Page 18 of The Duke's Last Dance
Nicolas continued his walk, just enjoying the fresh air. However, it did not help him as he thought it would. There was still the thought of what he would have to do, meeting and courting Lady Alexia, in the back of his head. There was too much to consider too easily turn it all away at the door, so to speak.
By the time he arrived in Town, he was no longer calm. He was more worked up than he had been when he left the house.
The only way he would really be able to do anything to calm himself down would be to talk to someone who was removed from the situation. He did not have many friends in Town anymore; being away from town for three years could do that to someone easily. The only friend he could think of off the top of his head was Lord Radcliff.
He knew that Lord Radcliff worked at a law firm, and he happened to be passing by when he thought to talk to someone who did not know what was going on yet.
He walked in, knowing that he needed an outsider’s opinion.
Lord Radcliff was walking out of a study as he walked into the building.
“Lord Lockhart, what a surprise,” Lord Radcliff said. “I was not expecting you to walk in as I was about to take my lunch break… what brings you here? Is there legal trouble brewing at Ashwood Manor?”
“Not exactly legal trouble,” Nicolas replied. “Is there somewhere quiet we could talk?”
“My study would be good. Come,” he motioned to the door as he spoke. “We can speak in there, and no one will interrupt us.”
“I am glad to hear that. Let us go, then,” Nicolas simply echoed the words back. He did not have the mental power to say anything more until they were alone. He was afraid that someone would take his words the wrong way, and if his father heard that he was not happy with the idea of marrying Lady Alexia, the entire situation could get much worse quickly.
Lord Radcliff closed the door behind them. He motioned to the seats, and Nicolas sat down in one of the seats on this side of the desk. He had expected Lord Radcliff to sit behind the desk, but his friend decided to sit beside him instead.
“What troubles you, Lord Lockhart?” Lord Radcliff questioned. “I have not seen you so upset since… well… since before you joined the Navy. I believe for you to be so upset is a rarity.”
“My father has decided to force me to marry Lady Alexia Balfour… and if I refuse to marry her, then I risk losing my entire inheritance. I will effectively be disowned…” Nicolas caught himself before his tears could make themselves known to anyone else. “I have already set my heart on courting Lady Catherine this Season, and my father is doing everything in his power to make sure that does not happen.”
Lord Radcliff leaned back on the chair as Nicolas took a moment to catch his breath.
The possibility of having to leave Catherine to marry someone else when he was so intent on fulfilling the promise that he had made her hurt. It physically hurt to think about it, as if someone was squeezing his heart and refusing to let go.
“Do you want to marry my sister that badly?” Lord Radcliff’s response shocked him.
“What do you mean?” Nicolas could not make any sense of it.
“If you mean to marry my sister, then you must want it badly, especially to contradict your father’s wishes. I do not believe you ought to overthink your own intentions, nor those of your father, Nicolas. The illness may have caused your father to become irrational. I am sure that he will realize what he is doing is driving you mad if he gets better. If he does not, then take time to think about what you want to do,” Lord Radcliff explained. “If you mean to marry Lady Alexia, then do not court my sister. If you mean to marry my sister, I do not know what to tell you to do about Lady Alexia other than perhaps let her know that you do not intend to go through with the marriage, but are doing this to make your father happy in his last days.”
“I do not believe I could keep that up until my father passes,” Nicolas said. He shook his head. “No, I could not. I do not know when he will pass, and he will become suspicious if the courtship was too long. I believe he intends to see me marry before the end of the Season; the doctors do not believe he will live to the end of the Season, if that long.”
“If he means to see you married by then, perhaps you could tell your father that it is not possible as you do not know her well enough,” Lord Radcliff proposed. “Whatever you decide to do, you need to make sure you can live with your choice.”
“Thank you, Lord Radcliff.” Nicolas took in a deep breath. “Talking it out with you has helped a lot. Thank you.”
“Of course. Now, I can see that this has really quite troubled you. Why don’t you come with me to Vauxhall Gardens tomorrow evening?” Lord Radcliff questioned. “I believe an outing where your father has no power over you will do you good, and it may help you realize exactly what you want from your life.”
“Thank you, Lord Radcliff; I appreciate the offer. I shall see you at the gardens tomorrow, then. For now, I am afraid that I must take my leave. My mother and father will not be happy to learn that I walked all the way here from Ashwood Manor, and ‘ruined a suit,’ my mother will say,” Nicolas said. He looked down at his suit; the only thing that was really dirty was the bottom of the pant legs from all the walking.
“Go in a service entrance if you, then.” Lord Radcliff laughed. “I will see you tomorrow evening at the gardens, then.”
“Until then, Lord Radcliff,” Nicolas replied as he got up.
His friend saw him to the door, and then they parted ways.
As Nicolas walked back towards Ashwood Manor, he let his shoulders relax. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.
What did he want from his life? He knew that he wanted to see where a courtship with Lady Catherine would go, but he was also willing to give Lady Alexia a chance, if only to see his father smile for a few days at the idea of marrying him off to Lady Alexia.
Lady Alexia… what a strange time for her name to come up in his life. It seemed she had come out of nowhere, and he wondered if he would recognize her when he saw her. The name was unfamiliar to him, but that could have been because he had not been in Town for three years.
What if she had debuted last Season?
