Page 77 of Mine Again
Will I ever come close to feeling what I once had with him?
Even now, all these years later, he lingers in my mind like a ghost.
I shake my head, reminding myself for the thousandth time since I accepted he must be dead that Luca isn’t here, and despite his promise, never will be again.
Whatever we had is gone. And no wishing and praying will change that.
Move on, Isa. You have a plan. Stick to it.
I stare at the screen. The flirty mood I was caught up in has evaporated.
No, I will not let the past ruin my future.
Think, Isa. Say something witty.
I delete what I had started to write and try again. And this time, I’m not thinking of Luca.
Me:Well, I don’t ride. But I’m open to learning. Under strict conditions.
Number one: No judgmental horses… or horsemen.
Number two: No going cross-country.
Number three: I get to wear the fancy boots, even if I fall off.
I hit send before I overthink it.
A pause. Then his reply lands with perfect timing.
Sapphire Eyes:Deal. I’ll even let you borrow my best pair. Though I expect dramatic flair when you dismount.
A small laugh escapes me, the heaviness in my chest loosening.
Me:I’m excellent at dramatic flair. It’s the actual riding part that might kill me. AndI don’t think your boots will fit me.
Sapphire Eyes:So a riding lesson will be our first date?
He really wants a date with me. My smile widens.
Me:Steady on. Let’s ease into this. I might not like you after the first date. So I’m not risking a sore butt on top of a potential disappointment.
There’s a short delay. I picture him reading it, smirking.
Sapphire Eyes:Fair enough. But I’ll have you know, I never disappoint. Soon enough, you won’t get enough of me.
Ha. He really is sure of himself.
I start to smile again, but then guilt curls in my chest.
Let it go, Isa. You’re allowed to move on.
I exhale slowly, steadying myself, then let my fingers fly over the keyboard.
Me:I’m purposefully ignoring your last statement. How about coffee next Wednesday? Same place we last met?
Sapphire Eyes:You’re really making me wait a whole week?
I smile. Small but real.
