Page 45 of Brat Baby
And even though every fiber of my being believes that she belongs with me and the others, my brain is hedging its bets. This next six months were supposed to help us decide whether we want something more permanent with her or not. Her being a student has complicated all of that, a lot.
I don’t know her or things about her—well, not enough—to make a life-altering decision. I love my job, I love my career. But those things barely stack up against the idea of loving Emery in the future. Which means we will be going to Thayne to get permission to get to know her, not because we want something permanent.
Permanency is not an option right now. We need time to figure it out. Time we don’t have.
Students linger around the halls and the common areas. I smile and wave as I pass them but don’t let any of them stop me. Leaving is my priority right now. If I don’t get off this damn campus in the next few minutes, I might do something fucking stupid, like turn up at her dorm room.
And wouldn’t that just create a real fucking mess?
No, I need to stick to the agreed-upon plan and trust that Thayne will help us find a way to be with her. He knows all of us. He knows what we want. What we crave. He is the one man who can help us make this work.
I’ve checked the code of conduct. It very clearly states that there is to be no fraternization between teaching staff and students. There are details about previous relationships prior to enrollment or course orientation, but with there being four of us requiring the exemption and the exact details of how we met Emmy, I don’t think arguing the fine print is going to win us any points.
The late afternoon sun hits my face as I exit the building and double-time it to my car. My phone vibrates in my pocket as the parking lot comes into view, and I pull it out.
Darcy:Grab a drink?
I reply in the affirmative and that I’ll meet him at the bar near his place. Yes, a drink sounds amazing right now. If I didn’t have to teach tomorrow, I’d be drinking enough to erase the broken and fragile look she had on her face when I’d taken a step back from her. Just thinking about it has my jaw clenching.
That fragility is the exact reason she can’t know about our discussion with Thayne. We are selfish fuckers for wanting to keep the girl and our careers, but we have to at least try. If Thayne’s answer is no, with absolutely no wiggle room, then it’s best not to let Emery have hope that this can be fixed. I suspect she has had far too many people let her down in the past.
But we aren’t going to let her down. I don’t know that I can spend the rest of the semester with her in my classroom and not in my bedroom.
God, I fucking want her.
I want her spread out in front of me, restrained and begging for me to stop, to keep going, for it to be over, and never ending. I want to take her to Obsession, wearing our cuffs and collars. Our marks.
I want her to be mine. Ours.
I want to wreck her, shatter her into a million pieces, then glue her back together again, so that I can fit inside.
And fuck, of course she wore my outfit. As soon as I saw her and clocked what she was wearing, I’d had to stay parked behind the lectern to hide the way my pants were pulling tight. There is literally nothing else she could have done, besides being naked, that could push me so close to the edge.
So fucking bratty.
I adore it. Hergive no fucksattitude seems like something that is closer to her true self, and I am so completely here for it.
I want more of it. I want more of her.
I force myself to take a deep breath as I step onto the parking lot.
With the state of things right now, everything I want isn’t possible.
Instead, I’m going to spoil her with this shopping spree. I have a few more ideas of what to get her in the way of extravagant extras, but I would also like to get her things she may need.
I haven’t forgotten that, before our first little shopping spree, it was clear she had very few items to call her own. And from the state of the things we got to see that first night at the hotel, I doubt her other possessions are in a much better state.
Tuesday will be dedicated to getting her things that I am sure she needs, like quality linens and bathroom things. Shoes. Makeup. Things a girl her age should have an abundance of. All things I saw one or two broken pieces of, if I saw them at all.
I do not want my kitten wanting for anything. She’ll never need to ask us for anything ever again, because she will already have it.
I didn’t spend my twenties working at one of the top five hedge funds to lock up all my savings and not spoil the people in my life that I care about. Finding Darcy, then Derek and Xavier when I’d first arrived at Newton five years ago was the beginning of this new version of me. The version that knows what he wants and doesn’t allow those around him to work until burnout.
And now, meeting Emmy, I think this may be the start of the final version. In a week and a half, I’ll know whether I get to keep her and my place here at NU.
Or if I’ll have to make a choice.
Chapter 26
