Page 54 of Love Me Back
“Are you asking me if I see him differently?” Hudson was quiet, as if he didn’t want to put the real question out there. “I don’t see him differently. I mean physically, I see him differently; I don’t get a stiff neck looking at him anymore. But his ability towalk has no bearing on him as a person. He’s still Grayson.”
“Sometimes people see you as a different person after a tragedy.”
“Those people need a swift kick in the ass.” I felt him stiffen beneath my arms.
“Trauma affects everyone differently. Some people lose who they are in grief, and they blame the people closest to them.”
“Sounds like you have some experience with that.” He shrugged. “If you need someone to talk to. Someone who’ll listen. I’m here, Hudson. I can’t give you any advice. I suck at that. I’m too blunt. Most people think I don’t know how to be empathetic. But I know how to listen. Sometimes it helps just to have someone there to hear your pain.”
“Thanks, Jessie. I’ll keep that in mind.”
I hugged him. I’d learned enough from Ellie to know that sometimes a hug helped. He patted my hands that covered his stomach.
“There he is.” Hudson held up his hand, letting the others know to stop. I peeked over his shoulder and saw Thunder standing about fifty feet away eating some grass.
“How do I get down?” Emerson helped put me up here after Hudson sat in the saddle. There was absolutely no way I could get down on my own.
“Just hold tight.” Hudson swung his leg over the horse’s neck and landed on the ground with a thump. He lifted his arms up to me, and I stared at him.
I leaned toward him, and he smiled. “Swing your leg over first, Jessie. Like I did.”
“I’ll fall.”
“You won’t fall; I’ll catch you. Trust me.”
I looked into his eyes and found that I did trust him. Hudson, Emerson, and Addie had been nothing but friendly and accepting of me being at the house to help Grayson. Tyson was withdrawn, but Carson and Pops also seemed to be ok with my presence in the house.
I swung my leg over, and just as I expected, I slid off the horse,and had it not been for Hudson catching me, I would have hit the ground and landed on my ass.
Hudson held me up until I was steady on my legs. It hadn’t been easy, but I conquered a fear today. Ellie would be so proud of me. After she was done threatening my life for doing something stupid.
“You have the sugar cubes?”
I patted my pants pocket and nodded. Looking over my shoulder, Thunder was now watching us. His ears flickered as he watched me walk slowly toward him.
Our eyes were locked on each other until I was about ten feet away, then he snorted and stomped his hoof.
“Hey, big guy, no need to be mad. I’m here to help you get home.” I took a few tentative steps closer as I dug the sugar from my pocket.
I held my hand out flat the way Grayson showed me. Thunder took a few steps closer and sniffed the sugar. He shook his head and snorted before taking a few steps back.
“What’s the problem? You watching your weight? Grayson said you love sugar cubes.”
At the mention of Grayson’s name, the horse neighed loudly and danced around. His giant head snapped up, and his ears twitched. He moved beside me and bumped me with his body. I dropped the sugar and placed my hands against his belly.
“Hey, watch it.” I tried to push him back, but he kept pushing me back in the direction of Hudson.
“You okay, Jessie?”
“Not sure. This big lug doesn’t seem to want the sugar, but he’s moving at least.” I kept my hand on his belly as we walked closer to Hudson. Thunder looked around, and I could feel his muscles ripple under my hand. I didn’t know much about horses, but he seemed nervous.
“Hudson?”
“Yeah, Jessie?”
“You see anything? Any bears or mountain lions or anything?”
“No, why?”
