Page 45 of Between Broomsticks and Beating Wings
“Was it the first time someone had managed to damage your armor?” she asked, and I understood the reason behind these questions. She didn’t just want to know how I got the mark. She wanted to know why I’d kept it.
“You don’t live as long as me and fight as much as me without acquiring damage to your armor along the way. We have dwarves living on Asgard, like Nori, who mend our gear, be it weapons or armor,” I said. “The reason I didn’t have it mended, well…”
Gods, why is this so difficult?
Kari stared at me with her big blue eyes, and I couldn’t tell anymore what she wanted. Would she run when I told her the truth? Grab my hand in understanding? I had no clue, and the ale-induced haze around her was starting to play tricks on my mind. Was she smiling at me? Or was that just my desire?
“It reminds me of you.”
“Of me?” Kari’s hand found her chest, and she held it there as if to stabilize herself.
Is that a look of horror?
She hiccupped, then laughed, then said, “Rune, why do you need a reminder of me? I’m always around you.”
Not horror.
Relief spilled through me, and I let out a long exhale as I watched her. She stared at the groove, and I wondered if she thought I was being ridiculous, or if a small part of her was flattered.
“Can I touch it?” she asked.
“Touch it?”
Kari bit her lip and nodded. She tapped the hand closest to me on the table, already impatient for my permission.
“You may.”
Kari leaned across the table, her hand inching forward. I couldn't feel as her fingers traced my armor, but I was acutely aware of the sensitive skin that lay beneath, the same skin that craved to be shed of layers of leather and metal, to be touched by warm flesh and curious hands.
I tried not to hold my breath, but her hand lingered far longer than I ever expected. Was I expected to say something? Even if I believed I should, that didn’t mean I was capable of forming speech.
“Why do you want to be reminded of me, Rune? I’m right here,” she whispered. “Are you expecting me to leave?”
“I hope not,” I confessed. “But I always want to remember the oaths I broke for you, because that day fundamentally changed me.Youchanged me.”
Kari tucked her chin inward, her eyes cast down before dragging them back up to meet mine. A small smile played at the corner of her mouth, and nine realms, did honesty feel good. She wasn’t screaming at me or storming away; she was fucking smiling, and that smile was directed toward me, of all people.
“I don’t see how I could’ve done that,” she said. “Maybe breaking your oaths did, but not me.”
“Yes, you. You make me yearn for something different than what I have, and I don’t know if I love that or hate that about you. I suppose I haven’t been content for a long time now, but you have both been the bandage on that pain and the source of it.”
“How have I been the source?” she asked “Wait, no, how have I been a bandage? It could be the ale, but I don’t understand you, Rune Dragomir.”
“Iris Ariti,” I said.
“Is that…your real name?”
“It is. I haven’t spoken it in decades, but I wanted you to know it. It's not something we’re supposed to share with our sisters. Anything that pulls us back to our past lives, our ‘dead lives’, is not to be discussed.”
“I-I don’t like that,” Kari stuttered, her eyes watery, seemingly from the ale working its way through her. I would never assume she’d get emotional on my behalf, but shewastwo and a half horns deep into dwarven ale, and, well, her mortal body was surely feeling the effects.
I should probably slow her down before she forgets everything I tell her and we have to have this conversation all over again,I thought to myself, eyeing her mug.
“You shouldn’t have to hide who you were before Odin made you into what he wanted you to be. You and your sisters were all people before him and Valhalla. You had lives, mortal lives, families, lovers. He can’t just take that away overnight.”
I chuckled, casually sliding her mug to the side in a way I hoped she wouldn’t notice. “No lovers, and the family was questionable, but I certainly had a life, one that didn’t include plans to be a valkyrie. But it happened one day, nonetheless, granted by a god ruling a distant land and people who were not my own.”
When Kari went to take another swig, her hand fell onto an empty spot on the table. She looked down, frowned, then glanced around for her missing drink. When she looked up, she wobbled on the stool, and I shot forward to grab her arm so I didn’t lose her to the sticky floor.
