The last of the anger and disappointment melted from his mother’s face. In their place was sympathy mixed with determination.
“If you truly love Cecily, you need to make things right,” she said. “Before it is too late. She longs for you now. But one day, she will no more.”
Val nodded. His mother was right about everything. He felt terrible for what he had done. But, if what his mother said about Cecily was true, it was not yet too late to salvage his marriage. He was filled with doubt that it was. But he could handle Cecily’s rejection. He could not handle never trying and wondering what if for the rest of his life.
“I am off to London at once,” he said.
His mother embraced him, and her warm smile returned.
“You can come with me, darling,” she said. “Let us go now.”
Chapter Thirty
Cecily sat in the drawing room with her mother and sister. It was only the third time in the fifteen days she had come out of her room since Val sent her home. But she was finding that it was easier to leave her bedchambers and pretend to not be miserable than to have her mother and sister continually beg her to join them.
She loved her family dearly and part of her was glad to be home. But a much bigger part of her wished she was still with the Duke. Especially with the conversation happening around her. It was too painful to listen, but she knew what was being discussed: Agnes’ upcoming wedding to Viscount Marendale, which would take place after the banns had been read out for three consecutive Sundays.
Her heart now ached as she thought of attending her sister’s wedding. She was still thrilled that Agnes was in love and on her way to having the happy, wonderful life that she deserved. But she had experienced, and lost, what she had believed to be a happy marriage. Agnes’ wedding would also be a reminder of what she had with Val. Or what she had thought she had with Val.
She was oblivious to the chatter around her as she continued to try to make sense of what her husband had done. She could not understand why, after everything they shared, Val believed their marriage was a mistake. She knew she could not have imagined the increasing affection between the two of him.
Val would never have wasted so much time on a woman he did not care for. And he certainly would not have gone to such lengths to make her feel welcome and happy. Did he think that she believed it was a mistake? Had she given him that impression?
With her new concerns taking root in her mind, Cecily began chewing her lip. She thought back to everything she said and did in the days leading up to Val sending her home. It must have been something she did because he had been so happy, until he suddenly wasn’t. Perhaps, he was tired of her touching him the way she did. If he only saw her as a friend, maybe she made him uncomfortable. But why didn’t he just say so? She thought she would go mad trying to understand.
“Cece,” Agnes said suddenly.
Cecily turned toward her sister, putting on a smile that even she knew was too big.
“Yes?” she asked with a brightness that matched her smile.
“How are you?” she asked.
Cecily cursed herself. She had no business moping if she was going to join her sister in her wedding planning. And she had no business hindering the plans if she was going to do nothing but mope.
With more enthusiasm than she thought she would ever feel again, Cecily nodded and mustered a more genuine smile.
“Aggie, darling,” she said, sounding almost normal again. “You worry about me too much.”
Agnes sighed and Cecily suddenly knew exactly what her sister was going to say. She could also feel her mother’s eyes on her. It was too late to put on her practiced smile, so she simply held her breath and waited for her sister to speak again.
“Of course, we worry, Cece,” she said softly. “It is because we care about you. We all do. And we want you to be happy.”
Cecily bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to say that her time for happiness was long gone. She wanted to say that her hopes of having a happy life died the day Val sent her away and would never be resurrected. But she bit until she tasted copper in her mouth. She would never forgive herself for saying such things and ruining Agnes’ happiness, during what should be the most thrilling time in a young woman’s life.
Grabbing hold of the images of Agnes’ smiling face as she recited her wedding vows to her fiancé with the light of love and excitement in her eyes gave Cecily the strength to give her sister a true, sweet smile.
“Aggie,” she said softly. “What I want to know is whether you have decided on your wedding dress yet. The suspense is almost unbearable, and I am dying to know which one you choose.”
She didn’t truly expect her diversion to work. She knew that her mother and sister would see it for what it was and that they would likely not drop the subject at hand. That is why she nearly fainted with relief when she heard Agnes clap her hands and give a tiny squeal.
“Oh, yes,” she said, all indications of concern for Cecily gone. “I am going to have a bright white dress made of all silk.”
Cecily allowed herself to absorb some of her sister’s joy as she prattled on about the dress. But in truth, Cecily hardly heard any of the details that Agnes explained to her. It allowed her to fall back into silence as the attention in the room once more went to Agnes and her wedding.
She cursed herself for not being able to summon enough of the previous happiness she felt for her sister. She felt ashamed of herself, but her pain was keeping her from properly sharing in her sister’s joy. But if she could just see Agnes happily married, she would have the rest of her life to mourn her own happiness. She only needed to get through the next three weeks.
Just then, she felt another’s presence in the room. She did not look up, but with a deep breath she identified the new person as the butler.
