Page 98 of His to Possess
We’re running out of fucking time.
I turn back to the men. “I don’t give a shit what Worthington promised you in terms of investment,” I bark out. “That man is Lilah’s stepfather. He’s been harassing her for years. She had to move out on her own because the creep wouldn’t leave her alone. Are you seriously telling me you’re going to go through with this? You’re going to let him bid on her?”
Both men’s ruddy faces have gone grey. “Do you have proof?” Carl stammers out. “How do we know you’re not just pissed about losing out on the girl?”
“Oh, we have plenty of proof,” Jane says in that same dangerously sweet voice. “We also have proof about the money laundering the two of you and your partner have been up to. The bribes to local politicians to keep quiet about some of the more…unconventional things you do here.” All trace of sweetness has left her face, leaving her to look every bit as dangerous and ruthless as I know her to be. She sneers at them, disgusted. “This club is a dark mark on the entire BDSM community. I have zero qualms about going public with what I know.”
She points a red-taloned finger to the door through which the sham of an auction could be taking place. “I think the press will be particularly interested when they find out you knowingly allowed a young woman to be exploited into sleeping with her stepfather.”
The men don’t look pale anymore. Green is a better description.
“I believe we’re all on the same page,” I say conversationally. “Now open that goddamn door.”
Lilah
Standing on this stage the second time is actually somewhat easier than it was a week ago. Then I had been so afraid I’d nearly passed out.
The fear is still there, I suppose. But it’s buried under such a thick layer of numbness that I can barely feel it.
I just want to get this over with.
I’d been an idiot before. An idiot to think that Philip might save me from my problems like some kind of ridiculous fairytale prince come to life. I know the real world doesn’t work that way. I know men aren’t like that. It was all just a fantasy I’d built up in my head.
Well, the fantasy is stripped away now. And more than anything, I’m just ready to move on with my life.
One night,I tell myself as I follow the auctioneer onto the stage.One night and a shit ton of money. Then you can start over with Chris somewhere far away.
Just like before, the room is dark. I can’t see the crowd with the bright stage lights in my eyes. I’m not wearing the same dress as before. This time, I went with a black leather mini dress. It seemed to fit my mood better.
Last time, though I couldn’t see the men in the crowd, I’d been sure I could hear them. There had been a murmur, some rumblings. Tonight the room is almost eerily silent. I guess because I’m the only virgin participating, the vibe is different.
I try to push the sick feeling that’s growing in my belly back under the protective layer of numbness. I’m going to have sex tonight, with a stranger. And I’m going to have to do it in front of other people. The viewing room, they had called it.
Just the name makes me feel ill. I’d been so stupid to ever envision this going a different way. For one week, I’d let myself believe that my first time would take place with someone who really cared about me. In the comfort of his bed in that penthouse I’d come to love so much. Or maybe at Club Wyld, where I felt safe in expressing my most carnal desires.
But not like this. Not with a stranger. Not with an audience.
Just get it over with,I tell myself, straightening and trying to arrange my expression into something confident as I peer out at the unseen audience.
“As you know, we have a very special product available tonight,” the auctioneer says, and I can’t help the shudder that goes through me.Product. Jesus, Philip was right about this place. They really are the creepiest slime balls in existence.
Don’t think about Philip,I tell myself.Don’t think about the disgusting auctioneer. Don’t think about the men looking at you. Just get through it.
“Sweet Lilah here is twenty-two and is guaranteed to be intact. Only one lucky man will have the pleasure of breaking her in. Let’s start the bidding so we can find out who that will be.”
I clench my fists but force myself to stand still. “Since this is such a desirable—and quite popular—cherry, let’s start the bidding at one hundred thousand dollars.”
“Two hundred,” a voice in the darkness says, and I can’t help but remember the sound of Philip’s voice last week. I hadn’t known it was him, but I could hear how determined the mystery man was.
Why couldn’t you have just followed through that night, Philip?I think to myself, my heart clenching in pain. It would have all been so much easier if we’d just fulfilled the contract then. If I’d never gone home with him. If none of this had ever happened.
But even as I tell myself that, I know it isn’t true. No matter how badly it might hurt right now, I wouldn’t trade the week I spent with Philip for anything. The trip to New York. The easy mornings talking over breakfast. The way he had kissed me like no man ever had before. The things he had showed me about passion and desire. The things he showed me about myself.
Tears well in my eyes and I have to blink rapidly to try to clear them. I’m pretty sure these guys aren’t going to want to spend their money on a pathetic wimp who’s crying up on stage.
But I can’t fight off the pain that rips through my heart, finally banishing that numbness I’ve been wearing as a shield.
I want Philip. IlovePhilip. The fact that he doesn’t feel the same hurts like hell, but it doesn’t change the truth I know in my heart. I’m in love with him. And I don’t want to do this with any other man.
