Page 5 of The Penitent Duke
“Rosalind?”
Blinking back her tears, Rosalind rose and stepped into the arms of her mother, who clearly knew all that Rosalind was feeling at the present moment. She overheard her brother apologizing yet again but his words were drowned out by her own sobs as her mother held her close.
“It will be all right, my dear, I am sure of it.”
“How can it be all right?” Rosalind asked, her tears not even beginning to subside despite her mother’s encouragements. “My brother’s reputation is ruined by his disgrace and thus, mine is also damaged severely! And what will Emilia do when it is time for her come out?” She sniffed, grasping for her handkerchief. “This Season, I will be left alone in society, with no gentleman so much asglancingat me for fear that he might be associated with me! None will wish to dance with me, none will wish even to converse with me – so what am I to do? And Emilia’s come out will be even worse for by then, our family name will be blackened though no-one might even remember as to why that was!”
“It may not be as bad as all that.” Stepping back, Lady Fairmont took in a breath and then squeezed Rosalind’s hands, her gaze firm. “I will not pretend that it is not a dire situation. Your brother has told us the truth, however, and that is a good thing for it means that we can be prepared.”
Rosalind glanced at her brother, who had now covered his face with his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.
“I am sorry for what I have done,” he muttered again, rubbing at his eyes. “I lost myself completely and –”
“Your father has already promised me that hewillfind someone for you to marry,” Lady Fairmont interrupted, not looking at her son but keeping her gaze fixed to Rosalind. “You are the daughter of an Earl and that means you have some standing still, despite the fact that your foolish brother has behaved so. He will do the same for Emilia, when the time comes.”
A flicker of hope rose in Rosalind’s chest but she quickly buried it away, refusing to let herself believe that anything good might come from it. “What sort of gentleman would think to marry me now that our family carries this shame, Mama?”
Lady Fairmont lifted her chin. “Any gentleman who knows you would be pleased to consider you, I am sure,” she said, with a firmness in her tone that did nothing to bolster Rosalind’s hopes. “You are quite lovely, Rosalind, with a beautiful character which so many a young lady does not possess. There is nothing about you which would turn any gentleman away.” She shook her head and sighed. “I wish that I had convinced your father to permit you to marry last Season. I understand that he wished for you to enjoy the Season and move through society without any expectation but all the same, this situation might now have been avoided had you already been wed.”
“Though I still think I was correct.”
Rosalind started in surprise at hearing her father’s low voice, though she noticed how her brother seemed to shrink back, hiding himself away from their father’s presence. The Earl of Fairmont always commanded respect merely by his presence and Rosalind could well understand why her brother appeared to be a little intimidated. She was glad he had admitted to what he had done but all the same, there came now a great sense of devastation – something she was sure her parents felt also.
“I was glad to give you your first Season to simply move around society, Rosalind,” her father continued, not so much as glancing towards his son. “I expected that this Season would be your opportunity to find the very best suited gentleman for you to wed. That is still my intention, of course, but I think we are all aware that things will be a little more difficult now.” At this, he shot a look towards his son, but Grifford was looking steadfastly at the floor, his expression pinched. “But all the same, I am just as determined as I was before to make certain of your happiness and, as your mother has said, I will do the same for Emilia when the time comes, though that is not for some years yet. This Season, yourhappiness is the main concern.”
Rosalind waited to see if a tiny flicker of expectant anticipation would make its way into her heart but nothing came. There was not even the smallest bit of hope, not even the merest iota of expectant relief. Instead, there was nothing but heaviness.
“Your father will do as he has promised,” her mother murmured, perhaps seeing Rosalind’s desperation. “You know that he is a man of his word.”
Rosalind nodded, her throat aching. “Might I be excused for a short while, Mama?”
Her mother smiled sadly, perhaps understanding Rosalind’s desire to be alone. “Of course, my dear.”
“Rosalind.”
She turned, just as her brother rose to his feet, one hand reaching out towards her. She did not take it.
“I am truly sorry.”
“I can see that,” she answered, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, her voice wobbling with emotion. “Though it is a little too late, Grifford. You shall be able to elevate your reputation to a commendable stature in due course of years, I am sure and will then be able to wed a beautiful young lady who will give you much joy and happiness in the years you spend together. I, on the other hand, will be left a spinster, unable to marry because ofyourfoolishness – and I cannot imagine what will become of Emilia.” Pausing, Rosalind took in a breath for she had not intended to speak so caustically but yet, the words kept coming. “My future is dark, now. It is nothing but unfair that society should demean me when I have done nothing worthy of their censure but that is the path I must now walk, regardless. Yes, Father says that he can find me a husband and I am grateful for that, but you have robbed me of the opportunity to find a husband of my own; to enjoy courtship and betrothal.” Closing her eyes, tears damp on her cheeks now, she shook her head. “I wish that you had thought of your sisters before you had ever sat down to play cards.”
She did not wait for a response but instead, made her way from the room directly. There was a maid by the door who quickly handed Rosalind a handkerchief, perhaps having heard the goings-on and recognizing that Rosalind would be in great distress. Rather than make her way to her bedchamber, however, Rosalind hurried to the front of the house, asking for her bonnet and gloves and for the maid to accompany her. She did not want either her mother or father to see her quit the house for fear that they would pull her back and prevent her from going where she wished. Barely stopping to tie her bonnet ribbons, Rosalind hurried out of the house, her damp handkerchief in her hand. Hailing a hackney, she gave thecoachman directions and then, climbing in, sat down and leaned her head back, breathing hard.
The pain in her chest was so great, she felt as though it might explode at any moment. Not knowing what would become of her from now on, Rosalind blinked furiously, pressing the handkerchief against her eyes as the hackney rumbled across the cobbled streets. Everything seemed darker now, the grey sky above her a heavy hue that had not been there before. With another sob catching in her chest, Rosalind closed her eyes tightly, trying her best to keep it contained.
“Where are we going, milady?”
Rosalind did not so much as open her eyes. “To see Lady Eleanor,” she managed to say, choosing not to reprimand the maid for asking her such a question. It was only fair that the girl might wish to know where she was being taken and, given the way Rosalind had practically dragged her out of the house as her chaperone, Rosalind reasoned it might be a little disconcerting. “I will take tea with her and then we will return.”
The maid said nothing and Rosalind drew in a long breath, in the hope that it might calm her a little. Soon, she told herself, her fingers now clasped tightly around the damp handkerchief. Soon, she would be at her dear friend’s house and then, finally, she might give way to every single bit of emotion she felt now that she was completely and utterly ruined.
***
“My dear Rosalind!”
Rosalind grasped her friend’s hands and gave in to the tears which instantly began to flow. “My dear Eleanor!”
“Whatever has happened?” Lady Eleanor, clearly sensing Rosalind’s dismay, guided her to sit down in the window seat, her eyes searching Rosalind’s face. “Whatever has distressed you so?”
