Page 37 of A Christmas Miracle for the Frosty Marquess
“I make it my business not to ask anyone else about your business, Cousin,” he said. “I merely observed that I have hardly seen you in two days, and when I do, you look as though you are lost in a world all your own.”
Julian glanced at him, considering how much to reveal. But then, he’d never been one for dissembling, and Thomas had a way of making people feel heard.
“Forgive me, Thomas,” Julian said, his words laced with an undefinable emotion. “It’s this blasted season. It brings back memories of Mother. Her absence weighs heavily on me, more so during Christmas.”
Thomas nodded, his eyes carrying a sympathetic gleam.
“Grief has a way of resurfacing when we need it the least,” he said. “But keeping it bottled up will only serve to darken your days, Julian.”
Julian sighed again and he shrugged.
“I have my duties to focus on,” he said, defensively. “The upcoming marriage to Clara demands my attention.”
Thomas nodded in understanding, looking at Julian thoughtfully.
“And what are your thoughts on that? Truthfully,” he asked, pressing ever so gently.
Julian stared at the path ahead, suddenly finding it hard to find words, even with his trusted cousin.
“It is what it is, merely a union forged for mutual benefit,” he said. “I’ve come to terms with it, accepted it as another stage in life that I must walk through.”
Thomas contemplated this for a moment before speaking again.
“Sometimes, acceptance is not about resigning oneself to the inevitable, but rather, it’s about letting go of the weight we carry,” he said. “Grief, anger, regrets… all the things that keep us bound to the past. Only then can we find true liberation.”
The words struck a chord deep within Julian, challenging his artfully arranged understanding of his life’s recent events. But before he could think of a response, Thomas added something more.
“And if you don’t mind me saying so, Clara might be more than just an obligation, Julian,” he said. “I’ve noticed the way she looks at you, the subtle caring in her gestures. She could very well hold the key to that heavy heart of yours.”
Julian was taken aback. In the whirlpool of his emotions and responsibilities, he’d never allowed himself to consider Clara beyond the rigid boundaries of their arrangement. Could Thomas be right? Could there be a deeper connection waiting to be unearthed?
As they continued their walk, reaching the point where the trees gave way to the well-kempt grounds of the Berrington Estate, Julian felt as if he were at the brink of an important revelation.
“Thank you, Thomas,” Julian said softly, realizing that for the first time in years, he was not just confronting his feelings but contemplating a future where he could reconcile them.
Thomas smiled.
“You’re more than welcome, Cousin,” he said. “Sometimes all it takes is a fresh perspective to help us see what’s been in front of us all along.”
Julian nodded, but his thoughts were already racing ahead, beyond dinner at the Bennetts, beyond polite society’s watchful gaze. They were thoughts of grief finally acknowledged, of duty met but not blindly followed, and unexpectedly, thoughts of Clara, no longer just as a responsibility but as a possibility.
As they arrived at the Bennetts’ front steps, greeted by the sound of laughter and conversation from within, Julian realized that for the first time in an exceedingly long while, he was looking forward to the evening. More specifically, he was looking forward to seeing Clara. And suddenly, he didn’t think that was such a dreadful thing.
Chapter Seventeen
The Bennett drawing room was magnificent with gilded frames, fine tapestries, and festive ornaments that seemed to twinkle in harmony with the joyous laughter filling the air. A fire crackled in the hearth, supplying a warm embrace against the chill of the winter evening. The Christmas tree, decorated with care, stood regally in the corner of the room, its branches cradling the lovingly handcrafted ornaments from countless Christmases past.
Clara looked around the room, her eyes surveying the faces of her loved ones. The earl sat in his usual high-backed chair, his wise eyes gleaming with pleasure. The countess sat beside him, radiant in an emerald gown that complimented the color of her eyes. Amelia was perched on an ottoman, while William stood by the window beside his other sister, laughing warmly at some jest or other. Hannah and Caleb Harris accompanied Mary to celebrate this special evening with Clara and her family. They were like extended family, and their presence only added to the merriment.
“An unforgettable Christmas night came to my mind,” Amelia said with a silvery laugh. “I still remember the time Father dressed as St. Nicholas and scared William so much that he ran all the way to the stables,”
William chuckled, rolling his eyes at the memory.
“Yes,” he said with a broad grin. “That holiday was forever immortalised as the Christmas I chose the company of horses over humans for many reasons.”
Clara giggled. She recalled that Christmastide very well. William had been embarrassed because Amelia had teased him about a girl he had met at the annual fair that summer, and he had been so embarrassed that he had fled to the stables, choosing to remain there until well after dark. No harm had come to him, fortunately, and Amelia had been chastised. But William had taken a liking to another girl just months later, and all was forgiven.
“You were obsessed with the horses for two years after that,” Clara joined in, her eyes meeting William’s. He winked at her, still grinning.
