Page 31 of Enamored with a Brooding Earl
Temperance shook her head. “Nothing. Now go with all haste.” As the maid left, Temperance drew in a deep breath and then set her shoulders. Lord Barlington was going to come into her private parlor, a place where she had found herself a little healed from the pain he had caused her, and would, instead, shatter the peace which she now held so dear.
But what could she do? Her mother had basically confined her to this room, determining that shewouldhear all that Lord Barlington had to say, no matter what she herself wanted!
Her eyes closed as she trembled visibly, her anxiety increasing every moment that she waited for his arrival. This had all been arranged without her consent and now all she could do was wait.
***
“Finally, we are to be able to speak, face to face and without interruption.”
Temperance did not go to sit down as Lord Barlington came into the room. Instead, keeping her chin lifted – despite the trembling in her frame – she stepped behind the couch and set her hands to it, her fingers curling into the soft fabric.
“I am grateful for the time you are willing to give me,” Lord Barlington continued, coming to stand a little closer to her, though he stayed enough of a distance away to leave Temperance a little more at ease. “There is so much that I wish to say. I think that –”
“It is my mother who has determined that I am to speak with you,” Temperance interjected, not at all concerned that she had interrupted him so quickly. “I did not know of this arrangement. I was not told of it.”
Lord Barlington, rather than appearing at all concerned by this, rather than stating that he was sorry such a thing had happened, merely shrugged and Temperance’s stomach twisted. To her mind, it was clear just how little Lord Barlington cared for her, even if he pretended to be doing so.
“I am grateful for the opportunity to say all that I wish to say,” he said, taking a few steps closer to the couch, though Temperance silently vowed to keep a piece of furniture between them no matter how much he tried to do otherwise. “Lady Temperance, you must know how much I regret what I did.”
“Your regret does not matter to me.”
“Though it should!” came the reply. “It could change a great deal between us if only you would consider what I have to say.”
Temperance shook her head. “No, Lord Barlington. Nothing will change between us.”
“But I amtrulysorry,” he said, his tone beseeching, his eyes a little wide as though by his words and his expression, he might convince her. “I should never have turned from you. The scar is severe, yes, but that does not mean thatyouhave altered!”
“And yet, you broke our engagement because of it!” Temperance exclaimed, a deep anger beginning to push its way through her, anger which had remained unspoken for the last two years. “You told me that I was worth nothing to you any longer, that thisimperfectionwas not something you could endure, as thoughyouwere the one suffering. You did not have any real concern for me; you only thought of yourself. And now you come to me, expecting me to be grateful for your return and your apology?”
“Perhaps not grateful,” Lord Barlington murmured, his voice soft but a glint in his eye which Temperance did not like. “Though I did hope that you would understand.”
Temperance shook her head, silently praying that Lord Barlington would either quit the room or that Lord Calverton or Lady Thurston would appear and be able to bring her the relief she so desperately craved.
“I want to try again, Temperance.” Lord Barlington moved to make his way around the couch towards her but Temperance moved quickly, keeping the piece of furniture between them. “Why do you avoid me so? Why do you hurry away? Can you not see that this connection, thisclosenessis something that would be good for the two of us?”
“No, it would not be,” she answered, her voice rasping a little as fear began to climb up her throat. What if Lord Barlington attempted to force himself into a situation where they might be then ‘discovered’ by her mother, thereby forcing a connection between them again? He was not a good, kind-hearted, understanding gentleman and his clear expectation that she would accept him might very well force him to act in such a desperate manner. What if she could not escape him?
“You are mistaken if you think that lingering here, in this house as a spinster, will be any better for you,” Lord Barlington continued, his lip curling just a little. “Come now, Temperance, do be reasonable. Can you not see how devoted I am to you? I have given up society life, I have made arrangements to reside near you, all so that I might express just how eager I am for us to return to what we once shared.”
Temperance’s breath came quick and fast as she continued to move slowly, keeping a distance between Lord Barlington and herself. “You think that you have all the answers to my present difficulties, Lord Barlington, but you presume too much. You believe I am upset, that I am sorrowful in where I am at present when I assure you, I am quite the opposite. I do not require you to come back to rescue me. I do not require you to pull me from spinsterhood.”
Lord Barlington clicked his tongue. “Yes, you do. You merely do not see it as yet.”
The arrogance with which he spoke made her both angry and stunned that he should think it quite suitable for him to speak to her in such a manner. Did he truly believe that he had the right to tell her such things? That he was some how required to give her such advice?
“I made a mistake, Temperance,” he said, firmly. “I want now to rectify it.”
“That isyourdesire,” she answered, attempting to speak with as much firmness as he. “It is not mine and you cannot force that upon me.”
Something passed over Lord Barlington’s expression which gripped Temperance’s heart with a terror she could not explain. Lord Barlington’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed and fixed to hers. There was a hint of steel in them, a slight narrowing of the edges of his eyes that made Temperance’s heart squeeze with fright. She looked to the door, wondering if her mother was suddenly going to burst into the room in the hope that something untoward was taking place.
“Come now, Temperance, do be reasonable.” There was a darkness to Lord Barlington’s tone which made her shudder violently. “I have never stopped caring for you. These last two years have been torment, separated from you in a way which has torn at my heart. To realize that the sadness and upset upon me were my own doing made my guilt and embarrassment grow to such heights, they could not be tolerated! It was then that I decided to do what I had to in order to try and bring about a healing between us.”
Temperance did not believe a single word which came from his mouth. There was no genuine emotion there, no hint of promise in anything that he had to say. Temperance tried to think of an answer, tried to find a way to tell him that nothing that he said to her, nothing that he expressed, would make any difference to her heart but, in the end, chose to say nothing. To her mind, it seemed that anything she tried to say would either be rejected or turned back on her, as though somehowshewere the one in the wrong for refusing to accept him.
“I beg of you to consider all I have said, Temperance.” Lord Barlington made his way towards her again but quickly, she stepped behind the couch once more. Instantly, the darkness on Lord Barlington’s expression grew heavier.
“Temperance,” he said, in a somewhat commanding tone, “you are being foolish. There is no need for these games! I – ”
