Page 36 of A Spinster's Unexpected Marriage
Her eyes opened again to see him looking back earnestly at her but again, she shook her head, trying to remove the flare of hope with raced right through her. “I cannot believe that.”
A hint of a smile touched the edge of his lips. “Why ever not?”
“Because this has all been a pretence!” she exclaimed, trying to pull her hand from his but finding that she did not have the strength nor perhaps the true willingness to do so. “You have not truly turned towards me, you do not have any legitimate feelings for me, do you? Instead, there is only fakery, is there not? You are doing this for a purpose.Weare doing this for a purpose.”
Lord Granton, by way of answer, lifted one hand to her face, his fingers brushing lightly along her cheek, his thumb sweeping along the curve of her chin. His eyes were searching hers, that smile still flickering at the corner of his mouth and Martha felt herself grow weak. How much she longed to pull herself close to him! How much that desire for his nearness grew!
And just how foolish I am.
“My purpose has changed.”
Her eyes closed as his words crashed into her heart. She wanted to cling to them, wanted to pull them into herself and let herself give into the desire which now coursed through every part of her.
Her distrust of him held her back.
“You are a rogue,” she said, thickly, her eyes still tightly closed as though, by not looking at him, she could sweep away all of the feelings his touch was bringing her. “You will always be a rogue. Mayhap you have decided that there is a good reason for us to wed. A reason that will bringyousome sort of reward, some boon which – ”
“I have no desire to ever return to the way of life which I once enjoyed.”
The fervency in his voice had her eyes opening again, seeing him closer to her than he had ever been before, his lips only inches from hers. This was how they had been before, during their waltz, and how much she had found herself desiring a kiss from him! That desperate hope began to rouse itself within her again and despite her attempt to push it away, to fight it until it retreated, it built up within her until it overcame her completely.
“I know that you cannot trust me but Iwillprove myself to you,” Lord Granton told her, his voice a mere whisper now though, to Martha’s ears, it felt like a thunderclap. “This is a surprise to you, I know, but believe me, it is as much an astonishment to me also!”
Martha blinked up at him, her resistance fading to nothingness. She did not know whether she could trust him, did not believe all that he said but the urge to give in, to let him take what it was that he wanted from her simply so that her own desires could find satisfaction was too strong to be held back. With a catch of her breath, she closed her eyes and tilted up her chin just a little – and her silent prayer was answered.
His mouth fell to hers but it was not with a ravenous hunger, as she had expected. Instead, it was with a gentleness which spoke of consideration rather than a fierce, urgent desire. His hand pulled from hers but then settled at her waist, not tugging her against him as she had expected. There was a tenderness there which made her want to lean into him, to let herself rest against him as though he were safe, as though she trusted him completely.
One hand settled tentatively at his heart, the other still at her side but there, Lord Granton found it and laced his fingers through hers. His head lifted for a moment, only for his lips to then brush across hers again, his head tilted to one side so that the kiss could deepen just a little. There was no urgency there still, only a gentle exploration as though he could not quite understand what it was that was happening between them just as she could not. Martha had never been kissed by a gentleman before and, though she knew that Lord Granton was nothing but a rogue who had done this many a time to many a lady, his sweetness and softness made it appear as though he had never done such a thing before either.
Martha gave in completely, choosing to forget her questions, to ignore her doubts and to let herself fade entirely into this moment. The Marquess’ arms wrapped around her and, for the first time in their acquaintance, Martha gave herself up to all that she felt – and kissed him back.
Chapter Nineteen
James sighed to himself and leaned back in his chair. Last evening had gone very well indeed though it had been rather unexpected, even for him! Having spoken to Lord Radford – and although that conversation had ended rather badly – he had found himself contemplating a great deal. He had not thought what he was to do, had not made any particular decisions but in seeing Lady Newton at the ballroom, in hearing that her parents had made all thought of ending her engagement impossible had lit something within him; something fierce which he could not put out. He had found himself almost rejoicing over the ending of their plan, delighting that there was now no space for Lord Billington to enter in and, as he had determined to speak to her father in order to set a wedding date, something curious had taken hold of him.
He could not yet ascertain what it was and even at this moment was considering all that he felt but it had been so strong and so severe, he had not been able to hold himself back from it. It had swept through him, crashed over him and wrapped around him, his heart lifting with such a joy that he had found himself smiling without even realising it. There had been a happiness running through him, making his heart quicken into a faster beat, his head held a little higher as though he was somehow proud of the fact that he was soon to be a married man. He had looked at Lady Newton and had found himself almost desperate to wrap her in his arms, to let her know what it was that he was feeling, that he washappyabout their engagement but had held himself back from that, being a little uncertain and unsure as to what it was he felt himself.
And then, she had asked to speak with him in the quiet shadows of the ballroom and it had taken all of his strength not to do as he had been used to doing so many times before with other young ladies. He had wanted to put his arms around her, to pull her close, to murmur words of affection and consideration and to see her soften beneath his attentions, but with a great effort, he had refrained.
The words he had spoken to her as he had attempted to explain why his desires had changed, why he had felt himself more contented now with their engagement had been true and yet, he had seen the distrust of him flicker in her eyes. There had been a confusion, a doubt which he could not simply pull from her. He had tried his best to explain, feeling the desire to kiss her growing ever stronger but, much to his astonishment, it had been Lady Newton herself who had given in first. When she had closed her eyes and lifted her chin just a little, her mouth only a few breaths away from his own, James had been caught a little off guard. It had taken him a moment to respond, feeling himself caught by the gravity of the moment, aware of all that it offered him and how much he longed to take it. Their kiss had been gentle and unhurried, vastly different to all that he had done and all that he had shared with anyone before. It had been a new experience for him for even though he had kissed a good many ladies before, he had never once done so when his heart was filled with an affection for her. The way his heart had softened, the way his happiness had torn through him had been so great, it had robbed him of speech for a few moments after their kiss had ended.
It was all both rather wonderful and, at the same time, a little unsettling.
With a small smile, James pushed himself from his chair and made his way to his bedchamber, ready to prepare himself for the evening’s events. He was going to be in Lady Newton’s company all over again and, this time, be able to tell thetonthe date of his upcoming wedding. Lord Hampshire had been delighted to agree to the date James had suggested and now, in only a month’s time, James would find himself married to Lady Newton. He chuckled to himself, garnering a somewhat questioning glance from his valet, though the look was gone in only a moment. How strange it was, James considered, that what he had reviled only a few short weeks ago was now something that captured him utterly! He was looking forward to the moment when he would make his promises to the lady, eager to find out what life would be like, shared with her.
I suppose,he thought to himself, as he began preparations for the evening’s soiree,that is what comes when one is falling in love.
***
James wandered through the drawing room, out of the door and then into the hallway, wondering where he might find Lady Newton. Lord Kenway’s soiree was very busy indeed, with far too many guests – at least to James’ mind. The crush was a little overwhelming and, struggling to find any sight of Lady Newton or her parents, James turned away from the library door with a scowl on his face.
“You are looking for your betrothed?”
James turned, his eyes flaring wide for a second as he looked into Lord Radford’s face. “Yes, I am.” He cleared his throat, a little gruffly. “Radford, I – ”
“Let us not speak of it,” Lord Radford replied, quickly. “That is not a subject I wish to discuss any further, I can assure you.”
James managed to smile, relief flooding through him. “I appreciate that, my friend, though I think I should still apologise.” He put one hand to his heart. “You were quite correct. I spoke without thinking, choosing to mock rather than to willingly listen to what you were saying. I did not know of what I spoke and I am sorry for any injury that I caused you by my words.”
