Page 21 of The Penitent Duke
“My friend?”
With a clearing of his throat, Lucian forced the words to his lips. “I want to inform you that I have asked Lady Rosalind to marry me.”
What followed was not only a gasp of astonishment but then a cry of surprise as the glass in Lord Radcliffe’s hand slipped and clattered back onto the table, sending brandy in all directions. Lucian made to hurry forward, but Lord Radcliffe only waved a hand and then rang the bell, gesturing to the entering footman to clear up the mess.
Then he and Lucian waited in silence as the brandy was wiped up, the glass taken away and then fresh ones returned. Thereafter, the footman poured them a measure each and, with a nod of deference,handed one to Lucian and the other to Lord Radcliffe before finally, leaving them in silence.
Lord Radcliffe let out a burst of breath as though he had been holding it for a very long time indeed. He swung around to face Lucian, his eyes huge.
“Marryher?”
Lucian nodded. “Yes, that is so.”
“Whyever should you want to do such a thing as that? Surely it cannot be that you thought she would be willing to accept you?”
Grimacing, Lucian took a sip from his brandy glass before answering. “You mean to say that you think I offered her such a poor impression that she would not eventhinkto accept me?”
His friend did not even hesitate. “Yes, that is precisely what I mean.”
Lucian winced, his jaw jutting forward.Am I truly as terrible a gentleman as they both think? Or is it not that they simply do not understand my situation and my ongoing grief and pain?
“You think I do not understand, but I do understand a little. I have lost my parents and my younger sister, if you recall.
Shooting his friend a sharp look, Lucian cleared his throat, wondering if he had spoken aloud.
“While I say that I understand, I also must tell you that I do not accept your determination to be as dark and as morose with it also,” Lord Radcliffe continued, when Lucian said nothing. “There is a time for upset, of course, a time for sorrow and sadness but that does not then lead into a desire to push everyone away from you, by any means possible. The grief is one thing, the discontent and disenchantment is quite another.”
Lucian looked away. “That is not really what I came to discuss with you, Radcliffe.”
“I know that but I think it is important for you to consider what life might then be like for your wife, should you marry. Are you going to continue on in the same manner with her as you are at present?”
Feeling a little uncomfortable, Lucian shifted from foot to foot. “Lady Rosalind understands that I have no real interest in her but instead, that I think only of what must be done as regards continuing on with the family line.”
Letting out a low groan, Lord Radcliffe cast one hand over his eyes, making Lucian scowl.
“I do not know what the trouble is!” he exclaimed, as Lord Radcliffe shook his head despairingly. “I have made it quite clear to her that the only reason I wish to marry is to do my duty as regards the family line, which is whatyouyourself said, is it not?”
“Yes, it was, but I did not think that you would act so quickly nor with such inconsideration!”
Lucian had no response to this. He had done just as he thought he ought, having realized his duty and acted upon it. What now was the trouble?
“Have you truly thought about this?” Lord Radcliffe continued, quietly. “Have you truly thought about what it will be like to take a bride? To have her as your wife?”
Again, Lucian could give no answer. The truth was, he hadnotthought about it a good deal.
“She will be living at your estate! You will dine with her regularly, will need to have conversation and connection if you are to produce your heir. You cannot simply march into her bedchamber and demand your conjugal rights!”
This made Lucian flush. “I had not any thought of being demanding.”
“Then you must realise there will be a need for you toknowyour wife – not merely in the physical sense,” Lord Radcliffe continued, albeit a little more quietly now. “I am sure that you do not want a miserable wife, despite the fact that you have no real desire to wed.”
Lucian swirled his brandy in his glass. “I have no desire for her to be under a heavy cloud for all the days of our marriage, no,” he answered, taking his time to pick his words considerately. “I presume that, should we both have separate quarters in the house and only meet on occasion, then that should keep her fairly contented.”
“That will keepyoufairly contented, you mean,” came the quick reply. “You have not thought about what it will be like to be wed, have you? You have not thought what it will be like forherto be wed to you!”
“I have spoken about it all with the lady herself, surely that is enough to satisfy you?”
Lord Radcliffe put one hand to his heart. “I mean no disrespect, Strathmore, but you must understand that I say this only out of concern for yourself and for her. I cannot imagine what it would be like for a young lady to be wed to a gentleman who has no interest in her whatsoever, who speaks to her as though she is the enemy, who pushes her away at every opportunity so that he might only seek out solitude. In short, I am telling you that youcannotcontinue to behave with her as you have been doing. You must let go of your past, release yourself from the guilt and the shame that I know you still carry for Lady Rosalind’s sake.”
