Page 98 of An Unwanted Widow for the Duke
Gerard let out a harsh laugh.
She could not believe why he was acting that way. All she did was tell him the truth. As for the secrets? They had never promised each other anything. She didn’t even expect him to tell her everything. He didn’t have to.
“When were you planning to tell me, Wilhelmina? After years of marriage? After I thought we were telling each other the truth?”
“That’s unfair!” she protested, her cheeks reddening. “I feel like I’m on trial, and I’ve never done anything wrong. I’ve always followed the rules.”
“Followed the rules? Is everything in life just like that—?” He broke off. “I deserved to know the truth, Wilhelmina.”
She knew why he stopped. He was about to accuse her of being too focused on the rules, when all along, he had been just like that—rigid, proper.
“We did get to know each other, didn’t we?” Her voice cracked, but she forged on. She faced him with a jutted chin and flashing eyes. “We married as strangers who needed each other. Now, I’ve learned to trust you enough to tell you a secret that only one other person knew—and now he is in his grave.”
“We could have talked about it. Why did you let me stand there and listen to all of Lady Farnmont’s accusations, wondering if any of what she said was true? It makes me wonder if youactually care what I think. I trusted you blindly, defending you without knowing the details.”
Tension hung heavily between them. It wasn’t like any they had felt before. It was thick, pulling them apart and yet pushing them together in an unhealthy exchange of words.
“One can’t simply flick fingers to earn trust, Gerard. It grows. It is earned. Then, it can die and struggle to resurrect. Yet, you are proving to me that you may just be like the others. You are demanding my trust as if you have the right to it. Tell me, though.” Her voice wavered a little. “Do you truly trust me? Have you opened up to me completely? Told me your deepest secrets even as you demand the secret I do not even have the right to reveal?”
Gerard bowed his head, remaining silent.
“Well?” she prodded, even as her heart could not possibly handle the answer.
He did not answer. Instead, he looked away from her.
She wondered if she should have entrusted him with Robert’s secret because, even though his eyes shuttered, she could swear she saw something akin to fear.
She could not take it anymore; she left the room. Perhaps she should not have gone there at all.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“Papa, why won’t you sit beside Her Grace?” Hector asked, wide-eyed.
Gerard appreciated his boy’s efforts to bring them together, but there were things that his young mind still did not understand.
The dining room had been so quiet that the question felt like a knife slicing through thick butter. Meanwhile, Gerard’s knife paused over his plate, as if just as stunned as its owner.
Across the table, Wilhelmina did not lift her head to meet his eyes or even look at him in passing. Her fingers were wrapped around her fork, her movements methodical.
Gerard wondered if she could sense the boy’s distress. Hector’s lower lip was trembling, as if on the verge of tears, but there were no comments from his usually caring stepmother.
Perhaps Wilhelmina had given up on her role.
“Sometimes, we just want to try things. I prefer this seat tonight,” Gerard explained, trying to keep his tone light. “Remember, Papa was not here much for a while. When you were younger, you even had a different suppertime. We do have to test different solutions before we can decide on the best one. What do you think, Hector?”
“But you were doing so well in your seat,” Hector pointed out, frowning. “You were telling us stories and giving us smiles while you did. Now, you don’t smile anymore. Did we do something wrong, Papa?”
“Hector,” Wilhelmina finally interjected, reaching out to touch the boy’s hand, “remember your manners. You must eat your supper in silence, darling, and wait to be addressed by the adults.”
The boy’s frown deepened, and he let out a little huff. It was clear what he felt about the situation, but he obeyed anyway.
Gerard tried to ignore what was going on. He should let the boy realize that he could not get everything he wanted in life. That was the way of the world.
As days went by, Gerard and Wilhelmina had developed a habit of discussing only the necessary things, such as Hector. After all, they did have to talk about his nutrition, lessons, and activities. They had agreed to let Wilhelmina take charge of these things. Still, their conversations were shrouded in thinly veiled hostility.
One afternoon, Hector seemed bent on taking the matter into his own hands. He ran out of the drawing room and into the corridor, where he must have sensed his father’s and stepmother’s presence.
“You both must see my new fort! It has two towers!” he yelled.
