Page 100 of An Unwanted Widow for the Duke
“He doesn’t trust you?” Elizabeth frowned. “You? You, who tells people what you think, no matter what? Now, let us focus on what’s important. Do you even want him?”
Did she even have a choice on the matter? Women got married for protection. They might seek love, but most of the time, they could only hope for it. Only dream of it. Wilhelmina had thought she was close to that, only to realize she had been wrong.
Her eyes stung as images of what she had considered her family flooded her mind—Gerard smiling softly at her whenever he thought she wasn’t looking, and Hector laughing appreciatively at their little adventures in the house and the gardens.
They were so happy.
“I do,” she murmured. “I didn’t think I would, Lizzie. I never intended for this to be?—”
She paused. Was she just about to say that it had become real?
She tried to shake the cobwebs that seemed to be forming in her head.
“Do not give up, my dearest. Your husband seems like a man who needs his quiet before he can get back to the world of the living. Let him be, for now,” Elizabeth advised.
It would be difficult to explain to her that it was not as simple as that.
Meanwhile, in Talleystone, Gerard was on his third or fourth glass of brandy. If he were being honest with himself, he did not know how much he had already drunk that night. He had tried to focus on the amber liquid, but Wilhelmina’s face kept flashing before him. He could still see it even when he closed his eyes.
Sleep had eluded him since she left. It was a wonder that he used to long for silence when he needed rest. But this time, the house was too quiet. It mocked him.
Gerard did not realize how much Wilhelmina had changed the house with her gentle laughter and light footsteps.
Hector seemed to feel the same way. The boy had been lonely before Wilhelmina, but he was distraught after she left. He was quieter, not up for chatter or play, and would even submit to his tutor without complaint.
Those little details gnawed at Gerard’s conscience. It was all his fault.
The door creaked open, the sound soft but loud against the silence. Little feet shuffled in.
“Papa?”
Gerard turned around, his drowsiness suddenly gone. His son wore a nightshirt that trailed on the floor, making him look small.
“It’s late, Hector. You should be in bed,” he managed to say without slurring. His voice was soft—softer than it had ever been for the last few weeks.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Hector whined. He climbed onto the chair opposite the desk, his eyes narrowed on his father. Probing. “Why didn’t you tell Lady Mina to come back?”
“She’s with her sister. She missed her. So, we should let her spend some time there; she will return when she is ready.”
“Do you think she’s happy there?” Curiosity knitted Hector’s brow.
“Of course,” Gerard replied. It was a lie. He didn’t really know if Wilhelmina was happy with her sister, but he hoped that she was feeling more at ease. “She and her sister are very close.”
“Well, I don’t really know what that’s like,” Hector said with a shrug, his eyes scanning the study as if he would find an answer to his questions there.
“What are you talking about?” Gerard asked with a frown.
“I don’t know what it’s like to have a sibling,” Hector explained mournfully.
Gerard had never really thought of having another child after Hector. He already did not know what to do with his only son, and it would not be fair to have another child for the sake of it. But somehow, the thought now makes his chest tighten.
Perhaps he was selfish when he decided to ask Wilhelmina to marry him. He had thought he was doing her a favor, what with his money and status protecting her.
But children?
He told her he wasn’t interested in having more without even asking her what she wanted. Her marriage to Robert was a farce, although she said they had tried to give it the semblance of a true one.
“It’s not always perfect, Hector,” he murmured.
