Page 20 of Unholy Gambit: Checkmate in Blood
“I apologize. You’re right, but I only wanted to lighten your load a little. It’s bothering you more now than before.”
“I’m okay. Sitting and eating helped, and the aspirin reduced some of the inflammation.” She sighed. “Okay, yeah. It got stiff while I sat so long, but it’s fine.”
“It’s a negligible bit of energy for me to make you a little lighter on your feet.”
Aury shook her head and didn’t argue, but he could see her thoughts — his assistance helped, but she didn’t want to get used to it. She needed to stand on her own two feet without help.
Other people were on the sidewalk, so he telepathed,You’ve done more than your physical therapists would approve of, andyou know it. A little help until you can retire for the night and give it proper rest.
I should probably be creeped out that you know what I’m thinking, but I don’t want to keep secrets from you, so it’s okay. It seems unfair though, that I can’t know what you’re thinking.
She said it without accusation, just honesty.
He wasn’t used to being seen. Not like this. He was used to being analyzed. Feared. But she didn’t flinch. Didn’t recoil from his mind pressing into hers.
She welcomed the incursion.
I’m unaccustomed to feeling emotions,he admitted,and I feel as if my heart is an open wound around you — and that came out all wrong.
He exhaled through his nose, gaze locked on the dashboard.I didn’t mean for it to sound like a negative, and yet, I’m not sure how to contain the emotions I’m feeling.
He paused, and for a second, he didn’t just hear her heartbeat — hefeltit, pounding through the tether that had always existed between them, now bared and pulsing.I want to put you in lamb’s wool and lock the world away from you. I want to keep you untouched, unseen, but I understand you’ll never be okay with that.
There. The truth. Ugly, possessive, raw.
“You’ve truly never had emotions before?” she asked gently. “Never loved anyone? Never cared for someone?”
“I cared for the people for whom my life depended — my parents growing up, my boss later in life.” He switched to telepathy again.And eventually the vampire who made me, but it was purely a factor of my own survival. When my parents died, I felt nothing. When I had to leave the vampire who made me, to oath into the coterie of another, there was only the uncertainty of whether the new vampire could see to my needs in the same way my maker had.
“You explained the trigger, when I was a child, what made me different, but it doesn’t make sense, logically. Right? Emotionally, though, it makes perfect sense. The thing is, perhaps love isn’t supposed to make sense. Maybe our souls recognized each other, or maybe we’re some kind of fated soul mates. I don’t want to believe in that kind of thing, but it’s kind of hard not to.” She stopped walking and looked at him.I love you, and I’ve loved you all my life, even when you were only in my dreams.
The Axel of last week would’ve snickered at the reaction present-day Axel had from that simple statement. Not that she loved him, because he’d sensed that from the start, but that she’d say it so soon. That she understood the connection.
Recognized that she belonged to him and always had.
Was he truly capable of love? He’d seen her ashisfor nearly two decades, but he hadn’t understood the feelings beyond the possessiveness.
He wasn’t at all certain he understood them now, either, and he owed it to her to be honest.
The idea of love was foreign to me, before that night. I don’t know if what I feel for you is love, but I think it has to be.
They walked in silence for at least a minute, and Axel searched for something else to talk about. “Your Dr. Woods — I can see in your thoughts you respect him as well as like him. Can you tell me more about why that is?”
“He was my therapist when I was a teen, and wow, did he help me find the right perspective toward all kinds of things. I haven’t needed him for a long time, but going from a cripple with a limp to someone who can go on hikes, go to amusement parks without needing a way to get around, and since scooters and the like are only allowed if you have a legitimate disability, it marks you, to be on one.”
She sighed. “In a nutshell, a key piece of my identity is changing, and I hadn’t realized how much my injury defined me. He’s helped me work through moving from being a cripple to a healthy person capable of being athletic. I don’t actuallywantto be terribly athletic, but he’s suggested I might pick up a social sport, like pickleball or golf, at least for a season, to see if the activity appeals to me.”
He looked in her head for a definition, and then told her, “I admit, I had to look in your head to see what pickleball is. What an odd name for the sport, but it might, indeed, be an interesting challenge for you. I believe you’ll be too cerebral with golf, while the speed of pickleball will get your body more involved.”
“You know, I came to the exact same conclusion. Did you see my conclusion and echo it, or did you come to it on your own?”
“Let me expand upon my promise not to lie to you. I also promise not to be dishonest with you, and echoing what I can see in your head would most certainly be dishonest.”
“I probably should’ve asked this before, but do you play chess?”
“I do, but I’d rather not play you until we get to know each other better.”
“Is that because you will win, or you will lose?”
