Page 27 of The Duke's Reluctant Muse
If only she knew how much of an improvement this Season has brought me,Jonathan thought to himself, making his way along the street, coming near the bookshop where he knew Miss Jeffries and Lady Annette would be.It has turned out to be a most pleasant Season after all, despite my difficulties.
The smile still on his face, Jonathan let his thoughts linger on Miss Jeffries. Lord Dennington had been quite wonderful with all of his advice, of course, but Miss Jeffries’ presence had been an unexpected boon. She had been a great support to him, an encouragement when he had not even thought he needed it – and without her, Jonathan did not know where he might now be. Dancing with her last evening, holding her close as they waltzed had been a delight beyond comprehension. It had been unlike anything he had experienced before, something akin to sheer joy as he had danced with her. Their conversation over supper had been wonderful, helping him understand her, to learn more about her and to see just how caring and kind she truly was. She had opened up her heart to him, telling him about herbrother’s headaches, of the strain he had placed himself under, of the sorrow and the dismay that had come with watching him suffer. There had been the relief and the gladness to see him so improved also, of course, but she had told him of his concern about returning home. For once, Jonathan had been able to encourageherand that had brought a new sense of connection between them.
I think I might care for her.
The thought ran into his mind and settled there and Jonathan’s steps came to a slow stop as he considered. It did not bring him any upset to think such a thing, nor did he find himself in the least bit perturbed. Rather, it felt as though he had taken a sip of fine brandy, the heat from the liquid spreading out across his chest and bringing a smile to his face.
What will Dennington say?
That made his smile slip. He was not certain what Lord Dennington’s feelings on the matter would be. Would he be pleased that Jonathan had an interest in his sister? Or would there be a firm rebuke?
Frowning hard, Jonathan rubbed one hand over his forehead. These thoughts and feelings were all a little too new, he decided, and he certainly did not need to make any sort of decision now. He could ponder them a little more, let himself think and feel and consider before he did or said anything. Nodding to himself, he lifted his head and made to continue on his way along the street towards Gunters, only for a carriage to pull up near him, catching his attention. As he walked, he turned his head to see who it was, only for a familiar face to reach his eyes.
His breath hitched, his steps stumbling as he stared, almost transfixed, at the lady.
Then, with shock throwing itself at him, hard, he twisted his head away, rounding his shoulders and ducking his head just alittle as he hurried towards the bookshop. He had not had any intention of going inside, had not thought to join the ladies but that did not matter now. He needed to get away, he needed to hide from her until he could think of what to do.
Every good thing that he felt, every hint of gladness and happiness evaporated in a single moment. Pulling the door open, he hurried inside and pushed it closed tight. Without even thinking as to where he was going, he strode across the shop floor, making his way to the very back of the shop to where he might hide from anyone who came in.
I pray she has not seen me.Pushing one hand through his hair, Jonathan paced up and down in short, quick movements, keeping as far back from the door of the shop as he could. It was only then that he realized just how hard his heart was hammering, how his breath came in short gasps.
Closing his eyes, he forced himself to breathe at a steadier rate, his whole body screaming with frightandwith dread. If she had come back to society, then Jonathan wanted to be anywhere but in London. The difficulty she had caused him, the pain and the trouble had been so great, he had never wanted to see her again.
I was told that she had gone to France, I was very careful to make certain that she would not be here!
“Your Grace?” His eyes slid open as a hand touched his arm. “Nottingham? Are you quite all right?”
“Elizabeth.” It was the first time that he had ever spoken her name aloud but she appeared to him almost as though she were an angel, coming to dispel the darkness around him. “You – you need not… ” He did not know what he was saying, did not know what it was he was trying to ask her. Rubbing his hand over his eyes, he snatched in a breath as the door to the shop opened, afraid that she would step inside… only for a gentleman to makehis way inside. A sigh of relief escaped him and he closed his eyes again, a sudden weakness washing over him.
“You are unwell.” Miss Jeffries now sounded concerned, her hand finding his, squeezing it gently. “Should you like me to call your carriage?”
“I am not unwell.” Speaking as quietly as he could, Jonathan opened his eyes and looked back at her. “Thank you for your concern but I am quite myself, I assure you. I have no malady upon me. It is only a great shock which has captured me utterly.”
Her eyes searched his, her hand still holding onto his own. “What can I do to be of assistance to you?”
Jonathan hesitated, uncertain as to whether or not he wished for her to know of this. To tell her a little now would mean telling her all of the truth later – but what choice did he have? He could not step out into the London streets again without being certain that she was gone but nor could he bring himself to go anywhere near the shop window to search for her, for fear that she would step into the bookshop at that very moment!
“Please, Nottingham.” Miss Jeffries moved a fraction closer to him. “I want to help.”
“That is very good of you.” Patting her hand, Jonathan took in a breath and then nodded, assuring himself that he could trust her with this. “If you might, Elizabeth, would you go to the window and tell me whether or not there is a carriage still there?”
Her eyebrows lifted. “There will be a few carriages present, surely?”
“Yes, of course.” A little embarrassed, Jonathan looked away. “It is an ornate carriage, greater than any of the others. The livery of the servants is emerald green.” He watched her for another moment, only for Miss Jeffries to nod and then step away, her hand leaving his and filling him with a senseof coldness as the warmth of her presence went. Watching her, Jonathan stayed exactly where he was, shifting from foot to foot rather than following after her. There was a tension humming through him, a bubbling in his veins that made his muscles tight and his frame burn. Miss Jeffries looked out of the window for a few minutes, lingering for longer than Jonathan had expected before turning around and coming back towards him.
Her eyes were filled with confusion but she did not ask him any questions.
“The carriage left while I was watching,” she said, softly. “If it is the one you described, of course.”
Relief poured over Jonathan. “It was a grand carriage?”
“Yes, very. The servants had green livery and there was a lady handed up into it.” Miss Jeffries tipped her head a little. “A very fine lady, I think.”
A snort broke from his lips. “She gives the impression of being a fine lady but I can assure you, she is not.”
Miss Jeffries blinked in evident surprise but said nothing, making Jonathan scowl at how quickly he had responded. He ought not to have said anything.
“Thank you,” he said, trying to move past the foolish exclamation he had made as quickly as he could. “That meant a great deal to me.”
