Page 40 of The Duke's Gamble
“And that you would then end our betrothal.” Lady Florentina wobbled just a little and, in an instant, Samuel was beside her, catching her around the waist. Much to his relief, she did not push him away nor beg for him to take his leave. Instead, she leaned against him, clearly needing the support he offered. “Lady Dinah has just informed me that you are to beherhusband, rather than mine.”
Does this mean that you still wish to wed me?The question ran around Samuel’s mind, but he did not speak it, looking to Lady Dinah now and seeing how she shrank from him. “Lady Dinah, is this true?”
Lady Dinah began to sniff, tears glistening in her eyes now. “You do not understand, Your Grace. I have a great love for you that I have been unable to express! It grows in my heart at every moment and, with that, has come hope. Hope that I will be able to have your heart in exchange for my own, that we might share an affection and, thereafter, a connection.”
“Except you made a very grave mistake,” Samuel replied, shaking his head. “You did not give any consideration to the fact that I might have an affection for another. Evidently, that is not something that you even imagined might be.”
Lady Dinah stamped her foot. “I ambetterthan Lady Florentina! My family standing is greater, my title is greater, my dowry, I am sure, will be greater and my character is all the sweeter, I know that for certain!”
Samuel closed his eyes, biting back the harsh reply upon his lips. “You are mistaken, Lady Dinah, if you think that there is any other young ladyasidefrom Lady Florentina that I would consider. I can assure you that, to my mind, she is a lady far more worthy than any other of my acquaintances. She, who knows me better than any other aside from Lord Crawley, has seen my selfish heart and inconsiderate actions and has decided, all the same, to stand by my side. She has done it out of a love for her family, putting their needs above her own and showing a devotion that I can only admire. It is through this, through the strength of her character and the purity of her heart, that I have come to see her true beauty—beauty that surpasses anything I could have imagined. And that, Lady Dinah, is something no other young lady could ever hope to rival. For as long as I live, Lady Florentina will remain the one I cherish above all others.”
Lady Dinah did not react in the way that Samuel had expected. He thought she might sink into herself, drop her head, and apologise quietly for what she had done, acknowledging the foolishness of her actions. Instead, she stamped her foot and let out a sharp scream that made Samuel jump. “There isno onebetter than I!” Coming closer to him, her face screwed up and her cheeks scarlet red, she glared at him as though, somehow, he had become her enemy. “Why are you so blind? Why can you not see thatIam the one you ought to be standing with?”
“I will admit that I was blind for a long time,” Samuel answered, pulling Lady Florentina just a little closer to him. “But now, finally, I can see quite clearly and, in that, I can see only Lady Florentina. There is no one else, Lady Dinah. I have wronged her—greatly, to be truthful—and I admit that I am utterly unworthy of her. Your efforts would have been in vain, even if theyhadsucceeded, for as I have said, I already recognise just how little I have to offer her. I would not have blamed her for a moment, had she been pulled towards another, for I know the darkness of my own character. No matter what you would have tried, Lady Dinah, you would have failed completely. I am entirely devoted to Lady Florentina and fully intend to wed her still.”
Lady Florentina’s frame shook as he spoke but Samuel did not dare look at her, fearful of what she might say to him when the time came for them to speak about Lord Allington and what he had done. Lady Dinah, however, let out another scream and then rushed to the door which, after a moment, Lord Crawley held open for her. Lord Finneston, too, rushed out of the room and, the moment they were both gone, Lady Florentina let out a long sigh and leaned against Samuel all the more.
“You should sit down.” Leading her to a chair, Samuel set her down into it as Lord Crawley, giving Samuel a nod, went to the door.
“A moment, my friend?”
Samuel smiled, grateful that Lord Crawley, in all his goodness, had forgiven him so quickly and was now willing to support him as he sought to make amends with Lady Florentina. “I thank you.” Once the door had closed, Samuel turned to Lady Florentina, sitting down in the chair just next to her though he did not reach out to take her hands. Taking her in, he pressed his lips tight together, seeing how she had closed her eyes, her lips a little open as she breathed out long, slow breaths. Clearly, this had been a most distressing occurrence.
“Florentina?” When she opened her eyes to look at him, Samuel’s heart lurched. Was that sadness in her eyes?“I am deeply sorry for what has just transpired—but more than that.” Pressing his lips tightly for a moment, he shook his head. “I know I should not have behaved as I did with Lord Allington. Looking back, it was selfishness that drove me, for I wanted not only to be free of you but also to claim the house. I sought to end my foolishness, to turn from it, and instead, take what I believed now belonged to me.” A wry smile touched the corners of his mouth. “I did not expect the gentleman to fall in love with you, but I see now that he had every reason to do so. You are truly wonderful, Florentina, and I speak from my heart when I tell you how deeply sorry I am for what I tried to do.”
Lady Florentina held his gaze steadily, her eyes glistening with tears that tore at Samuel’s heart. He had upset her greatly, he could see, had broken her spirit and, mayhap, even shattered the small amount of trust she had built in her heart for him. Lowering his gaze, he hung his head and then, after a moment, looked up again.
“I want to marry you still, Florentina,” he said, softly, knowing now what he wanted to say but finding the words difficult to speak. “I want to marry you because I have come tonot only care for you but also, I think, to fall in love with you, just as Lord Allington did.”
Lady Florentina’s eyebrows lifted a little but still, she remained silent. Samuel’s hands itched to reach out and take her hands in his but he resisted, knowing that he had to wait for her to decide for herself whether or not she would draw close to him in that regard.
“I know that I have failed you in many ways but I confess to you that it is solely because of your beauty—of character and of face—that I find myself so eager to change, so determined to become a better gentleman in every respect.”
“I do believe you.” It was the first time she had spoken to him since Lord Crawley had closed the door, and Samuel’s heart leapt, though he quickly quelled the sensation. That did not mean that she still wished to wed him.
“I am most grateful for that—more grateful than you can imagine.”
Lady Florentina let out another breath, her eyes fluttering closed as a tear dropped to her cheek. “I will not pretend that it has not brought sorrow and pain to hear of what you did in hoping that Lord Allington would pull me toward him. To know that he might have succeeded, that I might have found myself half in love with him only to have then found myself with a broken heart and, in addition, to have let down my family by breaking our engagement and losing our home… ”
Another tear dripped to her cheek and Samuel, his heart rending, reached out and caught her hand, unable to help himself. The urge to show her that his heart was truly as he said it, was just as he told her was so great, that he snatched in a breath, realising what he had to do.
Lady Florentina wiped her eyes with her other hand and then looked away, her lips trembling. “As I have said, I do believe that you wish to be reformed, Dartmoor. It is only that my trustin you, such as it was, has been shattered and in truth, I cannot tell you how long that will take to be restored again.”
“Which I well understand.” The desire in him to speak words that he could not take back grew again and Samuel closed his eyes, fighting against such a desire. It would take her from him, if he dared say it but at the same time, did he not love her enough to give her the opportunity to do as she pleased? “Florentina, I will not force you to wed me. We have not announced the betrothal as yet and, if you desire it, then I shall not do so.”
Her eyes widened, a faint hint of colour in her cheeks. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that, just as it is,” he answered, gripping her hand a little more tightly and then, realising what he was doing, releasing it. “The house—the Haddington house—shall remain your brother’s, Florentina. Whether we wed or not, it will be given back to you all without delay. Indeed, I shall make certain the matter is dealt with in its entirety upon the morrow.”
Hearing this, one hand lifted to her mouth, her eyes rounding now.
“I wish to marry you, I wish to make you my bride because I care for you so very much,” Samuel continued, a catch in his voice now, his heart painful and yet filled with a joy that he was able to do this. “My affection for you is growing with every moment that we share and yet, I know all too well that I do not deserve you. It is just as I said to Lady Dinah and that, I promise you, is the truth of how I feel. But I shall release you from our agreement, if that is what you wish, Florentina, with no consequences to the ending of our connection. I should like you to marry me because you wish to, not because you have to.”
He could say nothing more, his throat aching as he searched her face, wondering what it was that she would say. Fear tried to take a hold of him, tried to tell him that he was soon to lose her and that she would be glad beyond belief to be free of him but,despite that, a tiny light of hope flared and Samuel clung to it desperately.
“Are you being entirely honest with me in this?” Lady Florentina leaned closer to him, the colour in her cheeks heightening. “You would do such a thing as that?”
Samuel nodded. “I would.” His voice rasped as he spoke, but he did not look away from her. “It would cause me great pain, but I would do it, Florentina, because my only desire is for you to be happy in this life. And if you cannot be happy with me as your husband, then I shall step back from you, no matter what pain it would cause me.”
