Page 34 of An Arranged Betrothal with a Contrite Duke
Michael glanced at his wife, the furrow in his brow deepening. “Lydia, I appreciate the effort, but I'm expecting word from an important client,” he said. “I really cannot spare the time for a picnic today.”
Disappointment washed over Lydia's face, but she was not one to give up easily.
“Couldn’t you spare an hour or so?” she asked timidly. “It is not noon yet, and you've been working so hard. A break might do you good.”
He sighed, rubbing his temples.
“Forgive me, Lydia, but I must decline,” he said. “You may go ahead and enjoy the picnic without me. I need to be here when the mail arrives.”
Baffled by Michael's firm refusal, Lydia reluctantly accepted his decision. The picnic was not to be their chance at rekindling their connection. She was his wife, after all. She could hardly argue with him. Things had been good, albeit a bit strained, between them. She didn’t want to risk upsetting him by pushing the subject.
“Very well,” she said. “I will leave you to it.”
She dipped her head to him, giving him a small smile. She thought she saw guilt flicker on his face, but he was buried again in his ledgers before she could get a good look. She left the study, feeling disheartened. But she decided to take his advice and partake in the picnic herself. There was no sense in such a lovely meal going to waste.
Lydia spent the following four days doing her best to show her devotion to her new husband. She made sure to be in the dining hall early for each meal, and she was always dressed to impress. And yet very rarely did Michael join her. He usually took his meals in his study if he took them at all. He seemed to be determined to spend his days locked inside of his study, pouring over his books and papers every second of the day. And still, he didn’t return to her chambers at night. Was he repulsed by her, after all?
After another four days, Lydia resolved to try again. She planned a day out of the house at Hyde Park, hoping that a change of scenery would encourage Michael to open up to her, if only a little. She had little confidence that he would agree, however. But she entered his study with a fresh vase of flowers and a smile.
“Michael, darling,” she said. “I was thinking of going for a stroll through Hyde Park today. Would you care to join me?”
She hadn’t realized how doubtful she was of his cooperation until the words had left her mouth. But to her surprise, he smiled to her and nodded.
“That sounds lovely,” he said. “Shall we go now?”
Lydia wondered at his sudden rush to spend time with her, but she decided against mentioning it. If she was ever to work on helping them connect, she needed to just take any chances she got to do so. She took her husband’s arm as he offered it, smiling proudly to herself for having finally succeeded in spending time with her new husband. She wished that she had considered having another small picnic put together for the two of them. But if they were out long enough, she decided that she could treat her husband to a snack from one of the vendors at the park.
However, Lydia’s delight soon evaporated. As they strolled through the park, Lydia noticed that Michael seemed cagey, his eyes darting around as if searching for an escape. She frowned, trying to think of some way to make him happy. She thought back to her previous idea, smiling sweetly at her husband.
“Would you like to get something to eat here?” she asked.
Michael shook his head, not meeting her eyes.
“No, thank you,” he said.
Lydia sighed. The park was rather crowded that day, and she realized that he might be tense around all the other patrons. She held onto his arm with both of hers and gave him another smile.
“Why don’t we go sit by the river?” she asked. “I am sure it is quieter and more peaceful there.”
Michael nodded, but he looked less than thrilled about that idea, too.
“Whatever you like, Lydia,” he said with a forced smile.
After a couple of hours, Lydia could no longer bear the tension. Whatever was going on with him was not rectifying itself. They were clearly both miserable, and she had stopped trying to engage him in conversation nearly two hours before.
“Michael, if you don't mind, I think I would like to return home,” she said.
He exhaled, the first hints of happiness and relief on his face since before they left their shared home.
“Of course, Lydia,” he said. “Let us return.”
She put on a brave smile, trying not to let him see how disappointed she was with their outing. But it was becoming increasingly clear to her. Michael didn’t want to spend any time with her. But why?
For the remainder of the first fortnight of their marriage, Lydia spent countless hours trying to understand her husband's behavior. Why did he seem so intent on avoiding her? She desperately wanted to bridge the gap between them, but every attempt only seemed to widen the chasm. Then, one evening, as Lydia sat in the drawing-room with her embroidery, she reflected on their strained relationship. Her heart ached with the desire to understand and mend the rift that had developed between them. The door creaked open, and Michael entered the room, the weight of his burden evident in his posture.
Lydia looked up, her heart pounding with the hope that this time, they might finally reconnect.
“Hello, Michael,” she said, giving him her best warm smile.
