Page 47 of Mine Again

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My heart lifts as I click on the first message, anticipation fizzing low in my belly.

From: FlexxOnU94

Yo. Alpha here. 3 gym sessions a day, 6-pack year-round.

You into protein pancakes? I make ‘em shirtless.

I blink.

What… the actual…?

Do women actually fall for this? Is there a demographic I missed? Are shirtless protein pancake chefs the pinnacle of romance?

I check his photos, just in case.

Oh wow. Yep, abs for days. Unfortunately, not a single brain cell in sight.

Next.

From: SpartanBeast77

We should train together.

I could spot you anytime. Or just watch. Up to you.

Watch me?

Watch me do what, exactly? Shuffle cards seductively under a lemon tree?

Creep.

From: MammaBoyz23

Hey beautiful.

My family is very close-knit. You’d love them.

Like, we do everything together. No secrets.

Sometimes we even share… stuff.

I’m going to be sick. Actually nauseous. The kind that starts behindyour eyes and trickles down your spine.

And this is only message three?

I groan. Out loud. How many more of these horror shows am I going to read?

Still, I press on like a disaster tourist.

From: TonyTwoTimes

I run my own car detailing business, lift five days a week, and I tell it like it is.

You look like someone who can handle a man.

Let’s skip the games.

Handle a man? What am I, a forklift?

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