Page 84 of Xander

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Because that shine I fucking loved... had dimmed.

And I couldn’t be responsible for causing it to dim even further.

I shook my head at her, “Don’t.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, “Don’t what?”

“Don’t tell me what we are. We’re nothing but friends who had good times. That’s it. Besides, you deserve better than some biker.” I told her.

The words cut like glass as they came up my throat and out of my mouth.

And at my words, she exploded off the bed.

“Don’t tell me what I deserve!” she shouted in my face, “You don’t have that right.”

I didn’t reply.

“Fucking hell, Xander. Answer me!”

I still didn’t reply.

What was the fucking point?

When you have been beaten down as badly as I have…

“If I walk out that door, Xander, I’m not coming back.” Those golden tawny-flecked eyes of hers pleaded with me to say something.

Anything.

It was written clear as day for me to see.

But what the fuck could I say to her?

To make her understand.

I was the boy that nobody wanted.

I was the man that has no clue why he was still breathing.

Why he is still fighting.

That was why I set out to do what I do best.

Fucking things up.

Simply by breathing.

Fuck. Me.

And that was why I stepped to the side as she walked out of my bedroom door, closing the door softly behind her.

And I missed the tears that trailed down her cheeks as she left the clubhouse, got in her car, and drove to her apartment.

‘I hate being suspicious about things, but damn, that gut feeling is always right.’

– Nola’s Secret Thoughts.

Chapter 14

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