Page 36 of Prudence
Nuala seemed surprised by this. “You do?”
“Deirdre and Derek’s daughter, Gigi, have become friends at school. They’ve been hanging out a lot, and I think Derek’s annoyed that he has to see me all the time because of their friendship.”
Nuala shook her head. “God, he’s such a grouch. I’m sorry. Would you like me to talk to him? Get him to ease up? Like I said, he’s been an arse to everyone these last few months, but that’s so amazing Deirdre and Gigi have hit it off. Gigi has been very down since her mam went on tour, so having a new friend could be good for her.”
“Deirdre mentioned that. I actually heard them talking about it, and Gigi sounded upset.”
Nuala’s expression suddenly became overwrought, a sheen of emotion in her eyes as she rubbed at her neck. “It’s been an awful few months. Ever since Paloma announced she was going away, Gigi’s been practically catatonic. She even …” Her words trailed off as she waved away whatever she’d been about to say before continuing, “I know Derek’s been hugely stressed about her. It’s one of the reasons he’s been such a dick to everyone. I think he’s just feeling very lost and doesn’t know how to help her, so he’s taking it out on the rest of us.”
Empathy thickened my throat, and my gaze flickered across the table to where Derek still sat talking with Theo, completely unaware that he was the topic of conversation between his sister and me. I felt for him, even if he did seem to hate me now. I couldn’t imagine how I’d be if Deirdre were suffering from depression.
“Has he tried sending her to talk to a professional?”
Nuala nodded. “She’s seeing a therapist, and it’s helped a little, but not as much as we’d all hoped for.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, taking a sip of wine. “She’s at my house tonight with Deirdre. They’re watchingMystic Pizzafollowed byPractical Magic.”
This got a little smile out of her. “I’m jealous. Those are movies I wish I could watch for the first time again.”
A server appeared with our main courses, and I was happy to distract myself with food, though my empathy for Derek andGigi persisted. I had no idea of the full story with her mother, but it just seemed like a tough situation for everyone involved. Also, Nuala said Derek was an arsehole to everyone lately, but I had a feeling he was particularly disgruntled by me because of our history. It was evident he’d never told his sister about proposing to me. He’d declared his love for me that day on the beach, and though he’d only been twenty with little experience of the world, I had a suspicion the hurt he’d felt that day had stuck with him. I knew being the one to reject him had stayed with me, especially since, if things were different and I didn’t feel such a loyalty to my aunt, I certainly would’ve said yes. He’d captured my teenage heart, and there was very little I wouldn’t have agreed to at the time when it came to him.
The lemon and garlic risotto I’d ordered was delicious, but I couldn’t enjoy it fully because I was too caught up in past regret. It was a frustrating feeling because I wouldn’t want to change the present, but I also mourned for something that might’ve been.
Throughout the rest of the meal, I stayed true to my word and didn’t address Derek once even though our gazes clashed several times. Each time, my throat tightened with words I wished to say but probably never would.
When the meal ended, it was late, and the street outside was dark, lit only by dim streetlamps. It was a short walk to my car, but I felt a presence, and as I approached my bright red Suzuki, I turned and spotted a tall figure standing outside the restaurant. Derek watched as I climbed into my car and hit the locks, only walking away when I pulled out onto the road to drive home. The idea of him standing there and making sure I made it to my car safely had more conflicting emotions warring within me. He didn’t get to ignore me and then display concern for my safety at the same time. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t he just be a complete dick and then I could simply hate him, and that would be that?
Two days after the group dinner, I finally found time to attend the mindfulness class I’d been eyeing for weeks. Back in London, I’d made it a priority to attend meditation because my work could be stressful, and I needed to stay on top of my mental health. My life now wasn’t half as busy, but I still wanted to keep up my old routine. I also figured I might make some new friends at the class, which was always a bonus.
Entering the community hall where the class was being held, I was greeted by the instructor, a pleasant woman named Roberta who wore a bright green necklace in the shape of a turtle. She looked to be about fifty and was warm and welcoming as she ushered me inside and pointed me in the direction of a free mat to sit on. As I made myself comfortable and prepared for the class to begin, I looked up just in time to see a tall, dark-haired, brooding figure stride into the room. Irritation had my cheeks heating.
Come on, how was this fair?
Our gazes clashed as Derek walked by me, his brows drawing together as he noted my presence without saying hello. When he reached the back of the room, he lowered onto a mat while I internally debated leaving and finding a different class. One that didn’t include sharing a space with the first boy I’d ever loved who was now deeply bothered by my very existence.
13.
Derek
Of course, she was here.
I sat at the back of the room where I always did, mainly because it made people less inclined to try and talk to me. Milly was two rows in front, her perfect arse encased in a pair of skintight leggings and her perky breasts criss-crossed in a soft, pale purple wraparound that I really needed to stop staring at. I had half a mind to march up to her and declare the class was my territory and she had to leave. But that would be an insane thing to do, and besides, Roberta would kick me out if she heard I was scaring away new members.
To be honest, these classes were one of the few things keeping me sane lately. They were a place where I could clear my mind and feel some semblance of inner calm. I wasn’t sure that would be possible with Milly here. She was far too much of a distraction.
A beautiful, sexy, delicate,infuriatingdistraction.
I was going to have to find a new mindfulness class now, wasn’t I? There was no way I could concentrate on emptying my mind when all I could see was the waterfall of her long, chestnut brown hair in a silken river down her back. I’d always been obsessed with her hair, and she still kept it long like she used to when we were young.
I stilled when she turned her head very slightly to the side, peering in my direction before quickly turning back around. Her shoulders seemed to sag, as though in dejection, and a niggle of guilt set in. I’d been so hostile towards her, selfishly doing everything in my power to keep her at arm’s length. I hadn’tgiven much thought to how uncomfortable it must be making her feel. It wasn’t either of our faults that we lived in the same town and socialised in the same circle. Not to mention the friendship between our daughters. There was no way to avoid running into each other.
Even though we’d barely interacted, I found myself thinking of her often. The other night after dinner, I couldn’t help watching her walk down the street to her car, ensuring she got there safely. When we were around one another, my gaze was always drawn to her. I was constantly aware of where she was in any given room, and it was driving me insane. And had I mentioned how entranced I was by the way she’d turned into this classy, beautiful, sophisticated grown woman? Not that she hadn’t been those things before; they were simply more enhanced now. I was attracted to Milly, just like I’d always been, and it was a hassle I didn’t need or want. I certainly didn’t need to go falling for her all over again like I had at twenty, and making a fool of myself by getting down on one knee only to be rejected.
Still, we couldn’t go on like this.
Sighing, I stood from my mat and went to lower onto the free one next to Milly. She let out a sigh eerily similar to the one I’d just emitted, not turning to face me or even acknowledge my presence.
I stared at her profile, getting lost in the gentle slope of her nose, the plump curve of her lower lip.
