Cecily nodded, her heart beating wildly. She knew that the Dowager and her son would be watching them keenly as they entered. She let her eyes wander idly around the room, wishing she could see what that room looked like. Was it as beautiful as Agnes had described the rest of the manor to be?
“Cece, darling,” Agnes whispered. Her tone was urgent and gained Cecily’s attention immediately.
“Yes?” she whispered back, pretending to be looking at something in the corner of the room.
“You are staring right in the direction of the Duke,” she said with sympathy and unease.
Cecily blushed and quickly looked away. She squeezed her eyes shut and cursed herself sternly in her mind. How could she have made such an embarrassing mistake before anyone had even spoken a word? How rude he must think she was, and she did not know if she was brave enough to explain herself. Would she ever manage to do anything right?
Chapter Four
The day of the dinner with the Countess and her daughters, Val made himself scarce. He joined his mother for breakfast and did his best to pretend that he was looking forward to the dinner. In truth, however, all he wanted to do was stay in his chambers and not come out. But his mother was so excited that he could not bring himself to ruin it for her.
As he dragged himself through getting dressed, he tried to convince himself that he could get through the evening without being completely miserable. He had never met the Countess or her daughters, and he knew he had no right to judge how they would act until he did. But his experience taught him that no woman in thetoncould ever suffer to look at him.
If I get through this evening without incident, it will be because I do not speak a word,he thought, resigned.Perhaps, if they find dining with me to be too repulsive, Mother will not be angry if I excuse myself.
He sighed as Frank helped him put on his black gloves and straightened his black suit coat. A white cravat could not be missed.
“It’s too tight, Frank.” The Duke said.
“Pardon me, Sir.” the valet answered, fixing his cravat.
It was always bad enough when people judged him for his scars. Why would his mother subject herself to such scandal for showing him off? He doubted that thetonhad any more pity for her having a deformed son than they had for him for the fact he could not help his marred skin. Why did his mother keep insisting that they find themselves the subject of gossip?
As he turned away from the mirror, he scolded himself for his self-pity. Just because he was unhappy mingling at social events should not mean that his mother should keep herself from her friends. He was being selfish by thinking that she was not thinking of him. She deserved to have friends and enjoy himself. And he would not be the reason why she could not.
At last, he joined his mother downstairs in the drawing room. She looked beautiful in a silver gown embroidered with pearls and adorned with lace ribbons. Her silver-streaked black hair was tied back in a classy, elegant bun and decorated with diamond-encrusted hair combs. He walked over to kiss her on the cheeks and let her look him over.
“Darling, you look so dashing,” she said, giving him a warm smile.
He smiled, despite every protest he wanted to give her at that moment.
“When will they arrive?” he asked.
The Duchess glanced at the grand clock beside them.
“They should be here just about any time now,” she said.
Val nodded. He kissed his mother’s cheek once more and then moved to the other side of the room where his liquor cabinet was. He knew it was rude to get drunk before guests arrived, but even as he poured two fingers of brandy in a snifter, his hands were trembling. He wanted the evening to go well for his mother, but his nerves were rattled. Would he succeed in not embarrassing his mother that night?
He finished his brandy just as the butler entered the room. He swallowed, bracing himself as the man announced the arrival of the Earl of Dervinshire and his family. He rose stiffly from his seat, his stomach twisting into knots as he prepared himself to engage with them.
His mother was eager to greet them first, which was just as well to Val. It gave him the chance to take a deep breath before he forced himself to pretend that he was as glad to entertain them as his mother was. But that breath was soon expelled from him as he locked eyes with the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. His heart stopped and, for a moment, he forgot everything, including who he was.
He quickly recovered, looking away as his cheeks burned red hot. It was scandalous for any gentleman to stare at a lady in such a way. He, a hideous beast, had even less right to do so. Besides, there was no way that such a beautiful woman would stare back at him for any reason other than to judge his appearance. And as he knew just how disgusting he was, he could hardly blame her.
It was not until his mother cleared her throat softly that he realized it was his turn to greet the guests. He gave them all a tense smile, bowing just as stiff as he had left his chair.
“Good evening,” he said, a bit more loudly than he intended. “It is a pleasure to have you here this evening. We hope that you find everything to your liking.”
He winced in the silence that followed his words. Of course, they would not find everything to their liking. They were forced to spend the evening looking at his ugly countenance. He could not help wishing that the accident had somehow marred his vocal cords as well as his skin as he squirmed with discomfort.
His mother broke the silence, making the formal introductions between him and the family. He bowed again, feeling even more tense than before. The evening had not even yet truly begun, and he could think of nothing apart from it ending.
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Your Grace,” the Earl said, bowing.
Val returned the pleasantry, surprised to see that the Earl made direct eye contact with him without pulling any faces. The Countess and her two daughters curtsied; the former greeting him as warmly as she had her dear friend. The younger girl would not meet his gaze beyond the necessary greeting, but the one who had captured his attention was looking right at him. No, that wasn’t quite right. She seemed to be looking through him. Was that how she was trying to pretend that she was nonplussed by his appearance?
