Page 120 of Thick as Thieves
That tension broken, we all start crying, hugging and kissing each other in comfort. And even though he’s not really conscious, nobody leaves, the entire family deciding to hang around longer to ensure we see him before we go.
The doctors allow us to see him in twos. Tarron goes in with James first. They seem to be in there an age, finally coming out with their arms around each other. I’m not sure who is supporting whom. But James pulls Tarron in for a kiss and I see Tarron’s swollen eyes. He takes a moment, closing and opening them, and I distinguish a look of calmness, a sense of ease under all the upset.
When I go in with Evie, I hear her try to stifle a cry. He’s hooked up to so much machinery, and looks pale under his tan. We go to either side of his bed. I stand and stare at him, never have I seen him so motionless. He hardly sleeps, so it’s truly rare to see him like this.
She’s stroking his hair, his face, tracing her fingers along his brow. Telling him she’ll be here for him, she’ll bring the twins. Telling him they miss him, they’ll look for him in the morning. Tears roll silently down my cheeks as she talks of the family life we nearly threw away. And for what? My fear? My ego? Nothing of any consequence. Not compared to that.
Evie leans forwards and kisses his lips, telling him she’ll come tomorrow, then stands and looks over at me. I lean forwards and kiss his cheek. “Come back to us, Xander. Get some rest now and I’ll be here tomorrow.” I stand straight and run my hands through my hair.
She comes round to my side of the bed and threads her small hands into my larger ones. “Let’s go home, Kellen. We can come again first thing. It’s not many hours away now.” I look down at her, strength and love pouring from her, her face fixed with a steely determination.
I smile to myself. It won’t be lack of love or effort that stops Xander from coming back to us. She’ll will him back to full fitness, and he better get ready for it.
57
Evie
London
We’re stoodin the hallway just outside the waiting room. It feels like a rugby scrum, and I’m the ball. Everyone is pressing into me. My gravitational pull, that my brothers often talk about, must be at extreme maximum. I can see everyone wants to stay close, but they’re trying desperately not to cling. They’re like planets and I am the sun. They keep drifting away and then floating back towards me. None of them know they’re doing it. Except Jonno, who keeps smirking when one or another person comes back towards me, touching me, checking in unconsciously, then moves off to allow the next one to feel my warmth and love.
I realise I'm consciously pushing it out there, pulsing out the love, keeping them all safe. I want them all with me, but I know fitting everyone in the house will be like a jigsaw puzzle. I need Mick, Tommy, and Jase’s help. The three men I know could catch scotch mist and bottle it if needs be.
I signal to Tommy and he drifts towards me. I whisper in his ear that I want as many people at my apartments in the docklands as possible. Everyone is to be accommodated. No one is to be left out.
He grins, shaking his head at me. “I got this, Kiddo.”
Liaising with Mick and Jase, they walk around everyone, adding names to lists, making the puzzle pieces fit like gloves.
I can see Kell’s not sure about where he’s going to fit in. He’s still not sure if I want him with me, or if I’m still a little mad at him. He’s watching Mick with his phone lists, so I go across to him and gently confirm, “I’ve asked Mick, Tommy, and Jase to sort out taking everyone with us home to Docklands. Is that okay that everyone is with us?” I smile up at him, silently reassuring him that we’re okay. It’s all going to be okay. “We can fit most in the apartment and next door. You do rent the other building, you know.” I gaze into his eyes and see immeasurable relief.
He nods at Mick, who immediately comes across to us. “We’re sorted Evie, everyone’s coming. I haven’t asked Tarron yet, I’m not sure what he’s doing.” Kell looks across at his father-in-law.
“Tarron, are you coming home with us, or do you prefer to go to your home? We can drop you off if you do.” He pauses, then adds. “But I’d love for you to be with us all tonight.” His face shows how much he loves the older man.
Tarron looks so happy as he joins us. Looking into my face. “I’d love to come. Is that okay, Evie? I know I have a London home, but I would rather be with my family today. We can coordinate schedules.”
I smile and pull him to me. “I would love to have you. Plus, I have photos for you.” I wink at him and he’s speechless for a second.
“Photos of my granddaughter?”
“Who told you it was a girl?” Kellen asks. Surprised delight crows in his voice. His face lights up as he contemplates the delightful addition to the very male dominated family. “I didn’t even know that. A girl, no way. Fantastic.”
“Oh, it’s definitely a girl, isn’t it, Evie?” Himself looks at me in a very knowing way. “You’ve already seen her,” he whispers into my ear.
Oh my God.He’s right, I have. The little girl I saw in Scotland, when I thought I was dreaming. My body is covered in goosebumps, and I stare up at him, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. Tears come to my eyes and spill onto my face.
“Don’t cry, my daughter, we will all be looked after.” He winks at me and moves off to get into a vehicle.
We arrive at my buildings at the Docklands, the old factory welcoming me home. I can feel all the buildings shouting at me. Calming me down. Tommy has everyone on his list and, with the aid of Mick, makes short work of getting everyone set up. Clearly they’re used to dealing with lots of unruly people.
Bug has gone back to Devon to help Orla with his boys and mine. I kiss my big sons good night and head into the bedroom to find my husband staring down into the empty cribs. His eyes are tightly shut and he’s inhaling deeply.
“I’m taking Xander one of their body suits tomorrow. He slept with their and your pillows for weeks.” He doesn’t tell me to upset me, he’s just thinking aloud. He turns, then finally thinks about what he’s saying. “I’m sorry, Kitten. I didn’t say that to make you feel bad, it was just…” His face is tormented and he looks down into the empty cots.
I touch his arm. “I know, I missed you both,” I tell him. “Come get a shower and into bed.”
I think about the other times he was here, in my bed and in my shower, when we first got married. He looks at me and grins, clearly so is he.
