Page 4 of A Brooding Christmas Promise
“It was a mere moment of anger and upset,” Lady Barcsay answered, her tone a little wheedling. “Pray, forgive me for it.”
Thomas looked to Charlotte who simply smiled briefly and then looked away, leaving the decision with him. He sighed, rubbed one hand over his eyes and then shook his head. “I shall extend the invitation to you, Lady Barcsay, because it is what my father would have wanted me to do. However, I must warn you, if there is any further…momentswhere you feel the urge to take out your anger upon my sister, then that shall not sit well with me. I do hope I make myself clear?”
“Very clear indeed.” A red spot rose in Lady Barcsay’s cheeks and Charlotte was quite certain her teeth were clenched but, all the same, she remained perfectly composed.
“Now,” Thomas smiled, looking down at Charlotte. “Come, Charlotte, let us take tea together and you can tell me all your news.” He threw a glance to Lady Barcsay. “And I do meanall.”
Charlotte slipped her arm through her brother’s and walked with him to the door. “You will not change her, you know,” she murmured, as Thomas smiled sadly. “She is afraid you will take some of her yearly income away or remove some of the servants, that is all. There is no genuine thought of change.”
“But I can protect you as best I can,” he told her, opening the door so they might walk through together. “And I am going to make certain that this Christmas, you have time simply to enjoy yourself, just as you always should have been permitted to do.” He patted her hand lightly. “Charlotte, if you should find yourself falling in love with a gentleman, I want you to know that you have my blessing to proceed.”
Charlotte gave him a wry smile. “I hardly think that such a thing will happen, Thomas,” she answered, though he chuckled at her determined response. “And besides that, I have a duty to our stepmother.”
“It is not something demanded of you,” he reminded her, quickly. “If you should find a desire to remove this mantle of responsibility from yourself and instead find yourself happy, then I would be glad to see it, as would Amelia.” He nudged her lightly. “Do promise me that you will consider it?”
Keeping her gaze away from him, Charlotte shrugged, feeling that sense of responsibility to all that her father had asked of her and knowing that she could not turn from it. “I will consider it,” she answered, a little unwillingly.But I shall not turn from my duty.
Chapter Two
Samuel poured himself another brandy and then flung himself back down in his chair by the fire. The invitation from Lord Trenton rested, open, on the chair next to him where he had set it and his eyes turned to it again.
I do not want to go to London.
He closed his eyes.But nor do I want to remain here, alone.
That had been the greatest trouble for him of late. He had spent the last couple of years at his estate – not refusing company, of course – but not giving any thought to making his way to London, particularly not at this time of year. It held too many painful memories, too many sorrowful thoughts, and Samuel did not want to return to it.
And yet, the notion of staying here at his estate for yet another Christmas alone was not a pleasant one.
Sighing, Samuel took a sip of his brandy and closed his eyes, telling himself that he did not need to read the invitation again. Lord Trenton was his dear friend, had come to call and stay on a few occasions over the last couple of years and had always encouraged Samuel to return to society but had never pressed him to do so. What was he to do now with this invitation when part of him desired to attend simply so that he might be in company again while the other part of him wished to continue to hide himself away.
“If it had not been for her, then I would not be in this position.” Muttering to himself, Samuel pushed one hand through his hair, his heart squeezing painfully. Lady Maria was the source of all this pain, the reason that he suffered so. Had she been true to him, as he had been to her, then none of this would have happened. Even though he pushed them away, eventhough he gritted his teeth and forced his mind away from such thoughts, they lingered all the same until, without warning, the memories came flooding back.
***
“I want to marry you, Maria.” Samuel’s heart felt as though it was so full of love, it might break apart, such was the joy and the happiness within him. “I have already spoken with your father and he has given me his consent.” Taking her hand in his, wishing desperately that they were alone, Samuel pressed her fingers gently. “I am desperately in love with you, Maria. I cannot think of anything but you, my mind and my heart are consumed with love for you.” Keeping his voice low but speaking with as much fervency as he dared, Samuel moved a little closer to her, wondering what it would be like when he would finally be able to steal a kiss from the lady he had come to love so passionately. “I will give you all of my heart, all of myself. We can build a life together, build a family together, make a home together. It is the only thing that I want.” HE closed his eyes for a moment, struggling to keep his composure. This moment meant so much to him for it was to be the moment that would change his life forever. “To know that you love me just as I love you has meant so much to me. I did not think that I would ever be blessed with such a gift and yet, here you are, offering it to me. And such is the wonder, such is the joy in that, Maria, that my only answer, the only thing I can give in return is to offer you my hand.” A whoosh of breath came out from his chest as he pressed her hand again. “My darling. Will you accept the offer of my hand?”
Lady Maria did not answer him immediately, as he had expected. The terrace was quiet, with only two others present, standing near the doorway rather than near them but surely,Samuel considered, it could not be their presence that made the lady hesitate?
“You are most kind.” Lady Maria closed her eyes, a slight tremble in her frame. “Of course, I shall accept. I –”
“You will?” Samuel made to step forward, only for Lady Maria’s hand to go to his chest, holding him back from her. “Forgive me.” Beaming from ear to ear, Samuel settled his hand over hers as it sat on his chest. “I do not think that I have ever been as happy as I am at this moment. I cannot imagine what joy awaits us! I am sure that –”
A sob broke from Lady Maria’s throat.
Samuel’s smile froze in place. “Maria?” He glanced to the other two guests standing near but neither of them looked at them, perhaps too lost in their own conversation as to overhear Lady Maria’s upset. “Whatever is the matter? Has the thought of matrimony overwhelmed you? I know that it is the hope of every young lady and mayhap –”
“I cannot marry you.”
Blinking rapidly, the air pulling from his lungs, Samuel stared back at the lady, waiting for her to explain, waiting for her to say something… but she did not. Instead, all that happened was that yet more tears fell from her eyes, leaving Samuel nothing but confused and uncertain.
“You just accepted me,” he murmured, after a few moments. “But now you say that you cannot? I do not understand.”
Another sob broke from her lips but this time, she stifled it by one hand pressing hard to her mouth. Lifting her gaze to his, tears spilling in her eyes, she gave him a short, sharp shake of the head.
“You cannot marry me.” Samuel’s heart began to twist painfully, his whole being turning icy cold. “Why? I do not understand. You must explain yourself, Maria, please.” Hetried to speak calmly but the upset in his chest began to fill his voice, her eyes darting to his and then away again as a single tear fell to her cheek. Samuel, resolving not to say anything more as he waited for her to speak, took his hand from hers and clenched it into a fist, forcing himself to wait. It felt like hours had passed until, managing to compose herself, Lady Maria finally spoke.
“I – I am sorry,” she whispered, her eyes closing tightly as she shuddered visibly. “I cannot marry you, not when my heart belongs to another.”
