Page 24 of A Christmas Miracle for the Frosty Marquess
His eyes involuntarily shifted towards Clara. The hope that shimmered in her eyes, the faint quiver of her lip as she anticipated his response, only deepened the maelstrom of emotions churning inside him. He could feel every emotion all at once, yet also somehow individually, as well. There was the earnest desire for the feel of family unity that had dissolved with his mother’s passing, the ache that came from dragging up all his old memories, the pain of losing his mother and the longing to feel close to her again despite that pain. Any one of those alone would have been a struggle to understand. But all of them simultaneously were quickly overwhelming him.
Gone was the vehement denial he had prepared. Instead, he found himself conceding with all the reluctance of a man headed for the gallows.
“Very well,” he said sullenly.
Clara’s face broke into a radiant smile, her cheeks flushing with joy. Elizabeth, too, let out a relieved breath, her previously stern countenance softening. The room instantly came alive with a palpable sense of excitement.
“I will be happy to help you pull out any old decorations you may have,” Clara chirped, already lost in the visions of holiday grandeur. “And I am equally thrilled to help make some new ones, as well.”
Elizabeth nodded, her eyes already scanning the room, assessing where best to place the ornaments and garlands.
“It will be just like old times,” she murmured, more to herself than anyone else.
Julian studied his sister for a moment, feeling guilty for his earlier thought about his sister having forgotten about their mother. With what she had just said, he sensed that he had been incorrect in that assumption. For the first time, he realized that so blatantly reveling in the duchess’s memory might be the way his sister grieved her passing. However, he also felt a deep unease. Yes, he had agreed, but the weight of that agreement bore down on him heavily.
He was still struggling with his whirlwind of emotions spinning wildly within him. And the more he dwelt on the day ahead, the more uncomfortable he was beginning to feel. If Elizabeth had wanted to decorate the house to remember their mother, surely, she could have left him out. He considered leaving the room right then. But then, an image of Elizabeth and him chasing each other around the tree while they wrapped their strips of garland around its branches flashed through his mind. Some part of him ached to bring back those feelings. Even as his mind told him he would never feel that way again.
“Julian?” Clara asked, interrupting his thoughts. “Are you all right?”
He offered her a faint smile, his practiced facade coming to the fore.
“I was just lost in thought,” he said, choosing not to speak about the depth of his inner turmoil.In memories,he corrected himself silently.
Elizabeth nodded, her eyes still determined, but softening again to show a hint of understanding.
“I understand, Brother,” she said. “I was just asking you if you’d be willing to come help us collect items for the wreaths. We could use someone who can reach a little higher than we can.”
Julian surprised himself by smirking at his sister. He had enjoyed taunting her about being short once he finally grew taller than she was. The moment only lasted for as long as it dawned on him what she was asking. Their mother used to make an entire day out of collecting flowers, leaves from the few plants that didn’t die in the winter, berries, and vines for the wreaths, which decorated the walls in every room of the manor during the holidays. He gave a brief nod, looking away from his sister and toward the door, just in time to see his niece and nephew come barreling into the room.
“Can we go play in the snow, Mama?” Sarah asked, looking up at her mother with wide eyes.
Edward threw himself around Julian’s legs, but he, too, was looking at his mother with a hopeful expression.
“Please?” he asked. “We can look for berries while we’re out there, too.”
Elizabeth gave Julian a look as if to say,See? The children are thrilled about this.Julian looked away from his sister again, looking down to ruffle his nephew’s hair.
Elizabeth clapped her hands together, beaming at her children.
“As a matter of fact, that is precisely what we were about to do,” she said. “Go see Miss Clover and get your coats, and then have her bring you back here.”
The children’s faces lit up, and they raced each other out of the room. Julian allowed their merriment to thaw some of his frozen dread about what lay ahead. He chuckled softly as he listened to their footsteps retreat down the hallway. Elizabeth gave an exaggerated sigh, but when he turned to look at his sister again, the smile on her face was fond and doting.
“They remind me a great deal of us, don’t they?” she asked.
Julian nodded, still smiling.
“They do,” he said.
A few moments later, the children and their nursemaid were present once more. The butler brought Clara a cloak that matched her crimson dress, and Julian noticed the flush in her cheeks. His eyes lingered only for a moment, but he couldn’t help noticing how pretty she looked. It was still hard for him to reconcile the young lady before him with the young girl he had grown up with. But she was still as helpful and kind as he remembered, and she was as excited about the holiday festivities as his niece and nephew were.
When they reached outside, the children immediately ran ahead, gaining on the adults in record time. Elizabeth and Clara hurried to stay close to them, while Julian brought up the rear of their group. His boots crunched on snow covering the gravel pathway as he trailed behind the enthusiastic group. He was still hesitant to have anything to do with the affair. But he had to admit that the delight of the children was a small comfort to him.
The sprawling manor grounds, in all their winter glory, supplied the perfect backdrop for their quest. But for Julian, it was another journey into the past he kept trying so vehemently to forget.
Sarah, with her youthful exuberance, dashed from one shrub to another, her laughter echoed by Edward’s rambunctious giggles. Elizabeth tried to keep some semblance of order but was visibly thrilled by her children’s antics. It was Clara, however, who managed to draw Julian’s attention.
She let out a little exclamation of joy upon discovering a cluster of bright red holly berries, nestled amongst glossy, snow-covered green leaves. Her face, bathed in the soft sunlight filtering through the trees, lit up with childlike wonder, her fingers reaching out to touch the delicate berries.
