Page 118 of Infatuated as They Come
“Hey, sweetie. Merry Christmas,” she said, moving into my room.
“Merry Christmas.”
“How are you feeling?” She took a seat next to me on the bed, one hand on my knee.
“My head hurts a lot.”
Mom hummed, smoothing a gentle hand across my hair. “I’ll get you something for that, and if you feel up for it, we can have some breakfast. Are you hungry? You should eat. We can make waffles like we always do.”
“Um, yeah. Okay. Is Daddy awake?”
“He is.”
“And Sawyer?”
Mom sighed. “You don’t remember what happened last night?”
My cheeks felt all flushed suddenly. “I remember. I had too much to drink. You know I don’t normally do stuff like that. I get it if you’re mad at me.”
“Darling, I’m not mad.” She kept stroking at my hair. “Of course not. I know you didn’t want to do it.”
“I was just really upset,” I said, fingers clinging to the edge of my bed. “I miss him so much, Mom. I mean, we’relivingtogetherand I still miss him. I feel like I don’t even know what’s going on in his life anymore.”
“This isn’t your fault,” Mom said, voice suddenly uncharacteristically sharp. “You have nothing to do with this.”
Turning to face her, I frowned at her words. “He’s always looking afterme. Working long hours, long shifts. He’s focusing on his art too, and I’m so happy that he finally gets to do something that he loves. How can I be sad about it? How can I miss him when he’s finally doing something for himself? He’s never had the chance to do anything like this. I’m being so selfish.”
“Holly, I know you might be feeling guilty and sad and confused, but…” She stared right at me, her body rigid, not looking at all relaxed like she usually did. “Look, we need to talk about Sawyer. About what he did.”
I gave my head a slow shake. “What do you mean?”
“You might not be too comfortable talking to your father about this,” Mom said, her fingers gentle as they brushed at my hair, “so you and me are going to have to have this conversation before we get him in here.”
“… I don’t understand.”
“I need to know what’s been going on with you and Sawyer.”
“I just told you.”
“You know I’ve never judged him for the things he can’t control. You know I don’t care about where he’s from and what he has or doesn’t have. I’ve always supported the two of you, but… I need you to be honest with me. You can trust me. You can tell me anything.”
My eyes scanned my room like that would give me answers before they finally landed back on her. “I’m so confused right now.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me things that might make you scared,” she whispered, pressing a hand to her chest.
“I don’t feel like that.”
“I want you to always trust me.”
“Mom, I do. What’s going on?”
“Does he hurt you?” she asked quietly. So quietly I barely heard it. “If he does, you can tell me. It’s okay. We’ll help you. We’ll make sure you’re safe. You can take time off school and come back and live with us for as long as you want.”
I blinked at her. “What are you talking about?”
She shuffled in closer. “You don’t have to lie for him.”
“Lie about what? I don’t even understand what’s going on right now.” Myhand flew to my chest, because the necklace Sawyer got me always brought me an instant rush of comfort, but I frowned when all I felt was the material of my dress. “Where’s my necklace?”
