Page 8 of The Penitent Duke
“Lord Terrance Valiant,” Lord Radcliffe said slowly, as Lucian’s heart began to beat in a panicked rhythm, suddenly remembering everything in one moment. “How little his character resembles his name!”
Lucian let out a low groan and rubbed one hand over his face.
“You remember now, then?”
“Yes, I do.” Seeing the footman approaching, Lucian reached for the glass but this time, did not throw it back as he had done before. Instead, he let his gaze settle on the amber liquid there, swirling it gently and watching it as it moved. “Lord Valiant is a weak and cowardly man, heavily in debt from what I recall and with his estate falling into decay around him.”
“And his only son doing the very same as his father,” added Lord Radcliffe, scowling. “I saw him only a sennight ago, playing cards with a good many gentlemen and thereafter, writing them all promissory notes for he had no coin with which to pay them!Thatis the gentleman you would be handing the title too, my dear friend. I confess, I am astonished to hear you say that you would give all that you have – all that your father and his father before him had also – to such an unworthy character.”
Swallowing thickly, Lucian closed his eyes and shuddered, recognizing the difficulty which lay before him. Why had he not thought of such a thing before? Had it been simply because of his grief and his guilt that he had not recalled the gentleman? Surely it could not be that he had been so forgetful!
“Are you still determined not to marry?”
“I cannot.” The words came quickly but Lucian let out a low groan and then rubbed one hand over his face as a long, slow breath escaped him. “That is to say, I have no wish to marry.”
A slight smile touched the edge of Lord Radcliffe’s lips. “But does that mean you are now considering that you might?”
“I may have to,” Lucian answered, another tremor running through him. “But what is it that I am to offer a young lady? A gentleman who has no desire to wed but who must do so regardless? A gentleman who wishes to be left alone for as much of the day as he can, who will do only what has to be done to produce the heir and nothing more?”
Lord Radcliffe’s eyebrows lifted.
“I have no desire to marry,” Lucian said again, as though his friend had not understood him the first few times he had said those words. “The thought of taking a wife is dreadful indeed for I do notdeserveto have such a companion beside me, not after what I did with Lady Pearl. But now that you have shown me what will happen to the title if I do not, I fear as though I must!”
“And you are in the right place to be able to find a bride, despite the lack of pleasure and happiness you are to offer her,” Lord Radcliffe answered, dryly. “I am afraid that, since society has a certain understanding of your reputation, you may find it a good deal more difficult to secure a bride despite your standing and fortune.”
Lucian’s lip curled. “I do not think that courtship or the like is what I shall pursue. Instead, I will seek a marriage of convenience, securing the engagement with the lady’s father rather than with her.”
“You will?” Lord Radcliffe’s eyes rounded as Lucian nodded, clearly just as surprised as Lucian felt at his sudden change of heart. “Do you think that a gentleman of quality would not know of your reputation? Or is it that you think they will not care?”
A slight jab of irritation made Lucian’s lip curl. “I do not know what any gentleman might say,” he answered, a little frostily, “but there is bound to be some gentleman who would be more than willing to secure his daughter to me. After all, I am still a Duke.” Seeing his friend wince, Lucian’s scowl returned with force. “What is it that troubles you, Radcliffe? I have been convinced by your arguments that I ought to wed, what more can you want?”
Lord Radcliffe looked back at him steadily for a long moment, one finger at his lips before, with a sigh, he shook his head. “You will not be pleased with what I have to say, I know, but I confess that I feel a concern for whichever young lady you wed. I do hope that she will be suitable for you, of course, but my heart does soften in sympathy for her, whoever she may be.”
“Why?” Lucian, not understanding, frowned heavily. “She will be marrying a Duke, be mistress of a large estate and have all the coin she might wish for. What could possibly trouble her – or you – in that regard?”
“Because I think of the lady herself,” came the reply, as Lucian drew his brows together all the more. “To be first told by one’s father whom she is to marry, only to then discover that while you are a Duke, you are also irritable, angry, frustrated, unwelcoming and keenly disinclined towards her company will be very difficult indeed.” His shoulders lifted. “Truth be told, I confess myself to being a little concerned for what that might do to this young lady. Though mayhap, in time, you will come to have a change of heart as regards your standing with the lady. I can but hope, at least.”
Lucian took this in but said nothing, feeling his heart quail with a sudden uncertainty though he tried to clear that sensation just as quickly as he could. Clearing his throat, he shrugged and chose not to say anything, taking a sip of his brandy instead – but the words of his friend remained.
“I shall take my leave,” Lord Radcliffe murmured, rising from his chair, a look of concern still etched on his face. “Good evening, Strathmore. I shall leave you to your own company.”
“I thank you. It is what I have been eager for through this entire conversation.”
The words burned on Lucian’s lips as he spoke and almost immediately, regret followed. He had not intended to be so harsh or so indifferent, but what Lord Radcliffe had communicated regarding any prospective bride had evidently incited a considerable degree of ire in Lucian.
Anger which he had now used to lash out at his friend.
Lord Radcliffe looked back at Lucian steadily, though Lucian could see the hurt which dashed across his expression. Then, without a word, he turned on his heel and began to walk away.
“Radcliffe!” Lucian got to his feet, upset at himself and at his callous behavior. “Radcliffe, please. I did not mean it. I –”
His friend did not so much as raise a hand to him. Instead, he continued his way out of Whites, the door closing behind him as Lucian closed his eyes.
A long, heavy breath escaped him, his anger and frustration now dissipating entirely, leaving him with nothing but an emptiness, a hollow within himself which made him want to crumple back down into a seat, burrowing himself away in the darkness and solitude. But suddenly, the solitude did not seem as delightful any longer, no longer holding out the warmth and embrace he had been expecting. It felt cold, rushing over him like a wind that stole every bit of warmth from him. Lucian’s jaw set tight, fighting the urge to rush after his friend, to apologise profusely and to beg him for forgiveness. If he did so, he feared he might lose himself in some way, perhaps breaking open the pain and the agony he had kept within his heart ever since Lady Pearl’s passing.
“Another.”
Wearily, Lucian gestured to the footman and then went to sit back down in his chair. The flickering flames of the fire in the corner of the room did nothing to light his spirits, the heaviness of his soul burning in on him.
