Page 11 of An Arranged Betrothal with a Contrite Duke
Hester frowned, gently rubbing her back.
“Oh, dear,” she said. “I do hate seeing you like this.”
Lydia shook her head, pulling herself together. She couldn't let her loyal maid down. She felt bad for giving her cause for concern.
“No, Hester, I'm fine,” she said. “Thank you. You did wonderful work, as ever.” She forced a smile, trying to reassure her lady’s maid, but it was a weak and ineffective gesture.
Hester nodded, looking very much unconvinced.
“Well, you look absolutely stunning, milady,” she gushed. “I'm sure your groom will be over the moon when he sees you.”
Lydia snorted.
“I doubt that very much,” she said. “How could he be? We don’t even know each other, Hester. He surely isn’t any happier about this than I am.”
Hester clicked her tongue.
“He did reach out to your father to ask for your hand,” she said.
Lydia nodded slowly.
“Yes,” she murmured. “And yet, I still can’t understand why. Surely, he could have any unwed young lady in the ton. Unless there is something terribly wrong with him…” she trailed off. She hadn’t given it more than a passing thought before. But now, she couldn’t help wondering what could make a duke so unmarriageable that he would need to offer for a complete stranger’s hand.
What if he was in terrible debt, and was only marrying her for her dowry? What if he was trying to get away from a criminal past, as she had considered previously? Lydia would rather him be physically deformed. That, at least, she could deal with.
“There, there,” Hester murmured, gently embracing her mistress. “You mustn’t let yourself get worked up over things that haven’t happened yet. He could be a perfect gentleman, charming and handsome and the whole lot. But you’re going to fret yourself into a frenzy.”
Lydia sighed.
“But what if he isn’t?” she asked. “What if he is horrible, with some sordid past or secret? What if he is especially angry, or too much into spirits?” She sniffled as her eyes began to sting. “I should at least get the chance to learn these things. How can I marry someone I've never met?”
Hester patted her arm gently.
“You're a lady,” she said. “It's the way things are done. And I am sure he is none of those terrible things. Your father would surely be more discerning. And perhaps, you'll grow to love him in time.”
Lydia shook her head.
“I don't want to grow to love him,” she said. “I want to marry for a love that already exists, not out of duty, because my father wills it so.” She knew that her words were futile, but she couldn't help herself. She had dreamed of a different life, a life where she was free to choose her own path. But that dream was shattered now, replaced with the reality of her impending marriage to a man she didn't know.
Hester sighed and placed a gentle hand on Lydia's shoulder.
“Is there anything I can do to help, milady?” she asked.
Lydia shook her head, her eyes filling with hot tears.
“Not unless you can rescue me from this evening,” she whispered. “I'm not ready for this, Hester. I'm not ready to meet my groom.”
Hester's eyes softened, and she took Lydia's hand.
"I understand, milady,” she said. “But you must hold your chin high. You are a strong woman, and you can do this.”
Lydia took a deep breath and nodded. Hester was right; she had to be strong. She had no other choice.
“Perhaps, you are right,” she said. She didn’t completely believe it. But she thought she could at least coax herself into looking at the situation differently. “Surely, there will be something I can find that isn’t too unpleasant about him. And perhaps, I will find some way to keep myself content within the marriage.”
Hester grinned and nodded.
“There’s my Lady Lydia,” she beamed. “Just think of it. He could turn out to be fully supportive of your ideas for a school. And even if he was a distant or absent husband, you would have your dreams to keep you happy.”
