Page 45 of The Duke's Last Dance
She always had been in love with him. It explained so much of what had happened lately – her jealousy when he had danced with Miss Alexia, her sudden happiness over what could only be described as an almost-kiss with him after she had got over the fact that he had attempted to force it. She loved him with all her heart, and she had always loved him with all her heart.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the end of the ceremony. Edward looked over at her, as if he were trying to break her thoughts without saying a word.
She was supposed to act as a witness!
She got up from where she sat and walked as gracefully and quickly as she could down to the vestry. She felt her cheeks flushing a little, but she refused to acknowledge that in front of everyone else. There was no way she could say something and not take the spotlight off of Edward and Juliet.
She stood quietly as she watched her brother and sister-in-law sign the parish register as now Edward and Juliet Radcliffe, a happy married couple finally bound by the holy rites of matrimony. Inside her chest a quiet happiness swelled, as well as a quiet jealousy.
Edward had been able to figure out how he had felt about Juliet all by himself, and she had needed to see their happiness and exchanging their rings to figure out that she loved Nicolas.
What was she to say to the Duke of Hestina when he inevitably asked for her hand in courtship if she was not yet courting Nicolas? If he wanted to court her, would he even ask her since the Duke of Hestina had been so persistent in pursuing her before now?
She set all of those thoughts aside as she walked behind Juliet and Edward towards the carriages. They would take one carriage, the newlyweds, and the rest of the people would find their own carriages to take back to Camberton Manor for the wedding breakfast.
She, Miss Amelia, and the countess would be sharing a carriage ride back to the manor, and she was excited for it. She would be able to enjoy the company of her mother and Miss Amelia, and perhaps share what she had realized with her mother. Though it was Edward’s day to be happy, she felt she could confide in her mother in secret on this ride to the manor.
“You look rather happy, Catherine,” her mother stated once she had climbed into the carriage. “Has something struck your fancy?”
“Yes, something has struck my fancy… Lord Lockhart.” Catherine smiled. “May I confide in you, Mother? I do not wish to upstage Juliet in any way, but… I think I need advice…”
“Of course, dearest. What is it?” Her mother leaned forward as the carriage began to move.
She knew she would only have her mother’s attention until they reached Camberton.
“I think I am in love with Lord Lockhart,” she started. “Do you know if he has brought anyone to Edward’s wedding breakfast?”
“I do not know…” Her mother pursed her lips. “I do believe I saw him and his mother sitting together, but I do not know if the woman sitting on his other side was with him or with the man to her other side. There were too many people for me to have a chance to talk to her before the wedding.” Her mother shook her head. “I do not believe he would have brought anyone to the wedding breakfast except for you.”
Catherine felt a blush rising on her cheeks, but she did not say anything about it to her mother.
“Thank you, Mother.” She felt she had taken enough time away from the happy newlyweds today, even though they would never know what had happened. She wanted to be able to rejoice in their marriage, even if she was struggling with her own feelings.
“Of course, Catherine,” her mother replied. “Is that all you needed?”
“Yes,” Catherine nodded slowly.
Her mother nodded, and then the carriage was silent for a few moments.
Catherine’s heart swelled with her mother’s intuition of the situation. She hoped that the woman sitting beside Nicolas had not been his partner for the wedding breakfast. She had not been able to find a partner, and her brother had insisted she should not have a partner if she could help it. So, she had honored her brother’s wishes, but she had no idea what the wish was for.
Would it not have been more proper for her to have a partner than to go without a partner? Especially considering that he was her brother, and they both had reputations to uphold… she would have thought he would have begged her to find a partner as soon as she could.
Perhaps there were other reasons he had done what he had.
“Why the sudden interest in Lord Lockhart?” Her mother would not let the conversation die, despite the fact that she was ready to leave the conversation alone.
“I believe that there is something I was too blind to see, and that I need to tell him that immediately. If he has come without a partner, then I still have a chance,” Catherine smiled, speaking softly. “Please, Mother, let us focus our attention on Edward and Juliet while we can. I would hate to take away from their day.”
“Yes, of course, Catherine,” her mother said.
The ride then became silent again. She hoped it would stay silent the rest of the trip to the manor, as she was not ready to tell her mother that she had only realized that she was in love with Nicolas because of the tender way that Edward and Juliet had exchanged rings.
What a way to find out that she was in love with a man, watching another man and woman take their wedding vows and watching them find the eternal happiness of everything in that marriage.
She took in a deep breath, hoping to calm her skipping heart. Talking to Nicolas would be easier now that she had realized she had been in love with him from the beginning. She only hoped that perhaps he had not been angry enough at her after the incident at the tea party to feel that she would never give him the light of day to talk to her.
“Here we are, Camberton Manor,” her mother finally said.
