Page 122 of Thick as Thieves
He buries his head into my neck, taking in my scent, and his voice drops so low. “When Mick read that note and text out, every word cut into my skin. I have fucking scars from those words. And it was all self-inflicted. I never want to cause you so much pain ever again. I could not bear to hear it or watch it, knowing that you felt like that. The pain I caused you and Xan.”
His head remains in my neck, as if he’s hiding. “Xander was traumatised. He couldn’t cope thinking he had contributed to your heartbreak.”
I twist my head to look at him, his green gaze holding mine. “I know how you felt, as I felt it too. I forgive you both. And I want to move on. This baby is for all of us.”
He looks down at my slightly swollen stomach between us. His hands caress the skin there. It’s a touch full of love.
We lay together for an age. Touching, reconnecting. Allowing the threads to tie us back together again.
We wake earlyin the morning, refreshed and ready for the day. Kell is on his phone before we’ve even left the bed. “Who are you calling at this hour?” I question him.
“I’m not ringing anyone. I’m researching all the best sex positions for pregnancy. I need to be prepared to cater to every whim.” He smirks at me, waggling his eyebrows.
“But, I’m also texting Tim, telling him I can’t go away again. He’ll have to sort out any business in America. I’ve got business of my own to sort out at home. If I say I’ve got to go, don’t let me. Tell me no. Remind me about your hormones.” He’s starting to laugh.
I smile shyly into the pillow, and shake my head at him. He’s crazy.
“Well, until Xan’s better, you won’t be going anywhere anyway. And this baby is due around your birthday, so I won’t be going far. Devon will be the height of excitement for you, the pub the mecca for rockstars these days.”
“God that sounds good.” He puts his hands behind his head and leans back into the pillows, his face relaxed.
I laugh. “Really? Devon, a local pub, no LA party circuit with Kasey.”
His smile drops. “That fucker is on my shit list. Do you know he went on a TV show saying the only woman he ever loved married someone else. They tried to get him to say who it was, but he was all coy. I’m sure it’s you, Kitten.”
I crack out laughing. “No way. When we went out, it was all staged, nothing real about it. But we are friends, and I do speak to him often. I’ve said he can bring his boy to Devon, so you are going to have to play nice with him.” I smile at his face. It’s the picture of disgust. “In fact, Cole turned one a few weeks ago. I sent a present.”
“Yeah, I saw the ridiculous party he had. It was covered in an entertainment magazine. Angie is cashing in on the kid already. I feel sorry for him. We’re having no media, not ever. No way am I having my kids shoved out there to have people look at them, unless they want to when they are at least eighteen, minimum.” He’s deadly serious. “Kasey needs to rein Angie in. It won’t do the boy any good.”
“Kasey says she wants another child with him, a literal sperm donor with no relationship other than the money. Says Cole should not be an only child.” I tell him my titbit from Kasey and he rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, she’s really worried about Cole,” he grimaces through his sarcasm.
“Which is why I told him to fetch him to Devon whenever he wants. But I have told him no cameras.”
Kell grins at me. “You must be one of the only people to tell him no cameras. Mostly people are shoving him out to get publicity. No wonder he’s in love with you.” He kisses the end of my nose. “But he can’t have you. I’ll just need to remind him of that fact.” His eyes glow greener at that.
I shove at him to move out of the bed. “We need to go see Xan this morning, see how he is.”
He flops back onto the bed, flinging his arm over his eyes. “A fucking dinner at my mother’s nearly cost us so much. I just wish she wasn’t so hung up on you. I don’t fucking get it. You’ve never told her to get lost. Even after all the terrible things she did. She could have worked with you.”
He’s trying to figure out his mother? Good luck with that.
“I don’t jump high enough or quick enough for Rowena, or at all actually. She’s not used to subordinates not doing as they’re told. And I, according to her, am in that category.” I smirk at him.
“I keep saying she’s delusional, but she really is if she has you in that box. Even with all that, you still wouldn’t have cut her off. You would have taken the boys to see her.” I watch him trying to get into the mind of his mother.
“She didn’t want them to be yours. She didn’t want me to have another connection.” I shrug. “And now with this baby being Xander’s, she’ll definitely always have doubts, even though she’s seen the proof.”
I don’t want to think about how we’re going to navigate this with someone like Rowena. Problem is, she’s not on her own. There are plenty of Rowena’s out there.
“Well she can do and say what she wants. But if she wants to stay in my life, she has to accept the truth, not her version of it. I will not have any of my children treated differently, and that includes this one.” He touches my stomach, sliding down the bed and planting a kiss in the centre before looking up at me, his eyes soft with love. “They’re all mine as much as they’re all Xander’s. Xander loves James, Bucky, and the twins, thinks of them as his, and I do the same. Even in LA that first time, Xan thought of them as his.” He continues to look into my eyes and I see all the love and devotion of a man in love with his family.
Tears fill my eyes as the last twenty-four hours come slamming back home. “We could have lost him, Kell,” I whisper.
“Don’t, don’t.” He wipes at my eyes. “We haven’t. We’ve got to focus on the positive. C’mon, let’s get going.” He pulls me up and helps me dress.
Our lives continueon repeat over the next few days. Hospital all day, people in and out, waiting for news to see when they will wake him up, or at least try. The doctors have advised us they’ve reduced all the medicines, so he should wake up over the next twelve to seventy-two hours. They insist on limiting the numbers in the room, so the door feels like it constantly revolves.
