Page 68 of The Duke's Last Dance
As she stepped into the gardens, she felt a distinct chill in the air. She drew her small shawl closer, wishing she had been able to bring a real jacket down from her closet. Her mother had insisted, however, that she use the shawl if she were cold; it would show off her dress better than a jacket not meant to be worn with this dress.
She walked through the gardens, lost in thought. Though she did like the Duke of Hestina, the doubts had begun to creep in again. Could she be happy in a marriage with him? Or was she deluding herself to try to make it happen when she knew that there was probably not going to be any way for her to work it out? Her heart continued to yearn for something more, despite her telling herself daily that it was time to let go of the past.
The past had taught her that she should not depend on men to deliver their promises. While Lord Burton had yet to break any of his promises to her, she could not help but believe that one day, he would break a promise. She hoped that when that happened it was a small, insignificant promise compared to the promises that Nicolas had broken.
She reached a fountain, and she stood there. The water ran clean and cool across the fountain, as if it were trying to tell her that all would work out. She knew everything would work out, but it did not stop her mind from running with the possibilities that could become reality.
She did not want to believe that Lord Burton would eventually turn out like Lord Lockhart had, but something in the back of her mind told her that it was only a matter of time before he broke a major promise, one that she had been set on keeping herself.
Footsteps brought her out of her thoughts, and she turned around.
There, walking towards her, was Lord Lockhart himself. She frowned, not sure what he could possibly want to tell her or talk to her about. There was no way he would want to see her now, after he had hurt her so badly.
He walked closer, not saying anything yet.
How dare he do this to her at her engagement dinner. How dare he believe he could make the hurt go away by simply showing up and proclaiming to love her again?
He took her hand when he was close enough. She pulled away, turning so that he could not see the hot tears running down her cheeks. Whatever had brought him here today, she sure hoped that it was a good reason. She wanted to slap him for showing up at her engagement dinner, uninvited.
“Catherine, please.” His voice pleaded with her.
“Two months, Nicolas… I wrote to you for two months and not once did I hear from you,” she whispered, the tears continuing to flow fast and furiously. “Two months.”
“Catherine, please, you must allow me to explain what happened,” Nicolas pleaded again. “My father kept your letters from me while I was at Gracemere, and he stopped mine from ever leaving the manor. It was not my fault that you did not hear from me; I tried. I wrote you letters, and because of my father, they never got to you. I’ve come to make things right.”
She heard rustling, and she turned around.
“You are too late to make it right, Nicolas,” she said. “I am engaged to marry the Duke of Hestina. You have crashed my engagement dinner, and to tell me that you did write me, but your father did not let the letters leave the manor?” She scoffed. “You are too late. You have broken one too many promises.”
“The Duke of Hestina is a philandering man, Catherine,” Nicolas said, his hand in his pocket. “There are rumors that he has had his fair share of mistresses, and I would not be surprised if his marriage to you is a way to clean up his reputation, if only for a little while.”
Catherine frowned deeply.
How dare he!
“Lord Lockhart, I am disappointed in you. I thought you were a gentleman, but now it seems I know the truth. You are the jealous type,” she said. “You are trying to make me doubt the duke! That is the only reason you have come tonight.”
“No, I swear, I have come with nothing but honorable intentions,” he started.
She stopped him.
“I should get back to my fiancé. We should not be alone; ‘twould be scandalous of me to be caught with you, regardless of your intentions for coming in the first place,” she said.
Then, she walked past him.
“Catherine, wait!” He grabbed her arm.
“I said, we should not be alone,” she insisted, pulling her arm away from him. “Touch me again, and I will have my father ring the police. You should leave while you still have a chance, Lord Lockhart.” She continued to walk back towards the manor.
She heard him continuing to shout after her, telling her that she needed to listen to him and that she was making a mistake. She did not care. She did not listen.
If he only showed up after two months to give her lies, then he was certainly not the kind of man she wanted to marry. Jealousy in marriage only led to unhappiness, scandals, and even worse, divorce. If she were to marry Nicolas now, she feared it would only lead to more scandals than she wanted to worry about.
Even if he was somewhat right about Lord Burton, he had shown no signs of philandering since they had begun courting. He had been incredibly attentive to her needs and her wants, and she liked that. It wasn’t like Nicolas’s attention, where it was spotty at best and he left her waiting for a response and expected her to return to his side like nothing had happened.
She entered the ballroom once again, and something shifted. She had perhaps made a mistake telling him so bluntly to leave her alone. He was a good friend, and he had been such a friend since they had been children. Though she no longer felt any love for him, she did not want to lose that relationship over his delusions.
Then again, if he insisted he listen to her, perhaps it was not a friendship she needed in her life.
