Page 39 of The Penitent Duke
The Duke’s voice dropped low. “Changed?”
“Yes, you have.” Opening her eyes, Rosalind looked back at him, her fingers twisting together in her lap as she tried to find the right words. “You are not the dismal Duke that I was first introduced to. You are not inconsiderate and heedless to my own situation. You are concerned for me, worried that I might be injured all the more if I continue on this betrothal. I do not think a single word about yourself has come out of your mouth! That is not something I expected to hear from you but that is what you have offered me. So yes, when I say that you have changed, it is because I see a change in your character, Strathmore. You have become kinder, more considerate and gentler in your manner.”
“That is because of you.” The Duke leaned towards her, his voice husky now, his hand settling over her two joined ones. “There is something about you, Rosalind, that has burned itself into my heart regardless of what it is I determined to do – or to feel.” He closed his eyes and then shook his head. “I do not pretend that I am the gentleman I ought to be, of course. But all the same, between Lord Radcliffe and yourself, I have been made very well aware of just how poorly I have behaved in society.” A small sigh broke from him. “The truth is, Rosalind, I have not even permitted myself to think on my behaviour, telling myself that I was quite right to do as I pleased. Every time my mind has begun toquestion such things, I have dismissed it but I can see now that I ought to have been listening to my conscience.” Another sigh broke from him and he shook his head. “I – I am sorry.”
Rosalind blinked in astonishment. She had never expected to hear such a thing from the Duke’s lips, had never once believed that he would be as honest with her as he was being at present. This was not the Duke that she knew but, then again, was he not now becoming an entirely different fellow to the gentleman she had first been introduced to?
“There is more for me to say,” the Duke continued, looking down at their joined hands. “But I must think a little more. I must consider what has been said to me – this warning I have been given – and what we are now to do. And, in truth, I must also consider the state of my own heart and look at the fears to which I have been clinging.”
“About Lady Pearl?” Rosalind could not help but ask and instantly, the Duke’s head lifted and he looked straight into her eyes. Rosalind’s skin prickled, a sudden dread washing over her as she began to worry that she ought not to have mentioned the lady.
Then, much to her astonishment, the Duke threw back his head and let out a low groan. She could only stare at him, horrified now at the upset she had caused him. The Duke’s hand pulled from hers, then scrubbed down his face before he got to his feet.
Rosalind tried to apologise, tried to find the right words to say but nothing came to her. She could only stare at the Duke, afraid now that she had ruined what had only just been built between them.
“I see it now!”
Swallowing tightly, Rosalind watched him as he began to pace up and down the path in front of her, gesticulating as he went.
“I see it now,” he said again, looking at her as though she would understand. “For so long I have heard Lord Radcliffe say the same thing to me over and over again and I have always believed thatheis the one who does not see it. But now, now that I see what it is that we could share, understand what happiness might be present for us if only I would permit myself to do so, I see it now.”
“What do you see?” Rosalind asked, a little hoarsely, her fingers once more clawing together in her lap. “I do not understand.”
The Duke sat down beside her again, one hand going to rest on hers. “The guilt,” he said, softly. “I see now that the guilt I have carried for so long has robbed me of even the smallest hint of joy. I always believed that I wanted it to be my burden, that I wanted it to be something I held onto because it was what I deserved. Ideservedto have the weight upon my shoulders because it was my words that permitted her to come with me.While that might still be true, I have pushed myself into such darkness and shadow that there has been not even the smallest chink of light in my world… that is, until you came, Rosalind.”
This was all so astonishing that for a few moments, Rosalind could not speak. She could only stare at him, wondering if this was really and truly the very same gentleman that she had known for these last few weeks.
“When I asked if you wanted to end the betrothal, that came about from a true concern for you,” he continued, when she said nothing. “I have a real and heartfelt desire for you to be quite safe, Rosalind, for you to beprotectedand yet, even though I put that question to you, there was a terrible fear in my heart of what would come if you accepted.”
“You did not want me to end our engagement?”
The Duke shook his head, his hand gripping hers tightly now. “More than that, Rosalind, I was afraid of what would happen if youdidbring it to a close. I saw my future spread out before me with nothing but regret and disappointment within it. Regret that I had not realised the wonder that you are and disappointment that I had not been able to make you my bride. I do not know why I have not seen such a thing before but I can promise you that, here and now, I can think of nothing worse than being separated from you.”
Rosalind looked into the Duke’s eyes and saw nothing but truth there. Her heart lifted, opening towards him, filling with a new affection for him – one that held hope that this change she had seen in him would only grow.
She let out a slow breath.
“I think you might need to separate yourselves just a little.”
The voice of Lady Eleanor broke through Rosalind and the Duke, forcing her to look to her friend.
“I understand that you are betrothed but there are still matters of propriety,” Lady Eleanor continued, a small smile on her face. “And there are many gentlemen and ladies now joining us in the park since it is near to the fashionable hour.”
“Then what say you to a stroll around the grounds?”
Rosalind, her chest still heaving from the great swathes of emotion and awareness which had harnessed her for the last few minutes, nodded but found she had no strength to speak. What was it that she now felt for the Duke? Why was she glad that their engagement was continuing? What was it about their connection that now made her glad, made her heart fill with hope?
And might it be that all she had once hoped for – a marriage of love, affection and happiness – could still be hers?
Chapter Seventeen
“I must know who that lady is.”
Lord Radcliffe lifted an eyebrow as they stood to the side of the ballroom. “I highly doubt that you are going to find her here.”
“I understand that.” Lucian scowled at his friend. “But there must be something that I can do to discover her. I do not understand what she means!”
His friend smiled briefly. “I understand that but I must say, I am glad that you do not think it isIwho has some dark motivations against you.”
