Page 88 of An Unwanted Widow for the Duke
“Oh, I have no regrets at all.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Come inside,” Wilhelmina called.
That night, she heard a knock at the adjoining door.
Gerard had been trying his best to please her. It was quite something.
It was like Robert all over again, except her first husband only saw her as a friend. They were like a brother and a sister, keeping secrets from the rest of the world.
She could not help but brush her hair faster, anticipating Gerard’s entrance. It was late, judging by the dwindling fire.
The door creaked open, and there he was, looking a little shy. She could not help but grin at the sight. He looked so much like Hector when he was about to say something he didn’t think she’d like.
“Are you sleepy?” he asked.
“Mhm. I can’t say I am, but I will be as soon as I’m done brushing my hair. It’s a routine,” she replied, her heart fluttering.
“Do you always sleep late?” he asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
Her breathing stuttered. “I… I do, especially in the city. I grow restless here. In the country, I slept earlier. There was always so much activity in the woods that by nightfall, we could not help but crave our beds. My father didn’t care much for London.”
The words were tumbling out faster than she had intended.
“He preferred to hunt. He was… domineering. Perhaps it was easier for him to hide his temper there. Fewer eyes to see how he wielded his cane.”
“Wilhelmina…”
“Oh, I apologize. I didn’t realize that… that he was still haunting me after his death. My mother might be overbearing, but Father… he was cruel.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” Gerard said softly.
“Well, I can bear it.” Wilhelmina then quickly changed the subject. “It was easier to hide from Society in the country, butLondon has a vibrant scene—the shops, my family, even though everyone still finds a reason to go to the country for a respite. Please believe me when I say that I’ve made my peace.”
She grew thoughtful. It seemed that her husband had a way of stirring some emotions she had thought were long dead. She wanted to know more about him, too, but instead of asking, she watched him.
Was that why he came to her bedchamber? He wanted someone to talk to, someone to share his thoughts with?
That was certainly what a marriage should be, and theirs was becoming more real with every passing moment. Or at least, it felt that way on her side.
That sobered her a little.
“My father was a soldier,” Gerard said at last, his voice flat. “He demanded perfection and would beat it into me if he thought he must. At least, that was what I told myself: that he must. Otherwise, I would have had to wonder why he did it at all. Likely, he only wanted an heir.”
“I know you tried your best?—”
“I did,” Gerard cut in, his jaw tight. “I followed every rule, every order. Still, it was never enough. When my mother died, I was sixteen. After that, it grew worse. When I was nineteen, he arranged my marriage to Pamela. Even then, he was dictatingwhen we should have a child and how I should run my household. He died a year after Hector was born. Pamela died a few months after him.”
Wilhelmina’s throat ached with sorrow. She had only ever known the broad strokes—that he had lost his wife and that he raised Hector alone. She had not imagined the weight that lay beneath.
“I am so sorry, Duke,” she whispered. “I did not know.”
Gerard looked her in the eyes. “You are my wife, Mina,” he said, his voice steady. “Say my name, as you did when we made love. Keep it on your lips, always.”
His name had always hung on the tip of her tongue, but she was afraid. Even though she was hailed as a shrew when she was younger, the reality was that rules also governed her far more than she wanted them to.
But did he mean that? Made love? She supposed it was merely the proper way to call it. Would she rather he were crass?
