Page 107 of Infatuated as They Come
“The one she wears every day? The one she had on when she left?”
“She never used to have such bad taste,” he said, taking a step closer to me. “You still don’t belong with her. With this family. In this house, in this neighborhood. You’ve got her living in some crummy little apartment when she could be living somewhere better. That girl’s giving up a penthouse worth millions for you. Don’t you feel bad?”
More than he realized, but I didn’t want him to know that. “Look, I know you’re still not happy with me and Holly being together. I get it. You’re not good at hiding it. You’re never gonna like me, so what do you want me to do?”
“You could leave her alone already,” he said casually. “She could be living the life she deserves, and instead she’s making all kinds of sacrifices for you. All you’ve given her is a downgrade.”
“Holly loves me whether you like it or not and I love her too. I love her with everything in me. With every last bit of me. Whatever guy you’re imagining for her will never love her as much as I do. I know I can’t give her everything.” I loosened my tie a tiny bit becauseChrist, was Holly’s house suffocating. “I’m aware of that. You remind me of that every time you look at me, but every time I look at her, it’s like it doesn’t matter.”
He stayed quiet, those words feeling like they were echoing there between us. Me loving his daughter with my whole damn heart wasn’t enough, though, and one little speech wasn’t going to change that fact.
“You don’t belong with her,” he finally said.
“Yeah, you keep saying that.”
“I just want the point to sink in. That all the fancy dinners at the fancy restaurants in your cheap suit will never be good enough for my daughter. Very soon, she’s going to wake up and want more than drives around townand picnics and flowers from the grocery store. And then you know where you’ll be?” He pointed a finger at me. “You’ll be right back at that trailer park where you belong. Where you should be right now. Where you’ll feel comfortable and at ease in the environment you’re so used to. Wouldn’t you rather be back in that trailer instead of inside a home that you’ll never, ever feel right in? I mean, you’re never gonna have it, and you’re never gonna be able to give it to Holly, either.”
“I already know I’m never gonna get a place like this.” I shrugged. “I don’twanta place like this. I just wanna make Holly happy. I just wanna love her for the rest of my life. I know you think that’s not enough, but she doesn’t.”
“You’re still working as a mechanic.” He laughed. “You’re still dirt poor, son. I already know you can’t give her everything. Can you give heranything?”
“Okay, this is fuckin’ dumb.” I moved past him and headed for the front door. “I’m leaving.”
“I suppose it’ll be less embarrassing for Holly if you don’t show up together.”
“Yeah, I suppose so.”
“You’ll always be the person you were born to be, Sawyer,” he called out. “The poor boy who grew up with nothing? You’ll always be that. You and I both know it too. I’m just waiting for Holly to wake up and realize it. Hopefully it’ll be soon.”
I pressed my lips together tightly and slammed the door shut behind me, anger pumping through me as I moved down the stairs. He was too good at getting under my skin, at making me question myself and what I could give Holly.And what I couldn’t give her either. He was right about me feeling uneasy inside their home. Hell, driving into Highland Park always made me feel like I was entering a place I had no right stepping foot in.
My hands gripped the steering wheel tight when I got into the truck, driving out of Holly’s fancy gated community before I made my way to the end of the road. That place was suffocating. It had been chipping away at me since walking through the door, and I just needed a bit of escape. I needed normal people with normal jobs and normal sized houses. I neededchipped paint and worn out furniture and TVs that didn’t work. Goddamn, I needed the trailer park.
There was still some time to kill before my dinner with Holly, before I had to meet up with her at the country club. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. That was yet another place where I wouldn’t belong, and I just needed a few minutes where I wasn’t in some too perfect, too pristine house and neighborhood.
So I kept driving until I was past the long stretch of mansions and the private school Holly used to go to and the big ass mall with all the fancy stores. I kept going until I got to Cedar Crest, and finally, I felt relief hit me as I pulled up into Mills Mobile Home Park. It looked exactly the same as when I left and I felt pure familiarity washing over me as I got out of the truck. Everyone here was exactly like me. Struggling to get by, trying to make ends meet, and as Holly’s dad had put it—dirt fucking poor.
I pushed my hands through my hair the further I moved around the place. I missed Earl. I missed the washing machines that rattled loudly when you used them and my TV that had a shitty picture. I missed feeling like I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t, because while I had been waiting my whole life to get out of this place and findsomething, it seemed like I wasn’t ready to have whatever that was.
Memories of that fight with Holly before she left hit me. I hated that I had barely seen her since moving to New York, that things were so different, that I had been spending so much of my time busy with work, and just when things got better, I was always at the damn studio.
“Sawyer?” I heard a soft voice say behind me. I turned to see Summer standing there, a yellow tennis racket in hand. She ran up to me, her little arms wrapping around my legs.
“Hey.” I laughed, patting the back of her head. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”
“Me and Caleb were playing tennis.” She took a step back and waved the plastic racket at me. “Mom got us tennis rackets. It’s our early Christmas present. Look!”
She shoved the racket my way and I raised my eyebrows at it. “Impressive.You’re playing with your brother?”
“He lost the ball behind the trees. The ones behind the office.”
“You guys know better than to go back there,” I muttered as I grabbed her hand. The little space near the office was stacked with long, overgrown grass and tall trees and the occasional snake that knew exactly how to sneak up on you. “Let’s go find him before he hurts himself. Where’s your mom?”
She jumped up and down. “Putting stuff in the washing machine.”
“And she probably told you to play near the washing building.”
“We were, but then Mom didn’t have enough change for the washing machine and had to go back home to get some, and then she told us to stay there, and then Caleb hit the ball really far, and then it got lost.”
