Page 24 of A Housekeeper for the Earl of Drinkwater
He bowed, then headed for the servant’s entrance. Once outside, he went to the shed where the tools and small equipment was kept. He tossed aside broken gardening tools and other debris, until he found what he sought.
He laughed bitterly as he retrieved his old fishing gear. The line had snapped, and the rod itself felt brittle and thin. The reel was not rusted, but it took several applications of brute force to get it functioning again.
He dug around until he found another spool of fishing line. Then, he exited the shed, going next to the stables. He saddled his own horse, as the stable-hand once again seemed to be absent, and then set off on his latest mission.
He was determined to put as much distance between himself and the mansion as possible. He could not look at the dark, empty when the inside of his mind felt just as dim and hollow.
He made his way to the broad, lively stream separating his property from his neighbours’, the Teasdale’s, if they still owned the place, that was; he’d been away a long time and had no idea if they were still there. Being here, by the stream, held so many good memories for him of fishing with his father and larking about with his brothers.
They’d spent a great deal of time fishing there, and the stream had used to be full of trout. He thought that a day of fishing might help him remember those times and forget his grief and loneliness. Deep down, he wished his mother would come around and at least be able to talk to him; he needed her.
Other than his mother taking his hand and looking at him earlier, she has little improved since his return. And for all the sleeping she did, she still looked exhausted and sickly. Edward knew she could not afford to lose any more weight. He prayed the physician would come soon and do something to help his mother.
As he fished, he tried to push all the worrisome thoughts of his mother out of his mind and focus on what he could do to return the income flow to the estate. One idea he’d had overnight was, if the trout were still plentiful here, that he might charge a sporting gentleman to come and fish.
Hunting and shooting parties might bring in a substantial income, as well. There were plenty of wealthy hunters in London, only a day or two’s ride away, always looking for a good place in the country for game, and there was certainly a great deal of game to be found on and around his property.
But those things alone would not solve his problem in total. Such activities were seasonal and would only bring in income during certain times of the year. Edward knew that what he really needed was some capital investment. But how would he go about obtaining it, with everything in ruins? And how could he repair the ruins without capital?
For the time being, with the family coffers empty, as far as he could tell, he was relying on his army pension for a regular income. Other than that, he’d sold off a few old family heirlooms that had survived the ravages of his mother and father. It had been heart-wrenching but necessary, if the estate was ever to get up and running again. Plus, there would be mother’s medical bills to pay, and the servants wages, including those for a new housekeeper, so he felt he had no choice.
Then, he allowed himself to think again of his dear Caroline. They had been young lovers, just beginning their relationship, when he’d gone off to war. He had sworn to return to her, and now, he was home. He felt mercenary even thinking of it, but if they were to marry, as they’d planned to three years ago, her dowry would provide him with the money he needed to get the estate running again and re-establish the family’s business interests.
But would Caroline be able to love a man as damaged as himself? He rubbed his leg self-consciously. After a great deal of soul-searching, he had written to her, telling her of his injury as he was recovering and awaiting his fate within the military, but she had never written back.
In fact, he had not received a letter from her for months before his return. He was sure they must have been lost while he was in transit. But she must be told of his condition before she sees him again. What if it came as such a shock to her that she could not stand to look at him?
No,he thought, scolding himself.She still loves me. And I love her. And there is nothing we cannot conquer, as long as we are together.
With that thought came terrible guilt for thinking of her dowry. He hated himself for even considering such a thing. He knew that as her husband, her dowry would be his by right, but it was also meant to be a nest-egg of sorts, should any of his business ventures fail and they needed money to get by until he found another.
But who was to say if she still loved him? Perhaps he was simply concocting wild fantasies that would never come to pass. He told himself he was being ridiculous, as her letters, before they’d stopped coming, had been filled with love and talk of his return. Surely, if she truly loved him, she would not have changed her mind in such a short time, would she? He decided he would write to her that evening. When she wrote back, he would know all was well, and that they could pick up their romance where they’d left off before the war.
With that decided, he turned to other happy thoughts. On Mrs. Chantry’s advice, he had arranged to fill the role of housekeeper for the manor by contacting an employment agency. Mrs. Chantry hoped to recover from her illness, and she did seem to be getting better. But she had reluctantly told him she intended to retire as soon as she had recovered and trained a replacement.
Edward could not blame her. She had served his family for more years than he could remember, and she had always done a magnificent job. Still, it would feel like the loss of another beloved family member when she eventually went, and Edward did not know if he was ready to face that.
He hoped the housekeeper the agency was sending would be suitable. He knew little about her, as he had not yet received the letter from the agency explaining who they were sending. However, he knew a woman was coming in two days’ time for an interview. He hoped she was right for the job and willing to help make the decrepit mansion feel more like a home again, rather than screaming at the sight of it.
A few hours, and no fish, later, a disappointed Edward packed up his fishing gear and returned to the manor. He took his gear inside with him, with the intention of cleaning it as best he could. Then, he went straight to his bedchambers and set about one last important task for the day, a letter to his sweet love.
My dearest Caroline,
Please, forgive my delay in writing to you. I returned from the war a few weeks ago, but what I came home to was a little short of a living nightmare. To call it horrific would be a gross understatement, and I have only recently regained enough of my senses to decide I must now write to you.
But I do not want to darken your beautiful smile with such talk. For now, I merely wish to say that I have missed you dearly, and I cannot wait to see you again, now that I am home to stay. As I promised, now I am home, we can be married, and have the big, wonderful family we always talked about. It is a dream that has sustained me during the long months of war away from you.
I must now close this letter, my love. More duties await. However, if I may, I shall call upon you within the next few days. In the meantime, I shall anxiously await your response.
I love you forever, Miss Caroline Masters.
All my love,
Edward
He reread the letter, considering tossing it into the bin. He did not know whether he should even allude to his current troubles, at least, not until he and Caroline were in one another’s arms again. But at last, he decided she deserved to know why he had not called on her the moment he’d returned to the country.
Once the letter was ready to post, Edward dressed and gave it to Clarke. The butler looked at it; he smiled, a rare occurrence, Edward knew.
