Page 28 of The Reclusive Earl's Scandal
He tormented himself over the questions long enough that Lady Catherine gripped his arm tighter, drawing his attention back.
“Honestly, Lord Thornshire, you do not wish to trouble yourself with the others,” she said. “I humor Lady Mary because I feel sorry for her, but she is… well, rather meek, I suppose, would be a nicer way to put it. And Lady Rebecca… well, I am certain you know of her activities throughout the ballroom.”
She winced as if it pained her to betray her friend in such a way, but Edward could not be fooled.
“No,” he said, feigning innocence. “I am certain I do not know.”
“I do not want to accuse her or anything, nor call her any terrible names, of course, but…” Lady Catherine inhaled through her teeth. “She has made a reputation for herself. And then there is the Harry Maudley business.”
Her pause was so heavy that he realized she had intended to incite surprise, to coax him to be interested.This is a test, he realized.She is trying to see if I feel anything for Rebecca.She didn’t expect him to know enough about Mr. Maudley, but theway she dropped it into the conversation made him suspicious. Howhada commoner learned of Rebecca’s ballroom activities, anyway?
“Well,” he said, “I am certain Lady Rebecca’s business is her own, and certainly not mine.”
“Indeed, it is not.” Her answer was demure enough, but it snapped harshly, and Edward felt warned. He nodded silently. He wanted to say something regarding her harsher words about her supposed friends, but he couldn’t stop wondering if Rebecca knew how Lady Catherine felt about Lady Mary and her.
Lady Catherine made a disapprovingsound in her throat the longer they walked in silence. “I do hate when you do not speak.”
Edward tensed. “I did not realise we were familiar enough for you to have an opinion on such a thing.”
“Well, I hate silences,” she said, the pretty, overdone softness to her voice slipping into something much more pointed. “Speak to me. Why do you not?”
“I simply do not have anything to say.” He frowned, catching her eye. In the back of his mind, he thought of Rebecca’s gentle statement from several days ago.I find the significance in the ability to walk in silence with somebody.Heavens, he knew he should not be thinking of her in comparison to a woman his sister wanted him to marry, but he couldn’t quite wrangle his thoughts into shape.
“A shame.” Lady Catherine’s mouth pressed into a grim line. “We are but strangers. There should be a thousand things you wish to know about me.”
“Of course,” he muttered, yet he never asked anything else, and he cringed at Lady Catherine’s annoyed, rough noise in her throat. But he was saved by the fact that they had arrived at the small bridge that he had spotted earlier.
The pause when he pulled away from Lady Catherine allowed the three others to catch up to them. He tried not to notice how Elena frowned between Lady Catherine and him, looking towards him questioningly. Edward rested his palms on the bridge, bracing himself as he gazed out at the view. The river rushed below, the river pathways stretching on and on. The water was murkier than he would have liked, yet the view was still rather beautiful.
Further down, dragonflies buzzed over the surface of the water, skimming the river, and sprouts of river grass spiked up.
“I do not see the appeal of looking out at a view we have just wandered past,” Lady Catherine complained, but Edward ignored her, keeping his eyes on the expanse of water and pathway before him. His eyes closed, looking away from the group of ladies adjacent to the back of him, standing off to one side of the bridge. He inhaled fresh air into his lungs. As a man who had shut himself away for so long, who haunted the same four walls day in, day out, trapped out of fear and desire borne from that fear, the fresh air was comforting. It reminded him that he was more than an earl who suffered with these bouts of panic.
It reminded him just that hewasmore in general.
It reminded him that he was alive, and he could get out, and he could survive his own mind and nerves.
He stiffened when the rustle of skirts interrupted him, and he braced himself for more of Lady Catherine’s complaining, but it was Rebecca who spoke, surprising him. Still, he kept his eyes closed for a minute.
“Lord Thornshire,” she greeted, more formal with the ears nearby.
“Lady Rebecca,” he returned, his mouth quirking. He didn’t know if she saw the smile, but he simply felt it anyway. “How are you?”
“I am well.”
“Are you?”
The silence between them thickened, not uncomfortable, but thoughtful. Eventually, Edward opened his eyes, finding Rebecca’s eyes fixed on the rushing river ahead. Her head was lifted as if she held herself together.
“Are you?” he asked again, softer this time.
She nodded, turning to him, and her smile was the same one he had seen her give her suitors on dance floors when they asked if she enjoyed her dance with them and she had not.
“Come now,” he urged gently. “I know we have not seen each other for many years, but with my prior knowledge of you combined with my current, growing intelligence, I do believe I know you slightly better than to receive a fake smile.”
“Who says it is fake?”
“I do. And I do not think enough people notice.”
