Page 28 of Mine Again
No chocolates. No ribbon. No sign of Luca.
I stand there for a moment, the silence pressing in around me. Tears sting my eyes, but I willnotlet them fall. I’ve done enough crying to last me a lifetime.
In fact, I hate crying. It’s pathetic… like I never learn.
Angry at myself for hoping yet again, even though I knew better, I head to the bathroom, moving a little slower than before.
I strip out of my soaked dress and lay it carefully across the counter. God, I hope it’s not ruined. Mari nailed exactly what I love.
Goosebumps rise on my arms as the air chills my skin. I step into the shower and let the hot water thaw what’s left of me.
The warmth soothes me like a balm. I tip my head back, eyes closed, and let the steam curl through my thoughts of birthdays.
So many of them were happy and filled with the kind of firsts every girl dreams of.
But then came the sad ones. One after the other, getting worse each year.
Except…
Today was somehow different. Tonight especially was unexpected.
Not just because of the sprinklers or the laughter with my sisters. But because of him.
Sebastian.
I squirt shampoo into my hands and massage it into my scalp.
Had he been about to ask me out? Or did I imagine it?
The way he steadied me, held my gaze. Like there was no one else in the world. It reminded me of Luca… who isn’t here and won’t be again.
Despite the heat of the water, a shiver moves through me. I’ve barely spoken to him, but something stirred… a flicker.
Not since Luca has anyone made me feel anything. Not like that.
I freeze, my hands stopping mid-lather, startled by the realization.
Am I… not numb anymore?
The awareness settles over me slowly, but it shakes something important loose. For so long, the numbness was my shield. Especially after the gifts stopped coming.
But if I’m feeling again…
If something inside me still responds, then perhaps Mia was right this morning.
Maybe it’s time.
After drying off, I tug on a sleep shirt and return to my room. My hair’s still damp, dripping the occasional bead of water down my back. I don’t bother with a towel. The cool air is oddly grounding.
I sit on the edge of my bed and reach for the drawer.
Inside is the framed photo Father made me put away. From our engagement party.
Luca and me. Smiling. Glowing, really.
So young. So sure.
I trace his face with the tip of my finger.
