Page 29 of Mine Again
If you were still out there, mio falco… would you still look the same? Would you still smile with your eyes first, slow and teasing, before your lips gave you away?
My eyes drift to the corner of the room. To the camera.
The invisible tether I refused to cut. In case he was watching. In casehe still cared.
How many nights did I lie awake, staring at that lens? Whispering his name like a prayer, sometimes like a curse. Trying to provoke a reaction. Any reaction.
I stripped for him… touched myself.
But still… nothing.
Luca would never abandon me. Mia said it this morning, and it’s what I’ve always told myself. He’s not that kind of man. He loved me fiercely, with a depth that seared. Ifeltit.
So if he never came back, if he didn’t so much as leave a sign for three years, then…
Then…
He truly must be—
The word won’t come, my mind still refusing to go there. I’ve considered it before, though, late at night when hope seemed like a curse. But I could never believe it. Some small, stubborn part of me refused to let go.
Still does.
And yet, it’s the only explanation that makes sense.
I press a trembling kiss to his picture behind the glass. His face doesn’t blur. It doesn’t soften. It stares back at me, eternal and unreachable.
This is all I have of him now, isn’t it?
A still image. A memory behind glass. A love that never had the chance to grow old.
No final goodbye. No body. No closure.
Just a bleeding absence.
I blink away the tears threatening to rise.
No more tears, remember?
Since Luca left, I’ve lived off memory and habit. Off foolish hope.
The time is finally here, isn’t it?
Acceptance creeps in.
It feels real… like the end.
I glance at the corner where thecamera watches.
Mia was right this morning. It’s time to let go and move on. To continue with the plans I’ve been working toward for years, ever since that first sign of life from Luca, a year after he vanished.
Only now, the end goal is changing. It’s no longer to escape and find him, but to get out of this predestined life and make my own.
If I don’t move forward now, Father will decide my path for me. My window is closing.
I take one last look at Luca’s face. Those familiar eyes. That teasing smile.
I will always love you.
