“We don’t even know precisely what is happening,” she said, unsure if even she believed her words.
Lily stared at her as though she were mad. Martha could see that she wanted to say something, no doubt about the already sketchiness of Lord Billington’s reputation. But she was also seemingly torn by the idea of hurting her mistress any further.
“Miss Elwood, forgive me for speaking so boldly,” she said. “But you mustn’t ignore what you saw with your own eyes. The rest might just be speculation. But you know what you witnessed. At the very least, do not ignore that.”
Martha nodded, exhaling slowly.
“I just don’t want to make any rash judgments without speaking to Lord Billington,” she said. But even as she spoke, she wasn’t sure she wanted to do that. She wasn’t sure she could. For all she knew, he had fled London altogether, and would never return. She was a wild mix of emotions and thoughts, but she didn’t think that the viscount would go that far. But that was just the trouble. She didn’t know exactly what to think. And she was driving herself crazy trying to understand.
Lily gave her a sympathetic look, studying her face.
“I just do not wish to see you hurt anymore,” she said.
Martha gave her another small smile.
“Thank you, Lily,” she said. “Perhaps, Mother and Father will know what I should do.”
Lily nodded, but she seemed to be displeased with Martha’s answer. Martha knew the maid only cared about her. And in truth, Martha knew how the whole situation looked, no matter what it actually was. But shouldn’t she at least talk to the viscount before she made her own judgment? Or was Lily right, and she should just let the viscount go and try to move on with her life?
When she was dressed, Martha joined her parents in the drawing room. There was no food or tea on the table between them, and both her parents wore matching expressions of concern. When she entered, they looked at her, though her father looked away quickly, as though ashamed. Martha thought both her parents were upset with her, until her mother rose and embraced her.
“Oh, darling,” her mother said, holding her tightly.
Martha swallowed. She looked to her father, but the viscount still wouldn’t meet her gaze.
“Dear,” she said softly. “Something terrible must be happening.”
The silence after she spoke was nearly maddening. Her parents exchanged worried, stressed glances, both of them seeming to be waiting for the other to speak. After an eternal moment of no one speaking, her mother finally cleared her throat.
“We’re worried about your reputation, darling,” her mother said nervously.
Martha shook her head.
“I don’t understand,” she said. “I didn’t do anything wrong. And I haven’t the faintest idea what might have transpired between Lord Billington and Lady Cordelia.”
Her mother wrung her hands, looking down at her fingers as she did so.
“It would seem that Lord Billington and Lady Cordelia have something of a… history,” she said.
Martha nodded slowly.
“Yes,” she said. “Lord Billington’s cousin, Mr. Barnes, explained it all to me last night.”
At last, her father looked up at her, and the pain in his eyes was enough to break her heart.
“I’m afraid this is all my fault, sweetheart,” he said.
Martha shook her head, getting up to put an arm around her father.
“No, Father,” she said. “There’s no way this could possibly be your fault.”
The viscount shook his head, waving his hand.
“Of course, it is, Martha,” he said. “I should have never forced you to go along with an arranged marriage to him. I should have found out if there was any chance of something like this happening. I should have…” His voice trailed off.
Martha patted his shoulder and rubbed it gently.
“Father, you mustn’t blame yourself,” she said. “I am well aware that you only had my best interests at heart.”
