Page 64 of Infatuated as They Come
“I mean, yeah,” I said lowly. “I guess.”
“Can we just try it for a few weeks or something and just test it out? Ifyou really hate it, then you can say goodbye to it. But what if you love it? And there’s only one way to find out if you’ll love it…” She stood in front of me, Bambi eyes blinking up at me. “Please just try it. Just for a little while. Please, Sawyer.”
I groaned when she said my name in that sweet voice. She knew all my soft spots, and my softest one was for her. “Holly…”
“Please, please, please.”
“Maybe…” I paused for a moment. “Maybe we’ll try it for a month or two. But just that, just trying it out. I’ll do it for you if it’ll make you happy.”
She squealed, the noise bright and cheerful as she threw her arms around me. “This is gonna be so good for you!”
My hands circled around her and I squeezed at her, her body all warm and soft. I wasn’t supposed to be taking risks. Risks were for people with money and safety nets and back-up plans. Not for poor guys with rich girlfriends. But that fantasy she had come up with sounded so damn good: an actual studio to work in, a space that wasn’t cramped, my paintings—my work—hung up on the walls of a gallery.
Saying yes was a risk. But saying yes also meant I got to have something I never thought I’d ever have. And if I got to see my girl smiling and happy in the process, then a leap was absolutely worth it.
Chapter 13
Sawyer
The feeling of Holly’s body on mine was the best way to fall asleep and wake up.
She was a cuddler, always so touchy feely, and every night I was lucky enough to feel her lay her head on my chest while I kept an arm around her. It was just as good seeing her pretty face first thing when I woke up. Just the sight of her alone always made me want to stay in bed with her for the rest of the day, and right there in that moment as I looked at her sleeping face, I was aching to do that. And then I heard my dad’s words. That stuff about Mom.There’s no future with a poor man. God, she probably hadn’t even said that shit, but I couldn’t stop hanging on to it.
Instead of staying there with Holly asleep on my chest, I had to pull myself away from her so I could get ready for work. I felt her stirring and I stiffened as I sat next to her, hoping I hadn’t woken her up. Her eyes thankfully stayed shut.
It was so easy to get lost in staring at her, because the second I did, I kept imagining a future where it was just her, her, her. No one but her. Her in my arms when we went to bed and her in my arms when we woke up. Her smile and her laugh and her eyes. Her pretty voice and gentle touch and blushing cheeks. Her in our home—wherever that would be, either here or in Texas or somewhere far, far away—and me coming back to her after a tiring day, because when I finally got to set my sights on her after being gone for so long, I always instantly felt that same buzzing feeling in mychest.
I felt my heart stop as that last thought suddenly went all grey and distorted. For a split second, Holly was gone. She wasn’t there, she wasn’t anywhere, she wasn’t in our made up home, she wasn’t in my life and neither was my mom and I hated that the warm feeling I got when I looked at Holly was suddenly replaced with something I always tried not to feel.
Those words were repeating over and over again in my head before I could stop them.She’s gonna leave, she’s gonna leave, she’s gonna leave. I couldn’t let the same thing happen. I wasn’t going to let history repeat itself.
Slowly and carefully, I slinked out of the bed as quietly as I could. I had slept without waking up for a single minute, but I could still feel that sluggish tiredness wash over my body the second I stood up. My arms and legs and back were sore, but I pushed that away as I looked down at a still sleeping Holly. One of the sleeves of her shirt had ridden up and I gently pulled it down her arm so she’d stay nice and warm. I hated leaving her so early, especially without even saying a word to her, but she needed her sleep too. So, I made sure she was tucked under the blankets and left as quietly as I could.
Sitting there in the kitchen, I ate some of the fancy bread Holly brought home yesterday, my eyes widening when I saw the receipt that had been stuffed into the white paper bag it came in. Fifteen fucking dollars? She must have gone to some fancy bakery. I bit into a slice and it tasted exactly like every other cheap grocery store bread I had always eaten.
The sun was just barely starting to creep in through the windows, which meant it was time to leave soon. I got dressed before grabbing a piece of paper and pressing it to the fridge, a pen in my other hand as I made a messy little drawing of Holly in the aisle of a grocery store before writing a short note underneath it.
They sell bread at the store too. I’m gonna teach you to stop getting swindled all the time. Love you and can’t wait to see you tonight.
I used one of her little heart magnets to keep it secured to the fridge, wishing I could do more than leave her some dumb note.
When I got to work, it was just me and Jay and Lex there, with Lex looking like he was about to fall asleep any second as he slumped himself across the front desk. I could relate. He spotted me first, giving me a lazy attempt at a wave.
“Hey, man,” he grumbled, dark hair all in his eyes. “My uncle’s got you here early as well? Sucks, right?”
“Do you see him complaining?” Jay answered before I could, eyes on the computer in front of him. “It’s called having good work ethic.”
“Whatever,” Lex said. “All I know is that I’m having a nap in one of the cars later.”
“Yeah, I need one too,” I said, leaning up against the desk.
“Don’t let my nephew rub off on you.” Jay nodded to Lex. “We’re gonna be really busy for the next week. Especially today.”
I raised my brows at him. “Great. What happened?”
“There’s a Honda with oil in the brake system,” Jay said. “I’m real worried about the rubber seals. I’m gonna need you to get on that straight away before there’s any damage to the system. I’d get Lex to do it but I’m scared he’s gonna fall asleep on me…”
“I had a long night.” Lex’s head was still on the counter as he spoke. “I need coffee. I need a new job; I hate it here.”
