Page 78 of Love Me Back
Who would have thought a horse would need a self-defense alibi? The reality was, Grayson needed the self-defense alibi, as he was the owner and trainer.
Apparently, Nebraska had some pretty strict laws to protect people who were injured by farm animals. The sheriff could have ordered Thunder to be put down, but given Grayson’s standing in the community and in the equine world, the sheriff went easy on him.
I didn’t think Grayson would have survived having to put down his horse. The horse that helped Grayson keep the connection to his mother. Especially because the man Thunder killed was responsible for Mary Powell’s death.
The sheriff had also mentioned that he didn’t think David was behind the deaths of the women found on the ranch. He said the MO didn’t make sense. David’s motivation had been money, not sex. No one mentioned the tunnels.
After the sheriff left, Grayson and I went back out to the barn and put Thunder in his stall. I stared at the floor and asked, “What about the tunnels?”
“What about them?”
“Aren’t you curious?” I asked, my eyes fixed on Grayson.
“I am. But it’s not like I can go down there and roam around in a wheelchair,” he said as he turned away and rolled toward the doors.
“Maybe when you are walking again.”
“Maybe,” he sighed.
“Hey.” I grabbed the handles on the back of the chair. “Talk to me.”
“What can I say, Jessie?” Grayson rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. “I don’t know what the hell I’m feeling right now. I had an uncle I never knew about, who was responsible not only for putting me in this chair but also for the death of my parents? How am I supposed to feel?”
“There is no answer to that. You feel what you feel. Look, Grayson, I am not the best with feelings. I am terrible with most social cues. My answer to someone telling me how I should feel is‘fuck you’,so I am the last person who should be giving you advice, but I will tell you what Ellie always tells me. Whatever your feelings are, they’re yours. No one gets to tell you that you’re wrong for having them. So what are you feeling that you think is wrong?”
“I’m glad he’s fucking dead. I’m glad that we don’t have to go through all the shit that comes with being arrested, the trial, the questions, the lack of sufficient answers. The strain it would put on Pops, thinking he has to be there to watch it all. I feel nothing for David Johnson. We might share DNA, but he was nothing to me. Nothing to my brothers and Addie. He was just a man who made our lives hell.”
I smiled at him. Grayson was such a loving person, I knew he was struggling with what he considered a lack of empathy. But the truth was, we didn’t owe people empathy simply because they shared the same earth we did.
We weren’t required to feel bad for people because they made the wrong choices in life. This world was filled with opportunities. They might be hard work sometimes, but that made them all the more sweet once we’d accomplished what we set out to do.
I climbed onto his lap and said, “I love you. I am sorry you lost your parents. I wish I could have met them. But I’m not sorry you got hurt.”
“What?”
“Hear me out. I was stupid, Grayson. I knew from the first day I met you on that stupid mountain that you were the one for me. But I was so afraid of you finding out who my family was that I ran from you every chance I could. I was in the hospital on the day you came in. Ellie had just had her baby when Tyson called King. Nothing would have stopped me from getting to your room. And when you told me to go, my heart split in half, and I thought, ‘well this is it, Jessie. You lost your chance. He finally gave up.’When Addie asked me to come and help, I almost said no. In fact, I did say no, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.
“What I’m trying to say is that without your accident, I never would have gotten my head out of my ass. And if you never walk again, I will still love you with everything I have.”
“I love you, too.” His hand wrapped around the back of my head, and he pulled me down to kiss me. I felt it all in that kiss and more. Especially when my body jumped as his leg bounced under me.
I sat up quickly and looked at his feet. “What the fuck was that?”
Grayson chuckled and held me tightly. “I wasn’t going to say anything until after the doctor’s appointment this week, but I started getting some feeling back just before we found Thunder.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”
“You mean you didn’t want to get your hopes up,” I argued.
“Maybe.” He shrugged. “I know it’s not a guarantee, but I am going to do whatever I have to do to be standing at the end of the aisle when I watch you walk toward me.”
“You’re assuming I’ll say yes when you ask me.”
“Addie’s not the only one who won’t take no for an answer.”
I smiled at Grayson and dipped my head to kiss his lips. “Best fear I ever overcame!”
