Page 38 of Between Broomsticks and Beating Wings
“I have.”
“Good,” I said, pausing to take a sip of tea. “Well, whatever you land on, I will fight for you and your desires, whether that’s returning to Midgard with Tove as your spirit companion, or something else. What I want in return is… Well…” I swallowed, not allowing her to see how nervous I truly was. “Your?—”
“You better not say body.”
I snorted a laugh, feeling the tension in my chest ease. “No, seeress. Your body is something to earn, never to barter for.”
Her mouth parted, and her eyes glinted with something unfamiliar before her lips met once more. She said nothing, waiting for me to spit out what I wanted from her, but I was testing her patience as I drew out the silence. I should have thought more about the wording of my request before I’d mentioned the deal, because now, she was staring at me, waiting for an explanation, and I didn’t know how to put what I wanted into words. What I wanted wasn’t some tangible thing she could offer me in trade for my protection; it was a constant effort, an invisible task.
“You know when we first emerged into the light and began our walk? You picked up a handful of samaras and tossed them into the sky with a smile on your face, as if we weren’t on a journey to the underworld. I want more of that. More of that Kari.”
“That’s not something I can turn on or fake,” she said. “But is that truly all you ask of me?”
“I’d know if it was fake anyway,” I said. I knew her body language too well to believe some false mood she was putting on just to appease me. It was the same thing as when she pretended to respect me and my position whenever I reminded her who Iwas. I hadn’t earned her respect, but she’d still pretended to give it to me when I demanded it of her, and somehow, that was more of a slap in the face than nothing at all. “But if you can find it in yourself to trust me, to let down your walls and be the version of you I know you’re hiding, we could have a much better journey ahead of us.”
Kari sat up on the log and set her tea down next to her. “Just like my body, I won’t barter my happiness or trust. I can’t force myself to trust you or want to be out here with you.” Her sentiment sounded unfinished, like there was something else she wanted to say but wasn’t quite sure how. I remained silent and waited, hoping the next word was “but”.
“Though, I will see your point about potential…improved travel conditions,” she finally said, and I couldn’t help but smirk. I nodded to seal the deal before I rose and shook out my legs.
“Well then, I think that’s a start,” I said. “Now, if you excuse me, I’m off to do the thing thatallliving beings do.”
I walked off into the trees before she could say anything else, but I heard a snort of laughter as I went. There was no one like her, no replacement if I couldn’t get her to break her walls for me. The life of a valkyrie could match that of a god. I could die, yes, but not of sickness or age. Only battle could end me. Thousands of years could pass before that day.
My skin grew hot at the knowledge I’d never have a reminder like her again. What kind of life was that? What was the point of living for millennia if you didn’t cherish life itself? Kari understood her life could end any moment, and I honestly didn’t think she’d be particularly devastated if she met that end prematurely. Even so, I fell in love with the way she decided to live years ago.
There’d been a raid in Stormheim, and I’d descended upon the land when the sun bid its farewell. Fire burned in the distance, and not even the wails in the air, nor the tearsof the villagers, could smother it. Helheim and Fólkvangr valkyries were already present, picking the souls they wanted most, leaving the rest behind. Not all souls were taken, though. Sometimes, they stayed on their mortal plane, refusing to believe their time was over.
There was no one worth bringing to Odin that night, and I’d been angered to be the singular valkyrie from my sect sent there while the rest of the house was sent to clean up a far larger skirmish in a distant land.
Mutterings of apologies had caught my attention before I mounted Apple. I’d expected to stumble upon someone holding their slain loved one, like I’d seen so many times, asking for forgiveness for any number of things they may have done. But the woman I’d seen with hair like a rosy sunset wasn’t on her knees. She was standing, face to face with the spirits of her family. She begged for forgiveness for not being there, for going to the market, for not dying with them, but they all remained silent as they watched her. My gut had tightened at their confused stares. I wasn’t sure if her family was disappointed she wasn’t moving on with them, or if they were all stunned into silence. Either way, the tears tracking down her face hit me harder than most. I hadn’t been sure why, but I didn’t want to leave that woman alone.
I’d sat there all night outside her longhouse, watching her cry, watching as the spirits of her family lingered in their home, as if they were still among the living. This wasn’t unusual, but whatwasunusual was the woman’s ability to see them, talk to them, even. I’d watched her interact with them, wondering if she could touch them in their incorporeal states, what her limits were.
Over the following weeks, I discovered all the best gaps in her longhouse, when she took her nightly walks, and how often shehad visitors. One night, I’d heard her screams ring out, and I’d peeked my head into one of the gaps in the walls to let light in.
Kari was tucked into bed, thrashing about with closed eyes.
A nightmare.
Part of me relaxed, knowing her mortal body was safe, but something else within me, the part getting far too curious about this woman, tightened and twisted, knowing her mind was in pain. I’d pushed aside the curtain that covered the gap in the wall, and I’d crept inside. A bluish orange creature had yowled at me, but the feline wouldn’t have been able to tell the woman she’d had an unwelcome visitor in the night, so I carried on. The spirits of her slain family, on the other hand, were still something I’d needed to avoid.
As the woman tossed in her bed, her eyes scanned back and forth, as if she were watching a play within her mind. After a few nights like this one, I’d begun to realize what she was experiencing weren’t mere dreams.
They were visions.
I’d begun finding myself too tempted to sneak back into Stormheim during the day to see how her routine shifted when the sun reined the sky. My interest had begun getting too dangerous, and I was getting sloppy. It didn’t take long for Rayna to catch me, and when she did, I’d received chastising every day for a lunar cycle. She’d also ensured I came back with her to the House of Wings each night. She claimed I couldn’t be trusted on my own. During that time away from my little seeress, I’d begun to itch for her presence, even if she hadn’t known I was the one keeping her company.
Eventually, I’d pulled rank on Rayna and told her to fuck off so I could resume my nightly obsession. She hadn’t taken it well, but she’d listened to me after I’d braided her hair the way I’d used to when she was young and had just been transferred to my sect.
A little yelp pulled my attention back to where Kari and I had set up camp for the night. I left her alone, and I hadn’t even armed her yet.
What was I thinking?
My palm found the hilt of my sword, and I crept through the trees toward the source of danger.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LAND OF BEASTS
