Page 108 of An Unwanted Widow for the Duke
“I do not even know what love is meant to be,” he admitted, his chest tightening. “I thought I knew once. I thought it was obedience, duty, maintaining appearances. I married Pamela when I was nineteen because my father demanded it. I was a boy then, and she… she loved another. I never tried to change that. I gave her space because it seemed the right thing to do. I tried to protect her heart from the confines of my father’s will. But my own heart… I left it shivering. When Hector was born, I thought perhaps it would bring us together, but she could not, she would not. And then, grief took her… grief for a man who was not me. I found her one morning, unconscious in the rain, fevered. She never recovered. And I—I was left alone to care for our son.”
He drew a steadying breath, voice hardening with a mixture of regret and determination. “I failed her. I failed Hector. I feared everything, and I built walls so high I nearly lost myself inside them. I have been overprotective, harsh even, becauseI promised myself he would never endure what I endured. I promised I would do better than my father and his cruel lessons. I love my son fiercely, yes, but I’ve failed to show it properly. And perhaps, in trying to control everything, I became cold.”
He paused. The weight of his confession hung in the air, pressing, tangible.
“Then you came. You gave Hector joy that I could not, not because I didn’t try, but because I didn’t know how. You made him laugh. You gave him imagination, wonder, and—” He swallowed hard, the raw truth cutting through his pride. “—you gave him love. And in giving him love, you gave me hope I had not dared to imagine.”
Wilhelmina’s lips parted slightly, a breathless question lingering there, but no words came.
“I doubted you. I hurt you. I let fear dictate my actions when I should have trusted you. And now,” he pressed, stepping closer, “I stand before you, stripped of all pretense. I am selfish. I am proud. I am stubborn, as you have said, and yet… I am yours. Not the Duke, not a name or title. Me. Gerard. I love you.”
The chamber seemed to hold its breath. Wilhelmina’s eyes widened, softened, and finally, tentatively, she reached out, her hand brushing his jaw.
He shuddered at the touch, groaning low before daring to meet her gaze again.
“You’ve muddled everything,” she whispered. Gone was the sharpness, replaced with a quiet weariness and something tender beneath. “You were arrogant. You disbelieved me, even when I told you truths that should have been enough.”
“Yes.” His voice was thick, guttural, stripped of the masks he had worn all his life. “I was wrong. I see it now. I made a mess of what could have been the simplest thing.”
Her hand lingered against his jaw, and for the first time in years, Gerard allowed himself to simplybewith her. Vulnerable, exposed, yet unshakably present. He had faced the world, a soldier of expectations and grief, and now he faced the only thing more terrifying: hope.
“Do you remember how I agreed to this marriage because of Hector? I was also thinking of myself. I wanted to be safe from people like Lady Farnmont. All that talk about who I am, who I was, my first marriage—it must have gotten to you like a punch to the gut.”
Pain flickered in his eyes. He knew her pain. He had even thought himself her savior. But that was his pride talking. It was wrong of him to think that he had saved her without her doing the same for him.
“But even through the confusion—yours and mine—I realized that Talleystone could not be the same without you. And when I left for Elizabeth’s, I could not help but carry Talleystone with me as if it had become a part of me or I’d become a part of it,” she continued, her fingers tracing his jaw.
“Forgive me, Mina,” Gerard breathed, leaning his cheek into her touch.
“Not so quickly,” she said. “Grovel some more.”
His eyebrows flew up in surprise, but he saw the mischief in her gaze.
Was she finally back? The wife he’d grown to love?
He huffed a laugh, relief coursing through his veins. His heart was full of something different now. Something akin to joy. Very close but still cautious.
“You are merciless,” he praised, his hand closing over the one resting on his face. “Mina, I was wrong. I almost destroyed the one good thing in my life, which is my family. You and Hector. Forgive me, Wilhelmina. Forgive me, my wife.”
She blinked rapidly and whispered, “Very well, then. I believe you’ve begged enough.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Wilhelmina was tired of fighting. Fighting Gerard. Fighting her feelings. Fighting her destiny.
“Thank you, darling,” Gerard murmured, looking at her with a mix of love, disbelief, and hunger.
At first, she thought that he would not do anything. That he would just wait. They had been waiting forever, it seemed. But then he bent his head and kissed her.
This kiss was tentative at first. Searching. Two hearts had been too bruised and broken.Gentle and deep, it was a promise of something more lasting.
Wilhelmina held on to that. Yet, she was also impatient, reaching for his neck to pull him closer and deepen the kiss.
Gerard’s arms slid down to her waist as if he no longer wanted to let go. Their tongues dueled. She had missed the taste of him, longed for the feel of him. She could kiss him all night.
When they parted, both panting and a little sheepish, her lips twitched. “Ah, there you are. You’ve at least won that battle.”
“Is that how I fight for you?” he asked, giving her a lopsided smile that made her heart melt.
