Page 57 of Between Broomsticks and Beating Wings
“You know how she is with ghosts,” Rune said before blowing air through her first two fingers to get Apple’s attention.
“But I was always her exception. She played with me, after all.”
“Well, now it doesn’t matter, because you’re nice and solid.” Rune pushed Haddy in the shoulder so hard, my sister fell into the snow. My mouth popped open, but Haddy simply laughed and told Rune she was going to get her back. I guess my mouth was still hanging open when they both faced me, because Haddy’s head was cocked, a subtle smirk over Rune’s lips.
“It’s okay, Kar.” Haddy reached for one of my hands, her tone soft. “She won’t hurt me, or you. You don’t need to be scared.”
“I’m not scared.” I shook my head.
“Are you mad at me?” she whispered. “For asking Rune not to tell you I knew she was…spending time near the longhouse?”
“Spending time near the longhouse?” I scoffed. “You mean watching me?”
“Well…” Haddy shrugged. “She never did tell me what she was up to, did you?” Haddy asked Rune.
Rune blew out stale air and looked between the two of us. “No.”
The sound of Apple’s wings beating above us broke the tension. She hovered for a second, making sure Tove was out of the way, then landed several feet left of us. Haddy squeezed my hand and backed away from me, still not facing Apple, though I knew she wanted to. She wanted to make sure my face softened, that I wasn’t mad. She always hated when I was anything but happy. Was I seriously going to waste the little time I had with her by holding on to old weight?
I offered her a small smile and pointed my chin to Apple, signifying I was fine. I wanted her to enjoy Apple’s company. I wanted her to ride upon her back and do wonderful things shewas never able to do in her mortal life. It made me believe that being in Helheim wasn’t all that bad for her. I wanted to believe this place could offer her everything she needed and more.
As Haddy ran her hands down Apple’s mane, Rune shot me a glance. How could one look be so loaded? It held questions I didn’t have the answer to, ones I wasn’t ready to admit I already had.
I let my rigid shoulders fall, releasing my fears and hesitancies for once. I was tired of maintaining my walls, and if Rune was shedding her armor and showing me what was beneath it, maybe it was safe to start doing the same. She’d seen me vulnerable on more than one occasion, and I’d beaten myself up afterward for being too open, for letting her see me for who I really am. Being reunited with Haddy made me realize I was tired of not being seen, of not being known. Maybe, just maybe, I'd give this valkyrie what she’d been craving for years now.
Maybe, I’d give her…me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
GREAT HUGS BY THE GREAT HEARTH
Rune
Kari and Haddy flew on Apple back to Hel’s Hall while Tove and I walked through the snowy landscape. The reintroduction went well, all things considered, but I thought about the odd expression Kari wore right before Apple took off with her on her back.
A gust of breeze brushed my hair across my forehead, and its cool touch reminded me of a spirit right after being separated from its body. I craved that sensation and the high that accompanied growing my collection of souls. My tongue ran over my teeth, as if hungry for that type of hunt.
As I stared out at the mountainous expanse, seeing souls littering the area, I wondered which of them I’d passed up. Which of these mortals had I watched the final moments of and decided against taking to Valhalla?
I’d never worked at the Helheim sect, but I imagine the job was vastly different than what I’d been trained to do. Here, it didn’t matter if you were a viking. It didn’t matter if your death was glorious. All you had to do was not drown in the seaand not be a horrible person. There were other halls for those individuals, ones valkyries never saw.
In my early days, I took far too many souls, loving the feeling of them buzzing through me. It was hard to forget those nights, and even so, the number of souls I collected on my least picky nights couldn’t come close to the number the Helheim sect took each night. I presumed they were high every time the sun hid from the sky, losing their minds in pure intoxication, just so these souls could find their eternal peace.
When I glanced around at the happy families, I wondered if a fate such as theirs would be all so bad. I thought of Kari’s family that I was on my way to meet. Once we left Helheim, the next time Kari saw her family again, she should be older than her mother. She should have more grey hair, don wrinkles on her hands and under her beautiful eyes. I would give anything for that future, a future in which she lived.
I’d been in the underworld long enough to know living wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and only in death could you find happiness. But what I thought was irrelevant, because if Kari wanted to grow old, I would find a way to make that happen.
As I took my first step into Hel’s Hall, I shook the snowflakes from my hair and rubbed my hands together. The warmth of her castle instantly found me, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I regained feeling in my fingers and toes. If I had known we were going to stay in Helheim for almost an entire lunar cycle, I would have packed different clothes. Sure, there were some in the wardrobe back in our bedchamber, but the only thing that fit over my thighs were the dresses, and they would hardly do.
“Rune!” Haddy called out, waving me over to where she sat next to Kari. She stood, leaving her empty seat for me, finding a place on a fur rug next to the hearth. No fire roared in the stone opening, but false orange tendrils did lick up the sides. The spirits couldn’t feel the difference between a fake flameand a real one anyway. It was more about the comfort of familiarity over anything else. Even though the residents could eat, fuck, sleep, bathe, the one thing they couldn’t do was feel temperature.
I shot Haddy a smile and then took my seat next to Kari. She was draped in furs, and when I took my place, she shifted so she could share, covering my lap. The hide was warm from her heat, and it sent prickles up my arms, thinking of a future robbed of the sensation she gave me. My skin was too covered for her to see the effect that gesture had had on me, but when she gazed down at my lap, I had a feeling she didn’t need to see my pimpled flesh to know.
“And who is this?” a gruff voice called out, and I lifted my gaze to the man sitting across from me.
Kettle Ulfson.
Kari’s father was a large man with a thick, red beard. He wore a permanent scowl and had deep grooves running parallel across his forehead to prove it.
