Page 42 of Prudence
“My sister tells me you’re starting a new job at the end of summer,” he said then, breaking the quiet.
“Yes.” I placed my glass down. “I secured a teaching position in the radiography programme at UCD. That’s the area I ended up specialising in.”
“What made you decide to start teaching?” Derek’s brown eyes were keenly focused as he rested his arm on the bar, his body turned towards me.
I blew out a breath. “I worked in a very busy hospital for almost ten years, and life had started to feel like a bit of a hamster wheel,” I answered honestly. “I felt like Deirdre was growing up so fast, and I was barely getting to enjoy my time with her. I applied for the teaching position on a whim, never imagining I’d get it, but when I did, it was a surprisingly easy decision to move home. It meant getting to be close to my parents again, and with both of them in their seventies now, I feel better living nearby. My sister, Jane, is in Kilkenny, which isn’t a million miles away, but it’s still a long drive for her to reach Mam and Dad if anything happened. Donna has an apartment here in the city, but she’s not very reliable when it comes to our parents. She’s never been the kind of person who’llcheck in on them or show up first during an emergency, you know? She’s more the kind to tell you she lost her phone and then appear days later after someone else has taken care of all the stressful stuff.”
“That sounds a little selfish,” Derek commented.
“It is, but I think she just finds it difficult handling tough situations. She tends to check out if she gets overwhelmed.”
“And what about Deirdre’s father? Is he going to come live here, too?”
I was surprised he asked the question since it was veering into pretty personal territory. I took a sip of wine before I answered, “No, he’s staying in London. He’s a surgeon, so his work is his life. He’s always been good to Deirdre, though. Colin and I, we weren’t together for very long. I met him about two years into my college career. He was the son of one of my aunt’s acquaintances, and we were seeing each for a couple of months before I got pregnant.”
I paused, unsure why I was telling him all this. Strangely, though, I wanted to him to know a little about my life, what had happened during the years we’d been apart, and I wanted to know about his life, too. I hoped that revealing some things might encourage him to open up in return. It would be nice to get know him again, especially with Deirdre and Gigi becoming so close.
“I’m sorry,” he said then, taking me by surprise.
“For what?” I questioned, confused.
He cleared his throat. “For what I said that night when you came to collect Deirdre. It was low of me, and I just wanted you to know that I didn’t mean it. I’ve gotten to know your daughter over the last few weeks, and she’s a testament to you. She’s an incredible young woman, and having her around has made the world of difference to Gigi.”
His compliment made my cheeks heat a little. “Well, um, apology accepted. And the pregnancy wasn’t planned, obviously, but yeah, I don’t regret it for a single second. Although I do still think of the irony of two medical students failing to use proper contraceptives,” I laughed softly, and the faintest smile touched Derek’s lips. “Things didn’t work out between me and Colin romantically, and we split before Deirdre was even born, but we’ve always managed to remain good friends. Colin’s a great co-parent, and he’s always been happy for me to have the main custody of Deirdre while still doing his best to be present in her life.” I paused to shrug. “It works for us.”
When I looked to Derek again, he was studying me in a very intense way, and I found myself blurting, “What about you and Gigi’s mother? How did you meet?”
He blinked himself out of whatever thoughts he was having and sat back a little. “Paloma and I met when I was travelling around Europe the year I finished college. She’s originally from Seville in Spain, but we met in Bilbao. I was staying there for a few days, and she was travelling through with a group of musicians who were touring the country.” He paused to rub at the stubble on his jaw.
“We, uh, we ended up having a one-night stand, and the next day, she invited me and my college friend, Justin, to travel to San Sebastian with her group for the next spot on their tour. Justin was taken with the cellist, so we didn’t hesitate to change our itinerary. In the end, we travelled for the next two months with the group, going from city to city. It was a bit of a whirlwind.” Derek paused to cast me a glance before he continued, “Anyway, we parted ways at the end of the tour, and Justin and I flew home to Ireland. I’d started working full-time for my dad when, a couple weeks later, Paloma showed up on our doorstep announcing she was pregnant.”
“Oh, my goodness, that must’ve been a shock.”
He gave a low chuckle. “You could say that again. I got quite a talking to from my parents, especially my dad, but they ended up loving Paloma and invited her to live with us.” His expression was thoughtful, like he was casting his mind back to those days. “She liked it in Ireland and decided she’d stay and raise our child here. A few months into the pregnancy, she proposed.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Sheproposed to you?”
“I should’ve been the one to do it, especially with a baby on the way, and my dad kept saying how it was important that I step up to my responsibilities, but I …” His words fell off as his gaze met mine, and my throat thickened because I had an inkling of why he’d been reticent to ask Paloma to marry him. He’d proposed once before, and it hadn’t gone as he’d hoped. The idea of Derek being scarred by my rejection when he was so young made me feel like the worst person in the world. “Anyway, we’re divorced now, so I guess it doesn’t matter all that much.”
He lifted his drink and knocked back a gulp before standing from his stool, “We should probably go check on the girls.”
“Yeah,” I replied, gathering my handbag to follow him from the bar, all the while my heart was in my throat as I thought of how I’d hurt him so many years ago.
The most troubling part was a yearning built within me to make right a past mistake.
15.
Milly
A tension lingered between us as we returned to watch over the girls. Deirdre and Gigi looked like they were having the time of their lives. Their carefree joy as they sang along and danced to the upbeat pop songs had me smiling despite myself.
The crowd swelled around us, more energised now that the concert was in full swing, causing Derek to stand close behind me. I felt his heat on the back of my neck, his tall presence almost shielding me from the excitement of the other concertgoers. My face heated, and a buzz filled my ears at his proximity, and when a young woman who looked a little intoxicated moved by us, a plastic cup of beer sloshing about as she clumsily made her way past, I felt Derek’s arm go around my middle, pulling me close so the beer didn’t spill on my shoes. His hand gripped my hip, causing a flutter in my belly.
When I chanced a peek at him, I saw he was smiling as he stared ahead, eyes on his daughter. It warmed my heart because he clearly loved Gigi very much, and seeing her happy obviously meant a lot to him. Suddenly, his gaze flicked down, his fingers flexing on my hip when he seemed to realise he was still holding onto me. Had it been so instinctual for him to move me to safety? It was like he did it without even thinking, and my pulse thudded at the thought.
He let me go, putting the tiniest bit of distance between us but still standing close, leaving me entirely discombobulated.
When the show was over, the girls hurried through the crowd to find us, both starry eyed and breathless.
