Page 31 of A Spinster's Unexpected Marriage
“But if I want to encourage his interest, then I should make certain to attend,” Martha pointed out, a little surprised to find herself desperately hoping that the Marquess would turn around and disagree, telling her that no, she oughtnotto do the very thing she had just stated. She wanted him to come up with some reason as to why she should stay behind, why she should make certain to refuse him but, after a few moments, Lord Granton nodded again.
“I suppose you are right. I did not think that was something that you would be interested in, however.”
“I – I am not interested in it,” Martha answered, a little hesitantly, trying to sort through her own emotions before she gave him her answer. “What Iaminterested in is in making certain that our engagement is brought to an end before we have to start making plans for our wedding.” She looked at him, turning her head so that she could see as much of his face as she could. “That is what you want also, is it not?”
“Of course it is.” The brash, harsh tone was back in his voice and Martha frowned but turned her head away quickly, not wanting to question either him or the manner in which he spoke. Perhaps he was irritated with her for asking such a foolish thing given that this was what they had both agreed upon.
“At least Lord Billingham will not have any competition, given that Lord Childers is now caught up with your friend,” he continued, his jaw tight and not even the smallest hint of lightness coming into his voice. “I thought thathemight be interested in pursuing you but it seems that Miss Stockton has caught him instead.”
“Yes, I believe she has.”
Nothing more was said between them and, as Martha continued to walk with him through the park, she felt her spirits sink lower and lower. This ought to be a happy moment, a realisation that there was now a chance for their happiness – albeit separately – but instead, all she felt was strain and uncertainty. Swallowing hard, Martha looked away, a little surprised to find tears threatening behind her eyes. Blinking them back, she tried to take in a deep, steadying breath in the hope of chasing away her negative feelings but instead, the weight of them only grew heavier. As they continued to walk in silence, Martha’s heart began to squeeze with a gentle, dull ache as she thought of what it would be like to end her engagement to the Marquess of Granton. Would she be happy to step into the arms of another? Would she be glad to bring an end to all of this deception? Or was there a part of her – a part that she desperately wanted to remove from herself – that could not think of anything worse than never becoming the Marchioness of Granton?
Chapter Seventeen
James scowled. “Another.”
“Really?” Lord Radford lifted an eyebrow. “You have done nothing but sit here and drink and now – ”
“This is the second time in as many days as you have demanded that I reconsider how much liquor I imbibe,” James interrupted, aware that his tone was dark but caring very little for it. “I do not think that I require a nursemaid, Radford.”
His friend held up both hands, palms out towards him. “Very well.”
Letting his gaze follow the footman who went to fetch him another brandy, James felt the gaze of Lord Radford on him but did his best to ignore it. There was nothing that he wanted to say to his friend and certainly nothing that he wanted to hear from him either!
“I heard that your betrothed was seen watching the phaeton race earlier today,” Lord Radford murmured, a quiet question in his voice – a question which James did his best to ignore. “I presume then that Lord Billington is interested in her?”
“It would appear so,” James said stiffly, his whole body tensing in a strange manner as though he were preparing for some sort of defence. “That is just what we have wanted, however, so it pleases me a great deal.” None of those words were truly what he felt, of course, but all the same, he spoke them with as much conviction in his voice as he could muster. He did not dare tell Lord Radford – and did not even want to tell himself – that there was more to his feelings for Lady Newton than mere acquaintance.
“That is excellent news!” Lord Radford exclaimed, beaming at James as though this was truly the most wonderful thing he had ever heard. “You will soon be free of her then, yes? That is just as well, for I confess that I have grown rather tired of telling everyone just how much you dote on Lady Newton.” He laughed but the sound raked down James’ spine. He was not enjoying this conversation with Lord Radford and found himself eager to step away from his friend.
The problem was, there was nowhere to escape to. Everyone else in the room was either playing cards or conversing with each other and, should he quit the room and go elsewhere, he would find the same in either the library or the parlour, no doubt. He would have people asking him about his engagement, talking to him about Lady Newton when all he wanted was to forget all about her.
“Whatever is the matter?”
“What do you mean?” James snapped, looking at Lord Radford sharply. “There is nothing the matter. You are, yet again – ”
“You… you do not want to end your engagement, do you?”
The stunned expression which rippled across Lord Radford’s face was nothing in comparison to the shock which wrapped tight around James’ heart and then spread out right through him. He swallowed hard, trying to shrug off his friend’s remark, only to see Lord Radford’s eyes widen all the more.
“It is not what you think,” James began to say, only for Lord Radford to close his eyes tightly and reach up to rub one hand over his eyes.
“I cannot believe this,” Lord Radford whispered, his voice hoarse with evident astonishment. “How can you have left yourself fall for your betrothed?”
“Fall for?” James repeated, trying to inject as much mockery into his voice as he could. “My dear Lord Radford, you are entirely mistaken.”
His friend, however, quickly shook his head. “No, I am not. I have known you for a very long time, do not forget, and in seeing you now, I recognise what the turmoil is that you are struggling with. And it is because of her, is it not?”
James shrugged. “It may be because of her but that does not mean that I am in love with her,” he stated, with as much conviction as he could. “That is a foolishness.”
“Then what is it?” Lord Radford lifted an eyebrow. “What is it that is causing you so much distress? I can tell that you are not at all the gentleman you once were. I thought it was because you were distracted by your supposed engagement, that you were caught up by playing the role of a devoted gentleman but now I see that there is something more there. Something that you may not even want to admit yourself.”
“You are talking nonsense,” James answered, a little anger now in his voice. “You state that we have been friends for a long time and that is true, but do you really believe that I would permit myself to have any sort of feelings for one lady in particular?” He let out a harsh laugh and shook his head. “Never. I would never be as much of a fool as that.”
Lord Radford folded his arms over his chest and lifted his chin, looking up at James with a steadiness in his eyes. “Then explain to me why you are so frustrated, irritated and upset over the prospect of Lord Billington pursuing Lady Newton?”
James set his jaw, his fingers tightening into a fist as he fought to find an answer. “I do not think that Lord Billington is suitable for her, that is all.”
