Page 51 of The Reclusive Earl's Scandal
Her eyes shined with fresh tears, and Edward finally did reach out to take her hand. She let him slip his fingers between hers, although she looked down at their joined hands for a moment too long, and he wished he wanted to pull back, to maintain that friendly distance, but he truly did not want to.
“Rebecca, I am grateful you have told me,” he said. “But I want you to listen, and I want you to understand and relieve yourself of any guilt or burdens. My father was good with hisfinances, as was my grandfather. I have been a recluse for all my life, and even as the earl I have only ever made one big purchase.”
“Your new estate.”
Your potential home should you choose once you see your life with me, he thought self-deprecatingly.
“Yes,” he managed to say. “The Thornshire accounts hold more money than I know what to do with. I have other assets unused that can be liquidated should I need it, but I have plenty to take care of us, my sister, my mother, the estate, and your family. I do not care what you bring to this marriage. I do not care if you only proposed the idea to gain money. I do not care.”
A guilty flicker across her face said that Edward was at least partially right. It may not have been her only reason, but it had factored in. Yet there was a helpless desperation to it; it didn’t feel like Lady Catherine’s deception. This was a woman who had sacrificed what she wanted in order to save her family.
“But...”
“No buts,” he countered, smiling hopefully. “I love you, Rebecca, and that is why I agreed to marry you. If offered, I do not even require your dowry. I wantyou, and that is quite simply all there is to it.”
I just do not know if you want me.
But the silence in the carriage made him think over what had just slipped out of his mouth and he stilled.
I love you, Rebecca.
Oh, Heavens.
Rebecca’s face changed, her expression flickering. Edward looked away and pulled his hand back, but she squeezed it. He didn’t dare think it meant anything, but he squeezed right back. All the while, his heart pounded. Yet there was something he still had not let go of, not even as Rebecca whispered a softthankyou: had she truly only walked away from Harry to marry a wealthy man for her family’s sake?
Did that mean she might still hold some affection for him, no matter how faint it might be now?
Chapter Sixteen
I love you, Rebecca.
The proclamation followed Rebecca into her dreams as well as her waking hours over the next three days. Trying not to read into them too greatly was a big effort, and she kept reminding herself that friends could love one another. That she was not worthy of Edward’s love, a man who risked so much of himself to be present, a man with a kind heart and generous thoughts.
Thinking of the way Edward had stilled right after his confession distracted her from her embroidery as she sat in the sun room. It had been three days since he had seen her home safely in his own carriage. Her heart beat faster as she looked towards her father’s study. Once again, Edward was in there, meeting with him.
What for, Rebecca did not know.
Perhaps arrangements for a betrothal ball? Ideally, she did not want one. She knew Edward loathed such things, and she was in no mood to celebrate with a room full of people who were gossiping incessantly about her, but it was customary to host such an event. If their mothers had anything to do with it there would be a ball.
She was startled when Mr. Kingsley came into the room to summon her to her father’s study. Following him, Rebecca tried to steady herself. She didn’t know why she suddenly felt so nervous, but she stood her ground as she entered the study, both men turning to face her.
“Rebecca, come and join us,” her father invited, and she swallowed hard, nodding. Edward’s shoulders were relaxed, nothing like the stiff tension with which he had agreed to their proposal. Rebecca sat in the chair next to Edward, her gazefixed on her father. She could not bring herself to look at her betrothed, not since he had told her he loved her and they had not had a chance to speak about it.
Part of her did not want to know. Part of her wanted to know more than anything.
“Lord Thornshire and I have been… discussing your dowry.”
Heavens, he is upset that I told Edward the intricacies of our finances.Her palms sweated, and the walls grew smaller, and Rebecca feared she could not breathe easily.
“I am a proud man,” her father said tightly, “but I am thankful Lord Thornshire has approached me about this.” Shame colored her father’s cheeks. On his desk, his fingers clasped together, white-knuckled. “I must admit, in front of you, Rebecca, that I do not have the money for your dowry.”
Rebecca really should not have been surprised, but she still felt unexpectedly furious. For she had worried and she hadknown, but her father had repeatedly lied and told her all was well. She had begged him to prevent this very thing from happening, and he had ignored her.
Before she could seethe out her anger, her father held up a hand to ask for her to wait.
“I must admit my mistakes, for I know them without you voicing them, Rebecca,” he told her.
“You are so well-composed when you wish to be,” she whispered, hurt. “Yet you can be so ruinous at other times.”
